LOGLINE: After Skippy Joe hires E.G. to take some nude pictures of some of the TV dinner plant employees, the workers try desperately to find out who the culprit is.

ACT ONE

INT. TV DINNER PLANT LUNCHROOM – DAY

The Lunchroom is packed with employees. Dave, Red Kneck, and Skippy Joe sit at a table. EG walks up to the table and grabs a seat next to Dave.

SKIPPY JOE

Hi little boy. Are you new here?

EG is clearly upset.

EG

I’m NOT A LITTLE BOY! Yah, today is my first day. The place looks like it sucks.

SKIPPY JOE

You are going to like it here in Durnkville. There are a lot of different things to do here. Lots of good porn shops.

EG

I used to live here a long time ago. I had to leave…right away. Umm. Anyhow…what is your name?

            EG

What was that? I couldn’t understand you.

            EG

I’m sorry. I still can’t understand what the fuck you’re saying. What’s your name?

            EG

That’s the most fucked up name I’ve ever heard. If you’re embarrassed by your own name, you shouldn’t be. Your parents should be shot for naming you that. They must both be completely fucked up. Heee heee. That’s fucked.

            EG

I like it. First of all, it looks good on me. Second of all, if it gets cold, I’m prepared.

            DAVE

Excuse me. Can you please move your little ass over? (To EG) I have no room here.

            DAVE

What was that?! I’ll throw you right through that fucken window!

            DAVE

So Red Kneck, is your divorce finalized yet?

RED KNECK

Yah, damn bitch. Six months of marriage down the drain. She even tried getting the damn dog. I should have let her take him. All he does is eat up all my damn food and smoke my cigarettes. Ya know something else? I’m thinking about checking his lazy ass into AA. He’s been drinking all of my beer. I won’t let him drink my whiskey anymore. He just plain gets mean. But, anyhow. You wanted to know about that other damn dog of mine, Veronica? She’s a dumb bitch. She actually told the judge that I didn’t have anything going for me. How in the hell does she figure that?

Red Kneck quickly opens up a can of beer and slams it quickly. He throws the empty can into a bag and then disposes of the bag into the garbage.

Dave rolls his eyes toward the ceiling.

            RED KNECK

Damn, sixteen. I think this one might be the worst though. I just don’t remember her being as big of a bitch until she married me. Am I doing something wrong?

A lady in her forties walks by the table

            LADY

I don’t work here

            LADY

Well! I’ve never been so insulted in all of my life.

The lady walks away furiously.

            EG

Why did you do that? What did I do to you?

            EG

That’s bullshit. One of these days I’m going to take an accident in your shoe.

            EG

(mumbling under his breath) This is bullshit.

The character’s supervisor General Cliff Labor walks in.

            SKIPPY JOE

Ohhh! I love creamed corn. You are going to love creamed corn too EG!

INT. SALISBURY STEAK MANUFACTURING LINE – DAY

Dave stands over by his press. Red Kneck pulls up on his fork lift.

            RED KNECK

All I know is I’m gonna get completely shit faced tonight. I think me and Mr. Bubbles are going to head up north. There’s a  big party going on up there this weekend.

            RED KNECK

Mr. Bubbles? Oh…he’s doing good. I’ll never let him eat peaches again though. Damn, that was nasty. No. I never got insurance. I really don’t need insurance though. What’s the chance of me hitting somebody else?

            RED KNECK

Ohh, I’m a careful driver. I never try hitting anybody.

            RED KNECK

Then, they would owe me some money.

Dave is very puzzled.

INT. CREAMED CORN MANUFACTURING LINE – DAY

Skippy Joe and EG run the creamed corn press.

            EG

Yah, some fun.

            EG

Yah, but I hate those skinny chicks in those magazines. I wish the women weighed a bit more.

            EG

They have to weigh a bare minimum of 300 pounds. I like to play in their rolls. It’s kinda like playing in a big bowl of jello. It’s hard to explain.

            EG

Well, how much money are we talking about?

            EG

Whose picture do you want?

            EG

You want me to take naked pictures of guys?

Skippy Joe looks around nervously.

            EG

Well…if it’s in the name of art. Then that’s a different story. Ok. I’ll do it.

EG and Skippy Joe both smile.

EXT. BUBBA AND DAVE’S HOUSE – DAY

The house is a typical suburban home.

INT. DAVE’S SHOWER – DAY

Dave is in the middle of taking a shower. He sings some old heavy metal tunes.

