Screenwriting : Share the character description(s) you're most proud of! by Lewis Martin Soucy

Why steal from each other?

Hi, Christoph! Well, it turns out that creative people constantly do it. It’s a natural part of the creative process.

This isn’t about copying (and it’s definitely not about plagiarism). It’s about taking inspiration from other people’s work, reinterpreting it and filtering it through your own experiences to create unique expressions. It’s about adaptation and evolution, rather than reproduction or duplication.

Mark Twain once said:

“There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn, and they make new and curious combinations.”

What Twain’s saying here is that artistic expression is a continuum that builds on itself. The work of newer artists leans heavily on the expressions of previous artists.

No one designs in a vacuum. When we’re creating, we build upon our experiences, including the work of designers that came before, as well as everything that we learn, see, do and interact with.

Often as creatives, we feel embarrassed or guilty for using something as our inspiration. But taking inspiration from what’s come before us is a natural part of the creative process – and a great compliment to the work we’re using as our muse.

Our original work is a mash-up of all the inputs we’ve accumulated throughout our lives, both actively and passively. Accepting this throws open the door for more efficient stealing and more effective design.

So, the question you should ask yourself, Christoph, isn’t, “why should I steal?” but instead, “how should I do it?”

Oh, and it was also meant as a quirky, humorous comment!

Hi Lewis, thanks for your reply. Yes, it happens all the time, especially when you're a working writer. Believe me, I know what it's like to get an idea taken away from me, or parts of a story. Always hated it when it happens.

As with your call to action here, no matter how funny you meant it to be, I would not respond to it. I always had the feeling there were people waiting for my brilliant character description to steal it.

Is all.

Just me but the tone of the story should match character descriptions, and everything else on the page.

As for stealing (homage), I read a lot of scripts and I steal what I like- descriptions, plot, theme, metaphors, whatever. Good artists copy; great masters steal.

I told Die Hard co-writer Steven de Souza the movie inspired me, and I am using DH as a template for a single location/one night spec script. He wasn't defensive at all but supportive, he said, "go for it and invite me to the movie premiere."

Striding down the path to the barracks, with a smile on his

face, a gold tooth shining, is LUDWIG HARMAN (35); highestranking

SS officer, muscular, blonde hair and blue eyes.

He stands before the women in a black uniform with medals

decorate his thrust out chest; his cap at a slight angle.

I don't understand, I thought we were posting character descriptions, not scene layouts. No offense of course. I'm just confused.

We are Dwayne!! I just think and show that character discriptions don't have to be made up of just a few sentences. Lets just say your two/three lines of a character description are magnificent and the rest of what he/she does on screen suck. dialog and action. Then what?!

Just a thought. If anyone wants me to delete. No problem... Done!!

I keep it small and to the point. That's also bevcause I am on the production side of things, so unless I know the actor playing the character, I want limited descriptions. However, a lot can be said in actions though. Action forms the character.

I make character sketches for each character in my outline because I want to be consistent in my work. But I limit the descriptions in a screenplay. Just a few words to get the gist of each character. But BEFORE that I make an outline with scene descriptions, arcing development of conflict, and character sketches. My outlines for each novel or screenplay are often 20-50 pages. Here is an example for you guys might find useful : Character Sketch: Hygenette Alabaster Borax

Height 5ft. 10 in Weight 120lbs

Sex: Female

Hair: Peroxide blonde in tight bun

Dress: White or cream colored gowns

Body: long and willowy

Shoes: High heeled slippers with white feathers indoors, white stilettos outside

Face: Long hawkish nose

Mouth: thin lips wide smile

Poses: straight backed knees together hands on knees when sitting. Hands clasped before her when standing.

Build: model thin

Arms: long and thin

Legs: sticks

Imperfections: Obsession with cleanliness

Age 31

Birth date Jan 22, 1973

Birthplace: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Home: Mansion in Philadelphia then in Santa Barbara

Favorite Room: Bathroom where she bathes several times a day.

Habits: Gets up twice a night to bathe. Eats very little, too busy cleaning self, ordering maids to clean or primping to eat.

Sayings: Filth and nonsense. I must bathe. I will not allow my baby. Germs!

Motive: Wants absolute perfection to protect Bartholomew from a germ infested and filthy world.

Desire: Make Bartholomew into the perfect Borax executive but keeping him safe too.

