I'm writing a short film, and in it there is a phone conversation between a brother and a sister. Each time each character speaks, the camera will be on that speaker. My question is: what is the correct format for the dialogue in this situation? Below is a sample of what I've written. Is this correct, or do I explain in the screen direction how it will be filmed? As it is now, there's a new scene heading for every dialogue change, but really it's just one scene with each person being on camera when they speak. Since I am also directing and co-producing, I don't have to worry about putting in unnecessary screen direction, as I am the one who makes those decisions as well. Sample: INT. CODY’S CAR - CONTINUOUS Cody dials a number. The phone rings. INT. COFFEE SHOP - CONTINUOUS Amber is working on her laptop. Her cell rings. She answers it. AMBER Hey Cody! What’s up? INT. CODY’S CAR - CONTINUOUS CODY Have you heard about Grandma? INT. COFFEE SHOP - CONTINUOUS AMBER No. What happened?
Since you are directing and producing this is exactly they way you should write it.
Like this? ("Intercut" is all the way to the right of the screen. Formatting isn't preserved when I past here, and I can't post a screen grab into the comment): AMBER Oh no! Are you leaving work now? INTERCUT: CODY Yeah. That’s another story. INTERCUT: AMBER What do you mean? INTERCUT: CODY I just found out I’m getting laid off. INTERCUT: AMBER Oh. That’s not good!
oh good I was just looking around for samples of phone conversation. I haven't seen intercut like this before though.
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One INTERCUT will suffice. E.g.: AMBER (on phone) Oh no! Are you leaving work now? INTERCUT between Amber and Cody, who waits at a bus stop: CODY Yeah. That’s another story. AMBER What do you mean? CODY I just found out I’m getting laid off. AMBER Oh. That’s not good!
What Shelly said. Use intercut once.
Agree wth Lisa, Trotter is invaluable for formatting advice.
Thanks all! I do have Trotter's Screenwriters Bible- I hadn't thought to look in there. My question seemed so random that I wasn't sure it would be easily found. A Google search turned up nothing, so I decided to ask my Stage 32 community. You all came through like rock stars!
Well sometimes it's hard to remember what movies you saw such inconsequential scenes in. If David Trottier's book is full of formatting then I might have to invest in one later this year. Well just checked it online in Amazon and it's much cheaper than i thought it would be. Think I'll buy it next week.
If you're producing this yourself, D. Marcus is right -- you're moving toward a shooting script for your own use so you want those technical details spelled out. If you were writing a spec script, readability is the driver. While Trotter and others urge the use of INTERCUT, more seasoned screenwriters often just say something like: We go back and forth between their apartments, or something similar, with the phone conversation presented as dialogue so readers don't have to plow through the other stuff. Shelley (above) has a good example still using INTERCUT.
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The Screenwriters Bible is a good source for most questions about scrreenwriting, including formatting. I us it and I am getting very positive feedback from producers and directors about my writing.
I've got an older edition (green) of said bible, for cheap, if someone's interested.
Here's what I did: INT. CODY’S CAR - CONTINUOUS Cody dials a number. INTERCUT between Cody and Amber, who is working on her laptop at a coffee shop. Her cell rings. She answers it. AMBER Hey brother! What’s up? CODY Have you heard about Grandma?
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You could also write it: INT. CODY'S CAR - DAY - TRAVELING Cody places a call. INT. COFFEE SHOP -- INTERCUT Amber, working on her laptop, answers. AMBER Hello. CODY It's me. The goal is to make the read as quick as possible. Continuous can still be used, but sparingly. Like when a person steps from one room to another in real time.
Since you are the writer-director; write it however best suites you. I have a similar scene going right now and I am going to play with an old film technique; shoot it on a split screen.