In a WWIII parallel universe of sexual warfare, a hell flaming drill sergeant Drast trains his elite US forces to remain the most powerful FUCKERS in the world. Alas, a giddy gay German allied with the world and his army of Drag Queens; try to destroy him.

SYNOPSIS:

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bANAL is my feature comedy satire. It's a mix of Spaceballs and Rocky Horror OR a John Waters Police Academy. There's nothin like it!!! ENJOY <3

SHORT SYNOPSIS: In a parallel universe, WWIII has begun... Except weaponry here has evolved a little bit differently. In this self indulgent sexscape of a reality, seduction and sex are the weapons of mass and ass destruction. Military special ops are a myriad of fetish funk and kink. From Cunning Linguists, Pretty Boys and Lips n' Ass to Middle Age Divorcees, Lezbonics and Cougars... What are the rules of engagement? What is your favorite position, I mean weapon? What special ops unit will you be assigned to? Let’s find out! Drast, a sinister drill sergeant leads the US against a sweet German General, his army of drag queens and the entire allied world. Buckle up and wrap it up to find out who will be the most powerful FUCKERS in the world!!! Warning- your ass might explode if you see this movie, where life is weirder and war is dumber than ever, per usual.

LONG SYNOPSIS:

On this alternate Earth, warfare has evolved by way of sex and seduction instead of guns and ammo. The name of the game is to get your enemy to climax first, triggering their chip device, then kaboom! Their ass explodes and the victor becomes the most powerful FUCKER in the world!

You’re not anybody unless you join the war effort! Especially in the USA! USA! USA!!! For the honor and the glory hole, USA! The entire allied world stands against the US, finally. They’ve had it with the US’s insatiable greed and lust for power. They’re on course to destroy the world and life as we know it. Soldiers worldwide achieve the CHIP after surviving basic training. If a soldier is stimulated to that most magical sweet spot? The inserted CHIP causes an electro-physiological trigger at climax and then, you’re FUCKED… dead…

We’re off to basic training where we meet DRAST-the flaming queen hoard, Ursula sea witch drill sergeant we’ve all been longing for since Full Metal Jacket. He rules with a black patent leather whip, and an outfit to match. His wing woman Pantera is a Grace Jones warrior goddess, and his robot slave LGBT3PO- always at the ready. He abuses his recruits into soldiers as they learn military grade sexual prowess. Recruits are trained for their assigned Special Op Forces including Lezbonics, Cunning Linguists, Middle Aged Divorcees, Lips and Ass, Pretty Boys, Dicks of Death, Cougars and many many more FUCKERS extraordinaire!!! Drast trains his soldiers for victory, power and especially revenge.... because of his old flame Delilah and a violent battle they barely survived in Calcutta, back in the day.

The first battle unfolds revealing the enemy foe GG, a giddy gay German General with his personal army of Drag Queens and entire world of allied forces… GG’s right hand DQ is Delilah, yes, Drast's X... the most fierce, beautiful and talented of them all. The battle plays out against USA’s forces in an Ibiza night club. HQ for USA is run by the elite force-Middle Aged Divorcees or MAD, because these bitches ain't gonna fuck nobody. They’ve had it with sex and seduction, so they run the show. Drast and Pantera place their fantasy football like bets on favorite recruits and cheer from the comfort of his living room.

The US gets their asses tore up at this freak show of sexual horrors. It is a total annihilation and humiliation. MAD headquarters has to tuck tail and call in the big dick guns. DRAST is promoted to General because the entire world is invading in less than 48hrs and he is the ONE. The amperage building is outrageous. The allied world descends on the US by way of secret trucker code, giant seaplane and cruise ships. Drast cries out in one final warcry to the frenzied brainwashed US masses, “Pledge allegiance to this fag, motherfuckers!!!!” And then leads troops to the nearest cruise ship party port to show Delilah and GG his weapon of ass destruction.

Drast is up to something though. He secretly enlisted Peace de Resistance double agents to sacrifice himself and hand victory over to Delilah. So he could take credit in saving the world... From himself... So Drast...

Drast and Delilah battle royale and perform the most beautiful, sexy, killer fucking tango you will ever see in your life. With a final climactic lift, and Drast’s valiant magical sacrifice- Delilah delivers the final blow. US surrenders and GG orders all chips to be safely removed. This world is restored to peace, harmony and free love for all. Except for one poor forgotten Cunning Linguist soldier. He’s bravely fought(giving cunnilingus) for days and his face looks like it’s gotten steamrolled. He accidentally targeted a foreign civilian the entire movie… Poor guy!

ENVISIONED ENSEMBLE CAST

DRAST-Billy Porter/Sacha Baron Cohen/Dan Levy/Neil Patrick Harris, Delilah-Laverne Cox, German General-Christoph Waltz/Sacha Baron Cohen, PANTERA-Zendaya, SEXY INDIAN-Kumail Nanjiani, LEZBONICS RECRUIT-Megan Rapinoe, CUNNING LINGUIST RECRUIT-Trae Crowder, CUNNING LINGUIST SERGEANT-Jack Black, POTUS-Kim Kardashian, MAIN MAD BITCH-Julia Louis-Dreyfus, MAD RECRUIT-Wanda Sykes, PRETTY BOY-Colton Haynes, LIPS AND ASS RECRUIT-Rebel Wilson, LIPS AND ASS SERGEANT-Lizzo, PEACE DE RESISTANCE WINONA-Winona Ryder, PEACE DE RESISTANCE SOLDIER-Russell Brand, COUGAR-Ellen Barkin, RECRUIT BONE SPURS-Alec Baldwin, RECRUIT CORN POP-Jim Carrey

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and have a wonderful laughter filled day!

BANAL