            DAVE

What the hell was that? Bubba is that you? You better not be putting no damn bee hive in my underwear again!

Dave thinks back to the incident. It sends shivers up his spine. Dave realizes that it isn’t Bubba and thinks that he is just hearing things. Dave starts singing again.

            DAVE

What the fuck was that?!

INT. DAVE’S LIVINGROOM – NIGHT

            BUBBA

Really? He can’t be any gumpier than that Skippy Joe fucker. I would have made it to work today, except I didn’t feel like going.

The characters laugh together.

            WILLIAM

Oook akaah Blemshonan…bbbbuuuurrrrpppp!!!

            RECEPTIONIST

Excuse me Skippy Joe. Are you looking for the latest video starring Rocky Bottoms? I bet you are! How can you resist watching the ass that has had over one million already served?

Skippy Joe can hardly contain himself. He jumps up and down like a little five-year old boy who just ate 20 pixie sticks.

            RECEPTIONIST

Well. I certainly would have put it another way. How can I not know your tastes? You are only in here every single day. Heck. You pay for my corvette payment every month.

Skippy Joe buys the video and walks out of the store humming an old porn song.

EXT. RED KNECK’S TRAILER – NIGHT

The trailer is old and quite beat up. A bird flies by and shits on his twenty-year old truck. EG looks through his window. He hesitates and walks in slowly into the trailer.

INT. RED KNECK’S BATHROOM – NIGHT

Red Kneck is in the middle of taking a shower.

            RED KNECK

There won’t be any damn apologizing either. You just keep that crap up and I’ll cut off your cigarette allowance off too.

Red Kneck drops the soap onto the floor. He bends down to pick it up. EG takes a picture and runs hurriedly out of the bathroom. Mr. Bubbles walks into the bathroom as EG leaves. He has a cigarette in his mouth. Red Kneck sees Mr. Bubbles.

            EG

Here are those pictures Skippy.

            EG

Well….here’s those photographs. Anyways, do you have my money?

            EG

Thanks. I’m sure you’ll do great on your art project.

            EG

I’d like to get a picture of that! Wow! Holy guacamole, what I’d do to play slip and slide in that!!

INT. TV DINNER PLANT LUNCH ROOM – DAY

Dave and Red Kneck enter the lunchroom for a break. There is nobody else in the room.

            DAVE

What the hell is this?

Red Kneck opens the book up. The two men see nude pictures of them showering.

            DAVE

I will kill somebody! What sicko wants these pictures?

Dave turns the page and sees more pictures of the two men. There is one picture with Dave’s picture cut out and pasted onto one of Red Kneck’s shower pictures. It has a twinkie like substance spilt next to it. Dave’s eyes bulge out of his head.

            RED KNECK

Yah….I can’t believe this bull-shit…and it took the cake when I seen the picture with Dave’s picture pasted onto my shower photograph. I’m gonna fucken kill.

Dave gives a look like he is going to go massacre somebody.

            DAVE

Yah, really funny. You’d be killing people if it happened to you.

            DAVE

Well, I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I WILL find out who did this and they WILL die!

            BUBBA

Ha Ha Ha! This Fucken Rules!

            EG

How’s it going big guys?

            DAVE

Fuck you.

EG gives a look of concern.

            RED KNECK

Some little bastard has been taking pictures of me and Dave in the shower. We found a photo album with the pictures in it in the lunchroom today.

            BUBBA

Well. I’ll let you boys enjoy the rest of your day. I have to go meet that one chick tonight. Be careful taking showers tonight! Maybe you two should take one together just to be safe! Ha Ha Ha!

Bubba makes a square camera shape with his fingers and pretends to take a snap-shot of Dave. He then sings “Photograph” by Def Leppard as he exits the bar.

            RED KNECK

Yah, I think I’m going to hit the couch, drink a few out of my fridge, and wait for that cock to show up with his camera tonight. Then, I’m going to tie his cock to my antenna until the next lightning storm comes.

Red Kneck starts walking towards the bar exit door. Dave isn’t paying attention and is looking at a cute girl who has just walked into the bar.

            RED KNECK

What?! What did you say?

            RED KNECK

Whatever that means little boy.

            RED KNECK

Ha Ha Ha! Little shit.

EXT. ALLEY OUTSIDE THE BAR – NIGHT

            DAVE

I don’t know. But if I do catch him, his body will be spread through every state. New York. Pittsburgh. New Connecticut….everywhere.

