Anything Goes : Here's my log line by Chris Norby

is that a log line?

yeah

Hi Chris, where are you based. I'm in Scotland and a log line is quiet long, depending on the piece you worked at. I worked on a sitcom and for one 25 minutes episode the log line is around 4 pages.

Oh I was told that it's a sentence that describe the script and I'm American small town guy

What IS the classic heaven vs. hell? What's at stake? Who's your protagonist?

well the bad guy are a couple of demons named crash and Reaper and of course the souls of earth is the prize hell is after so that they can mass an army big enough to attack heaven

Like the idea, just that 'Heaven is invincible.'

Yeah I wanted to bend the rules a bit

I don't think your log line tells us enough about the film. Haven't got a clue where the notion that a log line is four pages long. It isn't. One short sentence that says enough that they want to know more. Look at it this way you meet a top producer in a lift. You now have 10 seconds to deliver your log line. One chance and if you Get it right they'll want to know more about your film. Get it wrong and they'll avoid getting in the lift with you next time.

Hi Chris... I'm afraid your log line is not long enough and doesn't explain the actual story.. a log line is what could be the difference between a producer taking your work on or not and I'm afraid this wouldn't be good enough at all. You have to tell the full story, beginning, middle and end in around 30 words or less, including who the main protagonist and (if there is one) who the antagonist is too. Think of it as your main selling point - producers will more than likely read the log line before anything else, and they have to be hooked in straight away, your log line has to make them want to read more.

Ok well here it is then. the film is called Rex. in the town of Ridgeland a secret battle is raged between Rex and the lethal Hell agents Reaper and Crash. they battle for an ancient relic that'll give Hell the power to take over the universe.

I agree to Michael and Rosalind. You have to tell your story without telling to much and make the reader curious about your story. A good advice for me was to use more adjectives. Well, I would leave out 'the town of Ridgeland', add some adjectives for Rex and the others and make clear who battles for what. Then you probably will have it.

in a friendly little town, a secret war rages between a spunky team of hero's and a team of terroristic villains for a weapon that could decide the fate of the universe

Cool. I think this is a much better version of your logline compared to your first idea.

thanks I was just adding some new scenes to it