Screenwriting : Pitch passed, but why? by Kim Elverding

Hey Kim I've been there. Quite a few times. I think a lot of the time execs look for an excuse any excuse to not request and read the script and this might be one such case. I've literally done hundreds of pitches and compiled a database of them so I know who not to pitch again. Additionally and I can tell you this 100% as I've met an exec who has and continues to review pitches here there is the money aspect. They get paid. And as this exec told me - "It's a bit of holiday money for me." That's the negative stuff out the way. The positive are your scores and you should be very proud of them and take huge confidence from it. Remember this is a very subjective industry and I've had industry pros tell me a script sucks but others that it's wonderful and refreshing. You learn through experience it's just a shame that we have to pay for that experience and dust ourselves down so often.

Sounds like you have your reason. A hard read is never good. Sounds like the actual writing in the script needs work, if story and pitch were rated so highly. Congrats on the high scores! From where?

Kim - congrats on getting such high scores from someone in the industry. I think it's pretty clear that they thought your story idea was top-notch, but it wasn't exactly what they were looking for. You should still feel very encouraged about your concept, and hopefully your script and writing is as equally competent and marketable as the concept and pitch. You should consider putting your work on Inktip and the Blacklist, and also entering it in contests. Congrats again, and good luck!

Only occasionally will a Pass come with an explanation, but frankly, when it does, you can't put much stock into what you're told anyway. "We LOVED this, it just doesn't fit in our current development slate." Okay... did they REALLY love it? You'll never know. They're producers... they're always positive, and if what they say happens to comport with the truth, it's purely coincidental. You will pitch a thousand times to get read a hundred times. And you'll have to get read a hundred times in order to make an option or a sale or get representation. But if you're getting high marks, that's a start. Keep plugging away!

You should really read this article: http://goodinaroom.com/blog/lie-most-frequently-told-in-hollywood/?utm_s...

The guy tells you «Hard to read, but thought provoking» and you ask? Well there is something in there that was thought-provoking, person is not there to b-s you. Find it and work it.

Just a guess - I would interpret that to mean that the execution was very good and/or the dilemma you're presenting is indeed "thought-provoking." But that's not enough for this exec to take on the project because the concept/story is not one that he/she could sell to a financier with relative ease. As people, we might like/love some stories - and in this case, he/she might have loved your story; but as execs, we don't see a clear path toward getting every project made. And if you don't see yourself being able to get it made, then what choice do you have but to pass? You might go shopping for furniture, you might see a sofa that you love, but it might not fit in your house. So you have to pass on buying it. Aesthetically, the sofa is a 5 out of 5, but it just doesn't fit in your house. You have to pass.

Hi all, thank you for the replies. After reading all of it (especially the article about most frequent lies) I read the notes again. Tried to read between the lines. I think what he is saying is that there is too little details in the pitch. He liked the story, but found it too high level. Combined with a hard subject matter, it may be the reason why he passed. So I'll rewrite my pitch and try again :) Thanks again guys!

Maybe your idea is intelligent and original. No one in Hollywood wants that. People who produce garbage pass on my screenplays, and they offer feedback that shows they don't even understand the genre of my scripts.

Kim: You got some great advice here, from people inside the industry. I do have a question, if you don't mind? What did he mean by, "hard to read?" You think is because of the subject matter? Or he said it? and what about the subject matter? Too graphic, disturbing, violent, NC 17??? Vague, vague, vague. You or him? Or you just rather not share anything else besides what you wrote on your op? I respect that. Don't know if you read a Stage 32 share content I posted yesterday in the screenwriting lounge, where HBO Exec Chris Salvaterra offers perspective on the business ($$$ like Dan MaxXx cites) side of Screenwriting. It's a lengthy, but very detailed article from the people of ScriptMag.com . Below is a link. Hope is encourages you and educates you as well. It did for me. Keep writing. http://www.scriptmag.com/features/hbo-chris-salvattera-business-of-scree...

I've meant to come back to this thread. I wrote an initial comment above. The OP says, "It is a hard subject matter and he did mention that in his feedback. 'Hard to read, but thought provoking.' Could that be a reason?" To put it more finely, I would interpret the situation as follows. The exec felt the story was a 5 out of 5. "Hard to read" means heartbreaking, sorrowful, or similar. For example, if you pitched a story about a mom who loses her daughter to cancer, or a teenager who is raped and beaten, those could be described as "hard to read, but thought-provoking." The story was strong and well told. However, the exec didn't see the path toward commercial success, and therefore, had to pass. Perhaps you could alter the pitch and the story to be more uplifting and less heartbreaking. Which would hopefully make it more likely to attract ticket-buyers. Just an example based on a little context.

Sorry for the late reply! It is indeed like Regina says. My main character is a pedophile and time and time again that proves to be a challenge. But I bought some development notes (different exec) and got some great feedback! Compliments for me as a writer, but called the subject matter a "possible PR nightmare". He gave me some great advice on how to make it more sellable without losing its essence. And so I'm rewriting it for seventh time :) Thanks!

This is obviously a very radical response, though it's not meant to be flippant... If your goal is to write a great, dark writing sample (i.e. a calling card for future paid work), then you can stick with a (likely) un-redeemable protagonist. Tough scripts can be very effective writing samples. However, if your goal is to increase your chances at getting a movie made, you may want to consider the radical idea of using a different protag. For example, in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, Clarice is the protag, while Lecter is an ally/antagonist, and Buffalo Bill is the villain. That said, it's impossible to predict which scripts will get produced, so you can stick to your guns if that feels right to you. All are valid paths! So do what feels right and makes you happy.

It's very simple. Hollywood has completely lost the ability to sell anything different, therefore they are unlikely to buy a script that is challenging in any way. Look at the movies being released. Do you see any with fresh ideas or ones that are daring? No one is looking for anything creative, because all they know how to sell to the public is the same garbage. How far do you think an incredible script like Taxi Driver would get in today's recycle climate?

I'm not willing to give up the protagonist to sell the story. Without him, it's just one in a dozen stories. It's a cute story and if Hollywood can't handle it, I'll turn it into a book. But not giving up yet. UK based production company showed some interest. To have more chance of breaking into the industry I am working on another scrip, but am not as involved in it yet as in this one.

Follow your instincts, your heart, Kim. If not here, with the amazing Execs, somewhere else, your story will find a champion.like you said even in as a novel. There's always going to be someone with an an ambiguous opinion as to why, "thanks but we're gonna passed." It's the nature of this beast. I'm still waiting for the movie premiere of any of Screenwriters here, who have pitched here on S32, but then again we must not lose hope, because that's not the only reason we're here and there are other great things happening in and around Stage 32. HOPE never quits. Keep writing, always.

One things: You don't want "thought provoking" you want "emotion provoking".