When an infamous killer goes into hiding in the Mississippi wilderness, one family must face the darkness lurking within the deep green tendrils of Kudzu vine.
This sounds like an exciting script, Anna Woodliff! And great visuals!
I only have two suggestions for your logline:
#1) I suggest not using "must" in your logline. “Must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar in the Stage 32 Writers' Room (www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Review-with...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
#2) I think "face the darkness lurking within the deep green tendrils of Kudzu vine" is vague (something you don't want in a logline). I suggest changing that to the story goal and the stakes. Something like: "one family fights for survival against the darkness lurking in the deep green tendrils of Kudzu vine."
And I'm not seeing the connection between the inciting incident ("When an infamous killer goes into hiding in the Mississippi wilderness") and the rest of the logline.
One last thing: On your website, it says this is a Horror script, but on the Stage 32 page, it says the script is a Thriller.
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Check out kudzumovie.tumblr.com for visuals :D
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This sounds like an exciting script, Anna Woodliff! And great visuals!
I only have two suggestions for your logline:
#1) I suggest not using "must" in your logline. “Must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar in the Stage 32 Writers' Room (www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Review-with...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
#2) I think "face the darkness lurking within the deep green tendrils of Kudzu vine" is vague (something you don't want in a logline). I suggest changing that to the story goal and the stakes. Something like: "one family fights for survival against the darkness lurking in the deep green tendrils of Kudzu vine."
And I'm not seeing the connection between the inciting incident ("When an infamous killer goes into hiding in the Mississippi wilderness") and the rest of the logline.
One last thing: On your website, it says this is a Horror script, but on the Stage 32 page, it says the script is a Thriller.
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1 person likes this
Thank you! This is my best script and I am looking for the right home for it!
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You're welcome, Anna Woodliff. I'd definitely watch this movie.