            DAVE

Hell, I could have told you that. You still are. In fact you’re a cock too.

            DAVE

That was just a TV show wasn’t it?

            DAVE

I guess I never really thought about it.

            DAVE

Well, that’s a lot of money.

            DAVE

Ok, just find the future dead fucker!

            SKIPPY JOE

How does this look mommy?

Skippy Joe holds up his blanket. It has a picture of Liberace playing the piano on the blanket.

            SKIPPY JOE

Yay for me!! Tee Hee!

Mr. Dupree (Skippy Joe’s father) Walks into the living room.

            MRS. DUPREE

Oh, knock it off honey. Skippy is just showing me his latest and greatest. He just finished another blanky.

Skippy Joe holds up his blanket to show his dad. But seems unsure of himself showing it to him.

            MRS. DUPREE

Don’t you think that you’re being a little too hard on him?

            MRS. DUPREE

Oh kitten, don’t let your father bring you down just because you do things that you love.

Skippy Joe looks up at his mom.

            SKIPPY JOE

Hmm, what movie should I play today? “Big Bouncing Balls” sounds very delightful.

Skippy Joe’s computer beeps and a naked woman pops up. It says “you got mail”.

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Hello…Dick Mchammer. Welcome to Superporn Magazine my friend.

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Oh, that is quite sensational! Can you send the pictures to me via e-mail?

INT. SKIPPY JOE’S BASEMENT – DAY

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Well, that is splendid news. Well, send me those photographs. But there is only one catch. After I take a look at the pictures, you only have twenty-four hours to give me permission to publish them because of that last scandal you pulled ok? We don’t need any more retired circus midgets trying to knock down our door this time, understand?

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Well, both of us are better men now because of it aren’t we?

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Ok, just remember what I said. E-mail me those photographs and then you MUST respond to my e-mail within twenty-four hours in order for the deal to be effective.

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

What?!

            DICK MCHAMMER (On the phone)

Bye?!

EXT. MARY MACH’S HOUSE – DAY

This house is a very old-fashioned home with a white picket fence in the front yard and a big apple tree in the front yard also. There is a big porch with a swinging chair in front of the house. Many flowers surround the home.

INT. MARY MACH’S FRONT PORCH – DAY

Mary Mach, Rachel Little, Stephanie Heffer and Louise Van Drunken sit on the porch drinking beer and doing shots of whiskey on this sunny day.

            RACHEL LITTLE (Clearly drunk)

Oh…yooouuu…waaanntt…to p-p-plaayy that game….do yaa?

            LOUISE VAN DRUNKEN

Have any of you ladies seen my niece Sue Oinkenberger today? She was supposed to call me today. She is so popular with the guys. They know a winner when they see one.

Louise Van Drunken takes a huge drink off of her beer. Rachel Little itches her crotch.

            STEPHANIE HEFFER

Holy shit! Look at the dupa on that one! Hey honey, how would you like to take a jello bath with me? You’d make my millennium! Buuuurrrrppp!!

The man picks up his speed and puts his head down as he is clearly embarrassed.

            STEPHANIE HEFFER

He can run, but he can’t hide. Hee Hee.

Mary Mach jumps up.

            LOUISE VAN DRUNKEN

No, I think it might be your microwave.

Brrrriiinnnggg. The telephone rings again.

            MARY MACH

Louise, can you go get the phone girlfriend?

            MARY MACH

Damnit Louise. You, dumb bitch. That was twelve years ago.

The telephone call has ended.

            DICK MCHAMMER

Hi Skippy Joe. This is Dick, the editor of SuperPorn magazine. I sent you that e-mail. Remember what I said. If you don’t send that email back to me within twenty-four hours, then those pictures of your co-workers Dave and Red Kneck will not be published. So, hurry up. Hope to see those photos published soon. Talk to ya later Skippy.

Mary Mach walks back onto the porch and sits down. Rachel Little is still passed out on the floor.

            STEPHANIE HEFFER

Who did the person ask for?

            LOUISE VAN DRUNKEN

I’ll say it is!

EXT. EG’S BOX HOME IN THE ALLEY – DAY

The box is made out of cardboard and is not big at all. EG can barely fit into it. It is at the end of the alley and is surrounded by garbage. Tadpole walks up to the box. He looks at the exterior and then peaks his head into the box.

INT. EG’S BOX HOME IN THE ALLEY – DAY

            TADPOLE

Hiiii. Are you alive?

Tadpole throws an M-80 explosive by EG’s ear. EG jumps up suddenly.

