Screenwriting : solving Dialog as a crutch by Daniel Morris

You could use visuals instead of dialogue, Daniel Morris. Example. Instead of having a character say he was a college basketball player, you could show him cleaning out his attic and finding a box of old college basketball gear.

"how much scene description and notes is too much?" I used to tell every detail when writing scene descriptions and action lines, but I learned I don't need to write every detail. Example: "Tom runs through the room to the front door. He takes keys out his pocket and unlocks the door. He looks over his shoulder, checking if anyone's chasing him. He opens the door and runs out the house." It's better to write this instead: "Tom beelines to the front door and unlocks it. He checks if anyone's chasing him, then flees the house."

Stage 32 recently had a webinar that'll help. You can watch it on demand. It's called "How To Write Descriptions In Your Screenplays For Maximum Effect" (www.stage32.com/webinars/How-To-Write-Descriptions-In-Your-Screenplays-F...). One of the things Spencer Robinson talks about in the webinar is "Understanding action in a Visual Medium."

Kinda think I'm focusing on the forest to the exclusion of the trees, and that my be my problem.

Describe only relevant information and only what is seen on screen. Briefly describe the action as it is happening in the present tense. Keep descriptions under 3 lines and 4 lines at the most. Don’t describe every single detail in the scene. Paint the scene with broad strokes. Avoid describing the character’s every movement. Keep a single event within one description. When the action changes then you should start a new paragraph.

Don’t write what a character is thinking. If you want the audience to know you need to write the physical manifestation of their emotions so they can see what is going on in the character’s mind. it is good to show the action before A character speaks whenever possible. The reader may subconsciously anticipate who will be talking next and make your screenplay flow better.

Could you provide one example, Daniel Morris?

Daniel, I wouldn't overthink it or let let reviews get you down. So many people are quick to criticize writing styles or state rules that have to be followed, yet don't actually earn any money doing said craft. Just do your thing and rock it out!

"Avoid describing the character's every movement" is my number 1. You know two paragraphs in max.

I wouldn't say it's a rule. Even as a rooky, after reading hundreds of screenplays you simply know. This is also applicable in writing novels and in simple 'one on one' speech.

The funny part is that writers who make this mistake themselves stop reading screenplays containing this sin...after two paragraphs.

But still, in action movies you DO describe (almost) every movement, but only experienced writers can pull that off in a good way. Would love there being a seminar solely on that art form, and me having enough money to attend it -- haha

Daniel Morris Hi Daniel, yes, writing is about words, but it’s the words that you use that are important. Whilst yes, the cinematographer’s role is to visualise the story, you need to play a part in this process. You need to be able to see what’s happening on the screen and to describe that to the reader.

It also may be a sign that there’s too much exposition on the page and not enough action. Could that be what they’re getting at?

Tom Hanks said “I prefer to act rather than recite speeches”. Dialogue is important, but my wife can land a fatal blow with a look.

Some could say, “I am sick of this, we have had this same argument a hundred times.”

Or

Craig sighs and slumps.

The more actors I meet, the less dialogue I write.

The first thing that's worth noting with any conversation like this is that there is significant objective proof that the proportional amount of dialogue in a film has no bearing on its legitimacy or popularity. The only provable factor this logic applies to is that movies for general audiences tend to have less dialogue than movies for niche audiences - but again, not always. Films like Reservoir Dogs, Phonebox, and Buried have proven that movie goers will more than happily sit through films that could have just as easily been stageplays, while classics such as Mad Max 2 have shown how, given the right setting, protagonists can say very little and still be strong, multi-faceted characters.

Any critic or consultant who states a script has too much dialogue is applying their own subjective preferences as if objective, and they are doing so dogmatically. People like that should be avoided when it comes to feedback, but their notes should be reflected on for other reasons.

It seems a little crazy to state this, but we tend to lose focus all the time when it comes to introspection, but a script needs to be entertaining, and understanding what makes something entertaining is key.

Dialogue requires significantly more concentration and mental processing from the audience than visual stimulation. Therefore, the pay off for processing what characters are saying has to be worth the investment.

As ever, the best ways to entertain people are via puzzles and emotion. That's what good, dramatic dialogue should be doing. It should be laced with subtext, driving plot, building character, heightening conflict, bring structure to scenes, and be hitting the audience with doses of tension, humour, release, fear, sadness, and more.

A note complaining about too much talking is often a note that the dialogue simply isn't engaging to the reader. That needs to be addressed. However, it's also worth noting that a reader who's struggling through script will typically disengage with the dialogue before anything else because it takes a lot more effort to read through.

I have an article on writing better dialogue which can be read here.

Some also worth pointing out here, because it typically gets referenced, is that "show, don't tell" has nothing to do with dialogue vs action. That's all about a wider view of exposition and how very little in a story should be laid bare to the audience for fear they'll become bored.

I'd also like to note, upon reflection, I may not 'know' enough about the characters, and that leads to just words on a page, also, my focus is more to the story and less to the characters, ie the characters are there to fill a void that make the story possible, I am, perhaps elementary or sophomoric trying to sound like a graduate. More practice is needed as well as an understanding of myself. thanks all for the valuable advice and words, I will endeavor to incorporate all that I can

Daniel Morris , I struggle sometimes with this too. I think you've got to imagine your characters as people you are hanging out with, and that will cut some of the extra dialogue.

I was warned against "directing from the page" by adding camera shots to my screenplays, so plot, action and dialogue pretty much have to carry things. Sometimes I still include shots if I feel they're really important, but I'm trying to cut down....

Not sure whether you're talking about television or movies. The best thing you can do is read GOOD/GREAT scripts. And don't stop. As writers we write two versions -- a version to sell or be read -- and then a shooting script.