History: From a cleaning product empire based in Philadelphia. Only surviving child of the Alabasters. Her brothers died in a terrible car accident when she was a teen. Her parents then began putting more pressure on her to stay safe. Even made sure that her college was close by: Swarthmore where she met Bartholomew Borax II. At first she admired his painting but after they married and he drowned in a mud puddle associated paint with his death she began to dislike the smells and how his clothes would get paint splattered.

Troublesome back-story: Her happiest times as a child were in her father’s detergent factory... She missed the soap smell so much.

Later when she was pregnant with Bartholomew her husband drowned in a mud puddle and her mania for cleaning really began. Every time she thought of his death she’d bathe until she was bathing several times a day.

Hi, Lewis Martin Soucy. How are you?

This is a character description I just wrote: A shy outcast, SHY WILLIAMS (15), tiptoes into the noisy lunchroom; a stack of textbooks in her arms. She scurries through the crowded room, keeping her head down; hoping no one sees her or her thrift store clothes.

I agree with Raymond. Less is more. We're screenwriters, not talent scouts or casting directors.

What a great thought starter! Thank you for this, you have fired my imagination again.

Bartholomew Flint, a fiercely loyal and passionate pirate captain, he's got his own set of morals and his own sense of justice. He is tall, fearless and formidable. The Dead Sea King thinks he can just steal Flint's crew and get away with it, but the captain will follow the foul, undead creature to the ends of the earth to save his crewmen, because to him it’s death before dishonor. He doesn't take disobedience well. But he knows that most crewmen are rash fools who think they know better than he does. If they mean well though, then he is usually able to overlook the offense.

I hope this is in the spirit of the request:

“Dale! Why is the android in the kitchen playing solitaire?” demands Hitomi coming

down the ladder into the changing room.

“Androids don’t play solitaire,” responds Elizabeth looking sideways at Dale as he takes

off his breathing apparatus and begins to wipe the face seal clean.

Dale moves very slowly and deliberately, exaggerating his movements as he hangs up

the breathing apparatus and begins to look pained as he turns to face them. “No. They don’t, normally, play solitaire.”

Elizabeth closes her eyes, hangs her head, and before looking back at Dale says, “I’m

guessing you didn’t program her to play for other people’s entertainment?”

“Well… no. She must be practicing her predictive ability. She plays poker and does it

pretty well.”

“It,” interjects Hitomi.

“Androids don’t do that,” Elizabeth looks at Dale and asks. “What is it?”

“She… It is my Doctoral project,” Dale, still looking pained answers.

“What… Is... It!?” Hitomi says slowly emphasizing each word.

“It is an artificial person,” Dale winces as he says the words.

“Those are illegal! They have uniformly suffered from the Frankenstein Syndrome,” says

Elizabeth; shocked at his statement.

“She’s special,” pleads Dale.

“How is… it special?” asks Hitomi

“The reason bottom up artificial intelligence hasn’t worked well is because at some point

in the development of their moral decision making, they diverge from what people consider an

accepted norm. They don’t have the preprogrammed responses that living organisms are born

with. They don’t develop empathy. Because they don’t ever identify with people, they develop a tendency to treat people as part of their environment rather than living beings. Li can’t do that,” Dale explains.

“It empathizes with people?

It has emotions?” asks Elizabeth skeptically.

“No. Li doesn’t have emotions,” Dale replies. “She can emulate them for easier

interaction with people but I don’t believe she has emotions. She is imprinted on people. Me.”

Maurice - just my observation - way too wordy, how would I film 'hoping no one sees her'? It has to be actionable.

Laurie - Such a well detailed and long winded character bio is important to the writer but of little/no value to me as a reader. Introduce her to me as a visual in a single line (under two) show us what you got.

Thanks for the feedback, Doug. I wrote that character description for this post. I would most likely rewrite it and make it shorter in a script.

I agree that action lines have to be actionable, but sometimes we need to include sentences that give readers better insight into the story; even if it's not filmable. Sentences like this are a writer's voice.

Like Doug Nelson implies, this post is looking for "straight out of your script" character descriptions. But unlike Doug, Maurice Vaughan, I totally LOVE and actually find super visual "keeping her head down; hoping no one sees her or her thrift store clothes." I see this filmed easily. It's all acting and clever wardrobe. I like how the line tells its own story and creates an instant empathy with the character.