            EG

My name is EG. Well. I pretty much never asked anything about your past history. But, ok. How long ago did that happen?

            EG

No. Actually I just moved back into town. I lived here umm…twenty years ago but something happened and I had to leave town right away unfortunately.

EG has a dream sequence of the event that happened twenty years ago.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – DAY

EG is being chased by two men dressed like scientists. They are wearing long white coats. EG is carrying some strange liquid in a clear bottle.

            SCIENTIST #1

Give us back our formula! That liquid is of no use to you!

            SCIENTIST #2

That formula will do more harm than good. Give it back. It will screw up the world if it isn’t in the right person’s hands.

EG continues to run from the scientists. Just then, a dog leaps up and bites EG right in his ass. EG screams and continues to run with the dog attached to his ass.

            SCIENTIST #1

Please, in the name of science. Give us back our potion.

            SCIENTIST #2

We’ll give you the money. Just give it back to us!

EG slows down. There are three little boys playing by a fire hydrant. A dog is also nearby. EG looks at the scientists. Suddenly out of nowhere, a frisbee hits EG right in the groin. EG drops the formula onto the ground. The formula splatters on the three boys and the dog. There are also a couple frogs nearby that some of the formula splattered on them.

            SCIENTIST #2

We must call the paramedics immediately!

            TADPOLE

Oh really? What was that? Why did you have to leave? EG? EG?

            TADPOLE

Why don’t you live in a normal home? Can’t you afford it?

First of all, I don’t pay taxes. I DO NOT give my money away. Especially to those people in the government. I like to save my money. So, I try not to ever spend it. Everything is taxed. It sucks. It’s a bunch of bullshit. The IRS can kiss my ass. Why spend money on all of that shit anyways? I was broke before. I don’t ever want that to happen again. All I know is that I want to find a nice chick to hang out with and she would surely love my home.

            EG

Hell no! Are you nuts? I like the one behind her though.

A brunette weighing approximately four-hundred pounds eating twinkies walks behind the blonde.

            EG

I’d rock her boat.

            EG

What’s that supposed to mean? Are you putting me down?

            EG

Oh, ok. Just wondering.

EXT. DAVE AND BUBBA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

It is a nice day in the neighborhood.

INT. DAVE AND BUBBA’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Dave paces back and forth in the living room. Bubba and William are sitting on the couch in front of the TV.

            BUBBA

Yah Dave. Sit down and relax.

            BUBBA

Then do something about it.

            BUBBA

Gee, that’s a good move. He seems trustworthy. (In a sarcastic tone)

            BUBBA

I couldn’t have said it any better William. How in the hell do you know that this sicko doesn’t have any more elaborate plans like publishing them in a magazine or something?

            BUBBA

Kinda different.

A big fat bearded man named Uncle Donny appears on the television screen.

            BUBBA

Maybe somebody’s beating their meat to your pictures Dave! Ha Ha Ha!

Dave has a pissed off look on his face.

            BUBBA

Salami anyone? Ha Ha Ha.

Dave looks like he is going to kill.

EXT. SUE OINKENBERGER’S TRAILER – NIGHT

The trailer is beat up and old. Weeds grow around the trailer. An old tractor sits in front of the trailer. It looks as though it has not been used in years.

INT. SUE OINKENBERGER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Sue and Glover are lying in bed naked and Glover is smoking a cigarette. Glover gets up and doesn’t say a word. He leaves the bedroom. Moments later we hear the front door slam as he leaves the trailer.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Hello? Oh, hi Aunt Louise? Oh, I’ve been busy going to church and raising money for the homeless. Yah, you know me.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Oh, I had a hot beef injection so I feel much better….ummm….I mean…

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Yah, the flu. I still have gook in my mouth….oh, never mind.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Really? What was that message about?

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Oh Oinkenbergers! I think somebody is going to murder someone!

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

I’ll tell you later. I have to call someone first. Hopefully I can calm him down before he hears this from somebody else.

END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE

EXT. BIG DICK’S NIGHT ENTERTAINMENT – NIGHT

The building is in rough shape. A large neon sign with a large woman bending over, lights up the front of the building. EG and Skippy Joe walk in the front door.

INT. BIG DICK’S NIGHT ENTERTAINMENT – NIGHT

Skippy Joe has a grin from ear to ear as he looks at the beautiful women on stage. A slightly overweight woman is on stage topless. She puts a beaver back in its cage.

