Aw thanks Matthew Parvin ! I just decided to write this on the treadmill earlier today - It's so exciting when the inspiration hits!

sounds interesting, but your logline is too long. Try to condense it a little.

Thanks Tristan Hutchinson ! I appreciate the feedback. Usually people rate without explanation. That's helpful!

Thanks Kevin Johnson Tasha Lewis Stephen Campbell - I appreciate the feedback!

Your welcome Lisa Marie.

Nate Rymer Kevin Johnson Tristan Hutchinson Tasha Lewis Matthew Parvin Stephen Campbell - I just updated the logline and added a synopsis. Would love if you could take another look, and not only rate - but offer feedback and guidance if you have time. Thanks so much!

Lisa Marie A lot happening in the three acts. Read it out loud a few times to see how smooth the transition from each act is. Try to ensure that the character changes are smoother and not confusing. You may need to adjust it grammatically and then realign it.

Example

My method of communication is to work on subject verb agreement and complete line editing and copy editing at a different pace.

Versus

My method of communication is to work on subject verb agreement.

Complete line editing and copy editing at a different pace.

Shorter but clearer.

I hope that helps.

I think I understand - and edited again. Thanks so much Tasha Lewis !

Excellent! I hope you didn’t mind me wearing my Professor hat today. Lisa Marie. Happy to serve!

Tasha Lewis never! That’s what we’re here for right? To help each other. I’m very grateful!

Logline is much better.

Thanks Tristan Hutchinson - I just changed it again!

Thank you Ishta!