Hello Writers,
I wanted to share what happened when I had my first in-person meeting with a successful producer.
Not pretty but still funny.
Please allow me to begin beginningly with the beginning.
It’s a family tradition to send out a newsletter once a year to all family members scattered around the globe to inform everybody about important changes. So, this year I learned that a distant relative I didn’t know before was forced into a sabbatical due to the strikes in Hollywood. I googled him up, learned he was a famous set designer who worked on Hollywood blockbuster productions and contacted him.
He was nice and facilitated contact with a successful German producer who had worked with Kevin Spacey and other A-listers. Let’s call him Mr. F., which doesn't stand for what you may think it does.
I met Mr. F. during the Berlinale in an expensive restaurant that I didn't suggest.
Of course, he was late - no problem. Of course, he came in while talking on his phone - fine by me.
Of course, he immediately left for another call only to return 20 minutes later – yeah, well, still fine by me, whatever.
He wanted to know about my projects, was fascinated by the very first one I told him about and didn’t want to hear about anything else. Now we’re talking I thought, and we did – Yay! Mr. F. didn’t so much like to listen but instead loved to speak… while eating – of course.He ordered a first course, a main course, three glasses of wine and espresso. No dessert – 4 real?
During the conversation, among a lot of other things, he mentioned he once lost $250.000 he spent for developing a series that didn’t work. “Well, you gotta carry on, don’t ya?”
He gave me some valuable advice and even sent an email to introduce me to one of his colleagues.
He also promised to read my script and facilitate other contacts… but he stood up the moment he was finished with his meal, shook my hand - “Okay boy, let’s be in touch.” - and left. Bill all mine!
The waiter wore a smile mixing pity with spitefulness when he presented the bill. Hurt and proud as I felt, I returned the smile and even gave a tip. You know, if he reads my script, likes it, reaches out to Sean Penn, whom he thought could play the villain, this more or less humiliating meal could be a good investment.
Mr. F. didn’t read the script. He didn’t facilitate other contacts, and via email told me we are not in contact anymore. “Good luck.”And when I told the set designer from my family what happened, guess what happened? Nothing happened - he also ended communication with me. I didn’t even complain, just told him what went down in what I thought to be a funny and serene way to report and get over it. My bad it seems.
Hollywood Dreams are bittersweet and fleeting. May they come true for us!
I daresay we can up the odds by laughing our way through all the eccentricity until we spot and sign the dotted line.
Yours
Till
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Sorry that happened, Till Olshausen. Creatives definitely have to laugh off the hardships in this industry and keep pushing on with our projects. And shut out the negativity and noise.
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Also sorry that happened to you. But if your screenwriting is as funny and well written as your post, somebody helpful and not nearly as predatory will ultimately find you. Good luck.
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Man that's brutal. My condolences. Off topic, but I have a few fond memories of Frankfurt when I spent about 24 hours there between plane flights, including meeting a nice, helpful young lady (probably not in show biz).
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That's brutal. I'm familiar with that kind of dine and dash. I met with an actor from a hit show about playing one of the leads for my spy drama stuck me with the bill and the actor ordered the porter house.
And BTW, when I read "Mr. F" in your story, I heard the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT episode with Mr. F and that sing-songy pronunciation.
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become a producer yourself
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Hook, line and sinker. You should of rose, crabbed Mr. F by the arm, and asked where he was going and share his half of the bill. You were too kind and nice! A lesson learnt!
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It may not be a perfect timing! You can actually create this a True to life Comedy TV Series.
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... it is a good lesson for all of us. This guy probably dines in these restaurants all the time, so he is not trying to take advantage of you. People 'on this site' are paying the same amount for the privilege he afforded you with a meal included. You just paid his hourly fee (you probably got a discount on that) for his full focus and attention to pitch your work. Sadly, he wasn't interested in your pitch, but he didn't leave the table - he stayed for the whole meal. Perhaps next time invite the producer for a sensational coffee or go for a walk in the park.
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Rebecca James That producer has something going for himself. I wonder how many free meals he gets in one month, a year?
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Daniel Broderick Thank you for your encouraging comment, Daniel.
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Leonor LeRu I turned another aspect of my life into a dramedy short film. And that is when the only agent I had quit on me. I'll share that story soon. :-)
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Eric Christopherson Should you be in Frankfurt again, I'll invite you for the sensational coffee Rebecca James suggested. Thank you for reading, Eric.