            ANNOUNCER

Wow! I can’t say that I’ve seen a beaver give mouth to mouth to another beaver before. That’s a first for me. Next up we have Beautiful Janie Lou. She drives a semi for Sugar Twin Pies during her free time. Her hobbies include bathing with naked elephants and steam rolling pedestrians on the sidewalk with her huge rolls of flab. Give it up for…..Janie….of the jungle!

Two men in the crowd barely clap. An elephant trumpet blares loud on the PA system as she walks out onto the stage.

            SKIPPY JOE

Umm,….yah….

            DAVE

Man! There’s that screwball EG and Skippy Joe. I hope they don’t spot us. I’m in no mood for them.

            EG

Hi pals.

            WAITRESS

Hi Skippy Joe! How’s it going my sweetheart? You haven’t been in here in two nights. Have you been sick or something? All of us girls have missed you. You never miss wet and wild Wednesdays.

            WAITRESS

Oh Skippy Joe! You’re so funny!

Skippy Joe gives her a twenty for a tip and the waitress walks away.

            RED KNECK

No shit! I’m going to cut the nuts off of the freak. Then I’m going to sprinkle salt all over his nuts and stick leeches on them. Then I’m going to throw them in my blender. After I let my blender run for a good twenty to thirty minutes, I’ll pour the remains into a bag full of cement and I’m going to bury the bag in my backyard. I’ll make sure he never gets his balls back again.

            RED KNECK

Well boys. I have to get going. I’m going to sit on my front porch with my shotgun waiting for the pervert. Give me a call if you hear anything about his whereabouts.

            RED KNECK

Just make sure you keep him alive long enough to let me take some shots on him.

Skippy Joe is noticeably nervous.

            DAVE

Yah. I’m sure he’s a former nobel peace prize winner. All I know is he’s dead as soon as I catch him.

A big man dressed in a dick costume walks up and is noticeably drunk.

            BUBBA

Sure, what do you have?

            SKIPPY JOE

It’s spectacular. Take my word on this one.

            BUBBA

William says that he loves chicken noodle soup. Sure. Pour us all a shot.

Dick pulls out five shot glasses from his back pocket and starts bending down.

            DICK

I’m pouring you..hiccup…your shots…hiccup.

Dick continues and pours the shots out of his penis head and into the glasses. Skippy Joe doesn’t hesitate. He grabs a glass and throws down a shot down his throat. He has a chicken noodle dripping from his chin.

            DAVE

Great. Now I’m slamming noodles from a guy dressed in a penis costume. My life has gone to shit.

Two young strippers walk up to the table.

            STRIPPER #1

Oh, by the way. I have those pictures for you. Five hundred dollars a piece now ok?

            EG

I would stay and listen to your boys problems, but I have a hottie to attend to.

EG looks up at the stage. There is a huge four-hundred pound woman dancing. EG takes a shot and walks towards the stage.

            RED KNECK

Damnit Mr. Bubbles! That’s your fifth cigarette in the past twenty minutes. You gotta cut down or get a damn job. I’m sick of this free-loading bullshit. I bust my ass everyday at that plant while you sit here all-day smoking cigarettes and watching that damn Oprah. Can’t you do something productive with your time, like cleaning this fucken house?

Mr. Bubbles looks up and cuts a major fart. A green bubble comes out of his ass and floats towards the ceiling fan.

            RED KNECK (ON THE PHONE)

Hello? What the fuck do you want Veronica? No, you can’t have my damn bar-b-que. I bought it before we ever met. And besides that, my wife before I married you, just won it in last month’s court judgment. I can’t help it if I was married to that dumb bitch before I was married to your homely little ass. Yah….I’m a loser. Thank god you remind me. I almost forgot.

Red Kneck hangs up the phone. Red Kneck starts walking towards the living room.

            RED KNECK

That’s it. I’m telling that wicked witch off this time.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Hello Red?

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

It’s me Sue. Why are you so crabby?

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Well, I hate to make your mood even worse. I have horrible news.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

No.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Now Red don’t get carried away. There may just be some sort of misunderstanding. You fellas just need to sit down and talk things out. I’m sure there’s some logical explanation for all of this.

            SUE OINKENBERGER (ON THE PHONE)

Now, now Red just take a min..

Red Kneck hangs up the phone. He dials Dave’s number up.

            DAVE (ON THE PHONE)

Did you find out who mr. pervert is?

