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When her father’s research vessel mysteriously reappears in deep space, a brilliant young physicist forms a team to investigate the ship and rescue him, upon boarding the ship they are confronted by a seven foot tall winged humanoid that claims to be the last living angel.
SYNOPSIS:
Set in the future, Doctor Kaitlyn Chambers receives word that her thought to be dead, dad has reappeared on a research vessel in deep space. Kaitlyn forms a team and together they investigate the mysterious ship. Kaitlyns scientific faith is put to the test as they encounter an entity aboard the ship named Abba, a seven foot winged humanoid that claims to be the last living Angel.
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Sounds interesting, Ryan Avery! You’re close to a solid logline. I have a few notes/suggestions:
Change “fathers” to “father’s.”
Remove “Kaitlyn.”
Change “must form” to “forms.”
It says “forms a team and together they investigate the mysterious ship.” in your synopsis. I suggest adding that to the logline.
Add the obstacle at the end of the logline to make it more exciting. It says “as they encounter an entity aboard the ship named Abba, a seven foot winged humanoid” in the synopsis. I suggest adding that at the end of the logline.
Here's a logline suggestion: When her father’s research vessel mysteriously reappears in deep space, a brilliant young physicist forms a team to investigate the ship and rescue him, encountering a seven-foot winged humanoid that wants to destroy them.
The last part of my logline suggestion might not match up with your story.
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