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Julia Ploshinsky Yes, working on that...
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Francisco Castro I had Arrested Development on heavy rotation back in the days.
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Welcome to Show Business. If you wanna play the big game with corporate agents & salary execs and ppl making more income than you, then paying for dinners is the standard admission to their world.
We had a meeting with a successful NBA basketball player (at one time he had one of the highest salary contracts) and wanted him to give us $1M to make a movie. The dude wanted to meet at Mastro's restaurant in Bevery Hills and he brought his girlfriend and two friends. The Girlfriend ordered 3 appetizers before we even sat down. Lol. It is what it is. For them $500+ lunches is normal.
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Hi Til, You've got the makings of a great short there! Terrific story.
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You're only worth whatever they think you can do for them.
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Graham Mulvein Thank you. Yes, it would be a fun shoot I guess. :-)
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Dan MaxXx , Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I didn't know about that "standard admission" and just thought the producer's behavior was deplorable. When I meet with friends, family or someone with less income than me (hard to find) I always try to invite them.
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Long time ago I had a "read my script" lunch with then domestic producer, now he's a film festival director...as I reckon everyone paid their share, but he beat me like 34:1 in talking...
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Kiril Maksimoski Great score! :-)
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"And I am only interested in what they can do for me. I would never meet up with a producer who didn't read any of my screenplays." - Dan Guardino
The producer almost certainly understood that the only reason his distant relative finally reached out to him was because he discovered the guy was in the biz and wanted to use him to break in.
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"I am just saying I wouldn’t have agreed to meet up with him unless he read one of my screenplays." - Dan Guardino
Look at that from the producer's perspective: a distant relative who's never been in contact before finds out you are in a position that may benefit him, so he asks to meet with you, but only on the condition you do something for him....
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Grifters in any occupation can smell desperation. Free meals & free money for chit-chat advice
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Why does it have to be an expensive restaurant with super-good expensive wine, oysters for an entree and filet mignon for the meal. How about a beer at the speak-easy? No kiss ass! The something for him or her is your hard work as a screenplay he can produce. Simple as that.
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Alot of valid thoughts and opinions here, and that is indeed a brutal situation Till Olshausen. That sucks, sorry that happened (the running out on the bill part I mean). As a producer, I receive outreach like that all the time, a few times a week sometimes. Relatives, friends, friends of friends, etc, and that's on top of the industry colleague outreach. Personally, I'd usually handle this as a Zoom or a call, or if we did meet up, it would be for a coffee or a beer, something inexpensive, as was suggested above. And yes I'd read their script in advance Dan Guardino . But I agree with Drongo Bum that, removing the walking out on the bill part, you need understand what it's like for the producers. As mentioned, we get this type of outreach frequently, and if it's from family or friends I'd oblige without complaint. When you multiply that by a couple/few times a month, that's alot of sweat equity. And if we did meet up, I would pay for the coffee or beer of course. Just keep that in mind. Not only are some producers reading your work and coming up with cogent feedback, and doing so gratis, but the transaction is actually costing them money sometimes when food and fuel are taking into consideration (assuming there is an in person meeting). Point is, everybody is putting in effort and time and sweat equity, and not all producers run out on the check. : )
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I used to screenwrite a lot. People treat writers poorly. I work in venture capital and compared to writing you're treated like shit
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Maybe Mr. F was just having a tough week and thought, Hmm, who could buy me lunch today? So, he looked through his contacts, haha. It's show business, not friendship business! It sucks, but it's funny. I met this artist who told me it costs $200 just to shake his hand and $800 for a 30-minute conversation. I was like, Who would pay for that? He said, Look, and I saw a line wrapped around the building!
I have a producer waiting on me to sign a contract, and I told them I'd think about it. My uncle owns a record label, and I can get the work done for this much with his people in India. The producer responded, I'll double it! I'm not going to say more, but when it happens, I'll drop a video on Stage 32 and show you guys how easy it is—step by step—by building value.
I really like this platform, and it’s crazy how some of you guys are being treated out here, lol.
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Next time, leave first.