            RED KNECK

So anyways, William. We need to use your computer to hack that email to make sure that Skippy Joe doesn’t approve those pictures to get published. If he hasn’t done that already.

            RED KNECK

Just hold your horses Dave. First we need to stop that email, then we need to find out who was taking those pictures for that freak.

            WILLIAM (YELLING TO HIS MOTHER)

Buuurrrpppp! Thwackk. Beeelllcchhh!!!

There is an uncomfortable silence. Red Kneck and Dave look at each other in shock.

            DAVE

Here is his email! We got him!

William clicks on Skippy Joe’s name. The guys watch in amazement as tons of porn of women, men, circus animals, and sex toys dance across the computer screen. Big letters appear on the screen saying “Welcome to Skippy Joe’s email. Porn music plays in the speakers.

            DAVE

This is completely fucked up. He’s kind of the king of perverts. And what the hell was up with that circus chimp, cheetah and that vibrating razor? Is that legal?

            RED KNECK

Yah that dancing clam swallowing the hot dog wasn’t expected either.

Porn music continues to play through the speakers. A young woman's voice says “Oh Skippy! Pour that peanut butter on me! Oh Skippy! You’re the man!”

            WILLIAM

Beelllcchhh!!!

William clicks the mouse.

            DAVE

Fuck yah we do!

            EMPLOYEE #1

Yep, nothing beats good old peanut butter. We should make some sort of peanut butter dinner at the plant ya know?

            SKIPPY JOE

Ummm. What’s the matter David?

Red Kneck pulls up on his fork lift next to the press. The heavy press stamps automatically every five seconds.

            SKIPPY JOE

What do you mean good old buddy?

Dave grabs Skippy Joe by the head. His head is near the stamping press.

            SKIPPY JOE

I’m so sorry. I never meant any harm.

            SKIPPY JOE

I found them in Red Kneck’s dresser drawer.

Dave looks at Red Kneck.

            DAVE

Tell me the truth right fucken now!

Skippy Joe hesitates. His head moves closer to the stamping press.

            DAVE

I should have known.

Red Kneck uses the forks of his forklift and the forks lift Skippy Joe up by his groin. The forks lift him up in the air and Red Kneck drops him into the orange jello bin. Employees surrounding the incident applaud.

            EMPLOYEE #4

Yay for Dave and Red Kneck! That bastard made my wife leave me because she saw pictures of me that he took and she left me thinking that I messed around!

EXT. DURNKVILLE FOOTBALL STADIUM – DAY

Thousands of people rush out of the stadium. Children hold their parents hands as they go through the exit gates.

            DAVE

I can’t wait to crush someone's skull.

            DAVE (MUMBLING)

Little fucken dick….

Bubba turns on the showers.

            DAVE

I got you, you little fucker! I’m gonna kick your little boy ass!

Dave throws EG up against the wall.

            BUBBA

Like that’s a reason to do what you did? That’s fucked up!

            BUBBA

Don’t tell me to shut up!

            DAVE

This is bull shit! I get to kick his ass first! Give him to me! He’s mine!

            EG

Shhhhuuuutttt uppp and fuck you!

            RED KNECK

Ok. For the last time. Who is the most kick-ass person in this room?

            BUBBA

Are you trying to say that I’m not the most kick-ass person here?

            BUBBA

What!!

Bubba flushes the toilet. EG’s head goes under water and he is given a swirlie.

            EG (CRYING)

Bubba is. Wait. No. Red Kneck. Ummm…

Red Kneck flushes the toilet and EG again gets drenched in the toilet.

            EG (CRYING)

That ain’t fucken fair! I can’t even tell what mr. burps even said!

EG is again drenched in the toilet. The characters laugh.

END OF ACT FOUR

THE END

SYNOPSIS:

A cast of unusual characters that work in a TV Dinner manufacturing plant. EG (Which are actually brothers E being the head, and G the body) are the main characters who are actually thousands of years old and have many bad traits, including lying about historical events that they had been to and have very unlikeable personalities. Other characters who work at the TV Dinner plant have become mutants because of EG’s negligence when they tripped and spilt a vial that was stolen from a government lab, into Durnkville’s drinking water. Some employees turned into talking animals, others extremely strong, and some brilliant but crazy.

This cast of characters and their clashing personalities put them in some wacked out and unique positions each episode. A dumpster behind a party store was found to have a portal that leads to the 10th dimension and the characters occasionally travel to this strange and dangerous realm to make their lives even more interesting.

I WANT YOUR PHOTOGRAPH