Screenwriting : Love is Poison Logline Update. by Michael Keeling

A dangerous romance with a horror element?

A witch who’s casts a love spell between her friend and a werewolf must reverse it due to a century long curse.

1. This isn’t a logline; it’s a paragraph. And, at 62 words, twice as long as it requires.

2. I wouldn’t use generalized phrases like “things go horribly wrong."

3. I recommend one high concept sentence and merging all the most relevant info,

For example, try something like this:

A young witch seeks the guidance of a nefarious sorceress to reverse a spell she imposed on a charismatic werewolf with a greater goal of lifting an ancient curse forbidding the commingling of their species.

Badabing!

This logline is 33 words in one sentence.

I hope that helps.

Uncle Phil - I find your version better but still a little convoluted & confusing. First, remove 'out' (it's redundant). Who cast the spell - the witch or the sorceress? Why the adjectives 'young, nefarious or charismatic' in the log line - those would show up in the story and could well be the source of conflict.

Doug, my logline is merely a quick example. You're right, the word "out" can be removed. However, in general, I disagree with you about the ambiguity. I used nefarious rather than corrupt because I choose to employ colorful adjectives in my sentence to make them stand out. It's working well enough for me when I pitch my material. A witch and sorceress are essentially the same things. Other than that, I think the sentence is easily understood. Since the young witch is the primary subject of the sentence, the majority of readers will understand she is the one who cast the spell.

Didn't know witches had any power over werewolves. It strains credulity.

Uncle Phil - my hang-up with using adjectives as character descriptions in the logline is that it already gives away the ability to develop those characters uniquely and fully within the context of the storyline. Hey, just my pov.

"When a young witch breaks a centuries old rule forbidding love between witches and werewolves, she must battle the wrathful ire of both to save the only love she will ever know." Or something...

Thank you all so much for the help, I wasn't expect this amount lol. And for what you're saying Erik, Witches have magical powers, where as normally through myths and such, werewolves are thought to be "Cursed" by witches, they're several different myths/ legends revolving around them both, that I just wanted to make mine different.

Doug: Your POV has my respect. It's pretty good lookin'.

Presuming the best friend is also a witch, (not clear.) “A novice witch casts a love spell on her best friend and a handsome werewolf without knowing the backstory of an ancient curse that forbids romance between animals and humans.” (Just off top of my head two cents.)

Dan MaxXx Haha, I don't know if that's a compliment or not lol! But thanks lol.

I just want to say thank you to everyone for all the help, for someone with learning disabilities it's hard for me to come up with ideas sometimes, that's why i always ask for help from friends or industry professionals.

I would shorten it.