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Agree with the words of Dan Guardino. It just doesn't work that way in Hollywood. A producer will usually put out word that they are looking for new material. Then when the scripts come in ( usually through representative solicitations), an assistant weeds through them utilizing the criteria they know the producer is looking for or likes. They only time you might meet the producer in person, is when they want to option or have first rights on your material. This dude was just looking for a free dinner. Sorry you went through this, Till.
"This dude was just looking for a free dinner." - Hanna Strauss
And Till contacted this dude only after learning he was in the business. They both feel used by this experience, but at least the producer got a meal out of it.
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Till Olshausen I can't say it was a funny thing- not really. Your gentle tone brought a sad smile to my face, but yes, that's the way writers are treated. So are teachers. Both create and raise characters that could make a difference somewhere some time. Cross your fingers, Till.
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Drongo Bum: the producer could have simply declined Till's call to meet and said he was too busy. That's what they usually do. He was taking advantage of Till's naiveté.. So how many professional producers have you worked with?
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Oh, yeah, I trust these people the same as a rattlesnake.
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I come from the music industry and always remember some sage advice I got from a famous producer. He said if they don't say "my treat" when setting up the meeting, you're buying. For the record, he paid my bar tab when he told me that.
"Drongo Bum: the producer could have simply declined Till's call to meet and said he was too busy. That's what they usually do. He was taking advantage of Till's naiveté."
And the OP was taking advantage of a family relationship with a guy he had never bothered to previously contact. Not until he discovered the guy may be able to do something for him.
"So how many professional producers have you worked with?"
Quite a few.
That is something anyone would try to do. And you are a troll. I doubt you have much of any industry experience. As I may reiterate: all the guy had to do was to decline to meet him. Till wasn't doing anything that most newbies would try to do. Please put a link to your IMDb screen credits. 'Quite a few'is not a credible response I guess you know that Drongo is Australian slang for an idiot. Are you a bot?
"Oh no! Somebody is pointing out the glaring hypocrisy of this thread! BURN HIM!"
I do not accept unsolicited material, yet it seems like every day somebody sends me their stuff. Their attitude is, "I don't care what you want or don't want, I want to be in Hollywood, so you will read my writing and hire me!" and they seem mystified when nobody will.
Nobody owes anyone a career just because they wrote something.
That's all the producer had to say: "Sorry. I do not sccept unsolicited material." And left it at that. But because he was out of work, and was a miserable schmuck, he decided he deserved a free lunch Just as I suppose you are. Have another pint and drown your sorrows, mate
Accusing me of being Australian? Ouch. Low blow, bro. Do better.
In this example, the wannabe pro screenwriter attempted to leverage his distant family relationship, only for the distant family to use it against him. Sucks to be the loser, I guess.
the producer who asked me for 4k to produce my movie has been x'd out of this site. the other producer who asked for money with a smaller resume is still on the site. if they remove someone the site should tell us why.
Rachel Cann: the problem is there are now so many desperate and delusional wannabe pro screenwriters — literally millions of them, worldwide — that producers are ignoring them and frauds are preying on them. And those millions are so desperate to find an easy way in they willingly fall for every scam.
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l get it that some people will post on here that this producer owes you nothing…but it’s just the obvious rudeness and hypocrisy that nags at you in this account. Believe me I’ve had my fair share of these Cretans in the past…we all have at some point. One can only hope that karma is waiting in the wings and due rewards will visit this barbarian when at the bottom rung of his ladder. Even tight roping the delicate course of networking or with referrals no less…and some are still insensitive and indifferent…feeding on our hopes and then dashing them with no regard. I hope some civilized contact is in your near future. My suggestion is to keep moving forward and maybe even attempt at producing some portion of your project yourself. Get it out there in some way. The industry model is changing and we need to be adaptable to survive and succeed.
"...it’s just the obvious rudeness and hypocrisy..." - Frank Detrano
The hypocrisy is here in this thread. The OP attempted to exploit a tenuous familial relationship in order to gain access to a producer. The producer may have exploited the OP for a free dinner. (Or maybe he really did have to rush out...)
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Yikes! To quote Ron Burgundy "That escalated quickly!" Look, let's put this conversation to rest. Till Olshausen had a bad experience with this person. There are going to be bad examples to cite all around from alot of people, unfortunately, which is why this post had seemingly touched such a nerve. Let's do each other a favor and be positive and helpful examples to one another and move forward with that in mind. Let's not be check skippers, it's all we can do right now on this thread that'll do anyone any good at the moment!