Thanks, Lewis Martin Soucy. I wrote "hoping no one sees her or her thrift store clothes" because I didn't want to interrupt the script's flow by saying "She wears thrift store clothes" in a separate sentence. Adding the clothes she wears is important because it reveals that she might be poor or lower-class (as you mentioned when you said "I like how the line tells its own story and creates an instant empathy with the character").

Doug, thanks for the comment and kind advice but perhaps I wasn't clear. I only use character sketches for myself. In my outline. I shared mine because I thought it was something that others might be able to use.:) It helps all fiction writers to have some sort of character sketch for each of the players in his/her work.

Two descriptions in my Artania Begins screenplay are as follows: "The other hospital clean highchair holds BARTHOLOMEW BORAX III. The smiling baby smashes his perfect rows of white bread into animal sculptures until his horrified mother, HYGENETTE BORAX, prim hair pulled in a tight bun, snatches them away."

I try to show through actions and dialogue how she should dress. I mean if a woman rushes off to take a bath multiple times a day and keeps saying, "Filth," she obviously wouldn't wear paint-splattered overalls.

Laurie - I recommend using a detailed character bio as you have in your notes as a writer but not in the script. The reader needs a visual, ie; HYGENNETTE (30) in professional business attire, hair in a bun - followed by action that demonstrates her character. If she's an overwound character - show it by her action.

"NICK DUNNE, 30s, handsome..." this it the opening establishment of the MC in Gillian Flynn's "Gone Girl" script...

Many novices micromanage their character's establishment (down to logo on the jacket) Don't do that if not necessary...just give us MC traits, something show us how this fella behaves within the script...Casting agent'll find the looks, anyways :)

NIDO, a chubby, bullied bookworm, my favorite character of 'Guardians of the Gates'

She wasn't brave nor a hero, never intended to be, but she had to defend herself from time to time, even it if meant turning into the person she hated the most.

YARA:

“Texting your mom? Seriously?”

(roared with laughter)

“Mom, help me, aaaaarrggghh!”

(starts typing, face turned evil)

NIDO:

“Don’t you dare!”

YARA:

“Or else... what?”

(turns to Indy next to her and shows sceen)

"She's in love with Gus."

INDY:

“Those are going to be some ugly pigs."

YARA (fake yawns in response)

NIDO: (whipped around in anger)

“Give it back, stupid bitches!”

Kiril Maksimoski, I think reading a book that you purchased is a different approach to reading a script from a stranger. You have plenty of time to discover, figure out and understand (or love or hate) a character in a book, But in a screenplay, those two or three lines will visually cement the character for good and justify and support his/her dialogues and actions throughout the reading. But I agree, over detailing might be confusing and, to a certain extent, useless and annoying.

1. Vangelis walks into the living room, smiling contentedly, heading for the kitchen. He is chubby, not handsome, but well-groomed.

   He has on a luxurious bathrobe and wears a large gold signet ring on one of his carefully manicured fingers. He gets a call on his mobile and starts talking, scratching his balls at the same time.

   2. Introducing a disillusioned cop:

   A couple of junkies are breaking into a car. Panos eyes them with a tired look. He pulls out his phone to dial, changes his mind, and walks on.

I tend to keep it very basic: Male or female, age, maybe a body build if necessary. Then I use their actions throughout the script to reveal what makes the character intriguing. But sometimes you just have to add a little more - "Cat, in silhouette a physically stunning classic, that is until she turns and faces you. Her one good eye, a deep emerald green, the other hidden by a black eye patch that barely covers the jagged scar underneath."

Christiane Lange, I love Vangelis' introduction! One trick I like when dropping a string of character details on the page, if they are significant, of course, is to include them in the action, like this:

"A chubby guy walks into the room, smiling contentedly. He's no Brad Pitt, but he's well-groomed, wrapped in a thick bathrobe. He heads for the kitchen, and his phone rings. As he picks up, we see a large gold signet ring. He looks at his manicured nails and scratches his balls."

It helps break down long, tedious enumerations of adjectives and kicks up the action in a wistful style. As for your disillusioned cop, there is no mention of this. Maybe a simple word or two would give an idea:

"A couple of junkies is breaking into a car. Panos eyes them with a jaded cop look that has seen it all before. He pulls out his phone to dial, changes his mind, and walks on."

Just my 2 cents. :)

Lewis Martin Soucy When Panos is introduced, you don't know yet that he is a cop. It becomes evident a page later.

Christiane Lange got it! ;)