Screenwriting : Where to start when writing a second draft? by Hunter Vogt

I have two cents to offer here. First, go back and cut out any unnecessary swearing or use of profanity. Replace it with something meaningful that tells us something vital about the character. Please note, I did say "unnecessary swearing". Profanity has a place, but I found, in my own writing, that I tended to overuse curse words to have an easy way of achieving a sense of drama or urgency or grit. Always avoid these types of easy outs. Curse words should ring out like a gunshot when you use them. The next thing is eliminating any other easy outs. When we write anything in the first draft, we put in a lot of shortcuts (e.g., those dreaded clichés in language, plot, and character). The first draft accomplishes the plot in an orderly manner. There are a lot of dots to connect, and we need to get from point A to point Z to tell the story. The second draft is where you get to add the artfulness and eliminate anything hum-drum average that you used as a type of shorthand so you could accomplish the plot. This is where you work to make sure that each character has a distinctive voice. This is where you use tools like action stacking (ref and thanks to Trottier's "Screenwriter's Bible") to make your descriptive passages sing enough that a weary gatekeeper keeps reading your script after rejecting dozens of others that day alone. Another important goal for the second draft is to make the story something organic and human. As I mentioned, you will find that most of the scenes in your first draft point like an arrow to the conclusion of the story. Dialogue and actions all drive the story forward toward the point where the overall plot has been achieved. However, this focus on accomplishing the plot can lead to a story that doesn't really appeal to a human audience member. People love character and they love stories that keep them guessing. I think one of the biggest goals of the second rewrite is to make sure the story has enough distractions, diversions, and outright lies that it stays very entertaining while also accomplishing its plot.

I use the first draft to learn the story and the characters. The first page you wrote is going to be worse than the last page you wrote. You are just improving as we all do with practice. I go through and make sure characters are consistent to themselves and that they are believable in the story being told. I then go to each scene/sequence and write down what it was meant to achieve "Am I repeating myself", if two bits do the same thing I remove one. I then cut out all the protagonist and see how the story looks, can I give the antagonist more to do, and therefore more for the protagonist to deal with. Then dialogue, then action, then transitions then more of everything above. Just my process. Plus I make sure there is a single word theme, mostly for my own peace of mind. Example "sacrifice", "loss", "grief"

Thank you both Mike and Craig for your helpful advice! I feel like I have an idea of how to write my second draft now.

Hunter: First off, congrats on finishing your first draft sitcom. If you have Final Draft, use the read aloud option and let it read your teleplay through. The first thing should be listening to dialogue and narrative to really determine what is value added and then start editing it. From there, look at all the scenes to examine if they're necessary in moving the story forward. If not, I'd lose them. Then really examine if your characters have distinctive voices. And you might want to have a few people read your script to determine what they like and don't like.

Thank you Phillip and Peter! Peter, how many scenes should there be in each act? Currently all of my acts (one, two, and three) are around the same length, only varying by about a page or a page and a half at most in length.

Hunter: The beauty of the script writing universe is there is a ton of information online for pretty much every question you might have about the mechanics of writing screenplays. This allows you to sift through a lot of information that will best serve your sitcom artistically and commercially. Here are some links you might find useful in answering your question. And I'd just like consulting a doctor, I suggest getting a few different opinions. https://blcklst.com/help/tv_script_standards.pdf http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/12/cracking-the-si... http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/boards/showthread.php?t=55699 http://classroom.synonym.com/write-30minute-sitcom-script-4195.html

Two books I found helpful for any kind of rewriting are: The Short Screenplay by Dan Gurskis Rewrite by Paul Chitlin They are short, to the point, and very useful. I still refer to them.

Some writers plan, some don't, but all re-write... so have a look at the links Phillip put up and maybe something like https://yourscreenplaysucks.wordpress.com/7-deadly-sins-of-writing/ for nuts and bolts things to look out for.

Thank you Peter, Phillip, Mark, and Anthony!