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@Nick Phillips Can we at least acknowledge the fact the OP was trying to exploit a distant family connection with a guy in order to get what he wanted from him?
Please don't feed the troll with dozens of unproduced short scripts. Australian or otherwise ..
Is that really the best you can come up with?
"He's making valid points about hypocrisy, so lets try to use his short scripts against him somehow!!!!!!!!111"
Petty.
@Mitch Brennan And the OP attempted to use the producer.
This is a two-way street, here.
Let's talk about being petty after you've accomplished at least half of what I have. I'm retired now and don't owe anything to anyone
@Hanna Strauss Have we met? Because you seem to believe you have half a clue who I am.
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People, people! Hanna Strauss and Drongo Bum let's turn the temperature down, pretty please.
Nick Phillips Dude, I've been laughing for an hour. xD
Drongo Bum: in your dreams. You're a troll. I did a search on you. You haven't accomplished anything except be a total internet annoyance. Please post your screen credits
Mitch Brennan Good at what, exactly? Pointing out the established fact neither party is blameless?
Why do you take that fact so personally? The OP wanted a free ride but instead the guy he hoped to ride got a free dinner. We should all be laughing about this, since it's actually pretty amusing.
@Hanna Strauss Those are some pretty creepy stalker vibes you're giving off. Maybe you ought to take a break and go calm down. There's no need to make this personal.
Maybe you should give it a rest.
Hanna Strauss Well, I'm about to head out to dinner with a director, his DP and some other people.
No idea who's gonna pay, but it'll be fun to see which of us gets stuck with the bill!
Drongo Bum screen credits please.
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Sounds like the start to a great project. How will our hero overcome the shock and annoyance of that meeting?
Hanna Strauss Maybe you should give it a rest.
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Next time Fight Director... put your num chucks on the table... then see who takes care of the bill! Flight or Fight!!! (love to all really loving the drama.. great writing) xxx
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Screen Credits please. Mine are quite visible on my profile
Hanna Strauss That's so neat!
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Till, Yours sounds like a typical film industry experience, and though $250 is nothing to sneeze at, it's on the relatively benign side from my experience. Orson Welles famously said he spent 5% of his life making films, and another 95% trying to raise the money. And that's Orson Welles. I believe in trying everything, but nowadays with so many pathways for actors, writers, directors and producers to make their projects, I believe the bulk of our energies should go towards that. What's the old adage - if you want to make a $100,000 film, make one for $10,000 and so on. Onward!
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Smart Man John Royan!
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Hanna Strauss "No idea who's gonna pay, but it'll be fun to see which of us gets stuck with the bill!"
It was me.
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Thank you all for reading and commenting. I'm learning a lot by studying this thread. :-)
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Nick Phillips Thank you for the nice words. I met another exec for comics and animation movies in Berlin. He also didn't read my script but wanted to get to know me. Before the meeting, he texted me to pay for lunch in his favorite little Indian place, and he did.
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Frank Detrano Thank you, Frank.
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We need a lot more of these posts. Be on guard everyone, even if it's from someone you know, like Till's set designer.
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Meanwhile, at a site for producers, some guy is complaining about the distant relative he never knew he had who asked him to dinner only to make him read his screenplay....
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The number of A. Egon Chalokian profiles that have entered my inbox is really annoying as a result of this waste of bandwidth. If you know nothing about this profile, look it up on the internet. The imposters, the charlatans, the stolen ID's are rampant vultures on this site
while we're talking about wasted time, today I received the 29th phone call about winninh millionns from the sweepstakes contest. I seldom even answer the phone unless I see someone's name. Bute I have to also say that I want their RED Mercedes convertible!!!!!!
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Brian Koppelman, known for writing about grifters, said on his podcast that a family relative pitched him a movie idea at his father's funeral :(
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"Brian Koppelman, known for writing about grifters, said on his podcast that a family relative pitched him a movie idea at his father's funeral :("
Imagine being the other people involved in the OP's story:
You're a relative so distant the OP didn't even know you existed until he heard you were in the business. So, he reaches out and asks you to get him in too. You pass that buck to some busy producer who has no pre-existing relationship of any kind with the OP. Now that producer's expected to meet him and read his stuff. And then the producer discovers it was all a complete waste of his time....