THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

THE DRESS

THE DRESS
By Bill Brock

GENRE: Thriller
LOGLINE:

Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, a hotshot film director, struggling with substance abuse, must conquer his demons to fulfill the mystical dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier.

Nate Rymer

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

I really like the logline, Bill Brock, but I suggest removing "must" (because "must" makes it sound like the main character is forced to conquer his demons, and "must" doesn't sound active).

Here's a logline suggestion: "Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."

OR: "After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."

You could also change "62 years earlier" to "62 years ago."

Tasha Lewis

Rated this logline

Bill Brock

Thanks, Everyone, for liking my little ghost story.

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this logline

Robin Gregory

Rated this logline

Michael Dzurak

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In