Screenwriting : Logline for new short film "Whispers of the Past" by Michael Keeling

It is too long: A troubled psychic deals with a resurfaced memory that could threaten her sanity.

Hey, Michael Keeling. Great title.

It sounds like there are two stories going on ("Amidst a new residence, a psychic grapple with unsettling echoes from her ancestral past" and "As a long-buried memory resurfaces, it casts a shadow over her well-being, prompting a desperate struggle to reclaim her peace and sanity").

I'm not sure what "casts a shadow over her well-being" means.

Maurice Vaughan "to spoil a good situation with something unpleasant: Her father's illness had cast a shadow over the birth of her baby."

She's younger and it's not a home for the elderly it's a house that she has bough, she's a journalist. But there's an entity in the house that took her grand-mother etc, but she doesn't know the house belonged to her great-grandmother until she discovers a picture album.

Maurice Vaughan Sent you a message :)

I don't mind a couple sentences, but you're too vague with your phrasing. And starting with "amidst a new residence" is awkward. She bought a house, she didn't materialize there. A psychic "grapples" with an "s" on the end. Anyway, your follow up message actually tells us what the story is about. You can rework it into longline format. Tell the reader she's a journalist with previously unknown family ties to the house. Don't be afraid to tell the premise.

Thanks everyone :)

You're welcome, Michael Keeling.