Screenwriting : Screenwriting by Kakha Beridze

Master the logline! Distill your idea into a one—to two-sentence logline, and that will solve your problem. If you can't, that means there are some loose ends in your script that need to be polished or redone.

Maria Restivo Glassner Thank you, but I'm not referring to the logline - just the script I'm working on, where it sometimes happens that, for example, describing the plot requires more sentences than if it were more concise, then it would be easier to read, but the main idea would be weakly presented.

Hi, Kakha Beridze. Are you a Writers' Room member? The weekly Pitch Practices can help. The Pitch Practices are the best pitching resource in my opinion! And here's a free webinar on pitching: www.stage32.com/education?p=8944895721779

Maurice Vaughan Thank you very much, I will definitely take a look.

You're welcome, Kakha Beridze. If you're not a Writers' Room member and you want to join the weekly Pitch Practices, you can sign up for your first month of membership free (www.stage32.com/writers-room/plans-vip).

"Thank you, but I'm not referring to the logline - just the script I'm working on, where it sometimes happens that, for example, describing the plot requires more sentences than if it were more concise, then it would be easier to read, but the main idea would be weakly presented." It sounds like you're talking about the length of your action lines, Kakha Beridze.

Maurice Vaughan Yes, that's exactly what I mean. It seems too lengthy, I don't know, I feel that way. When I reduce it later, it doesn't come across the way I intend. Do these many sentences pose a problem?" I've uploaded a few pages to my profile, and you'll understand exactly what I mean there, or if you'll allow me, I'll send them to you, if it won't trouble you, of course.

It's a balance, Kakha Beridze. You don't want to write action lines that are too long/have unnecessary details, but you also don't want to write so sparingly that you don't paint a picture for the reader to visualize what's going on. I used to be so concerned with writing short action lines that it hurt my scripts because readers couldn’t visualize what was happening in the scenes.

I read the first two pages of The Final Age, A New Era (Signs). You could cut some words from your action lines, like “simultaneously” in “The sound of countless bird wings. A flock of bats simultaneously bursts from the tunnel, their multitude darkening the moonlight” on page two. The bats are in a flock, so we know they’re bursting from the tunnel simultaneously.

Two things you can do when you’re not sure if your action lines are too long are #1) read your action lines out loud and #2) see where you can take out unnecessary things.

Also, if you want to slow things down in your script, make the action lines longer. If you want to speed things up (like during an action scene or fight), write short action lines.

Hi Kakha Beridze, great question! It can definitely be tricky to find the right balance between detail and conciseness. Our Success Team would love to help you refine your approach and keep that core idea strong. Reach out to me, Nick, and Jason at success@stage32.com to chat about your script. We'd love to explore strategies for conveying your vision effectively. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Write in the active voice

I say to try focusing on the core elements that drive your story forward and consider using subtext or visual cues to convey ideas efficiently, which can help maintain both brevity and impact! Have you checked out the script coverage Stage 32 offers?

hi Kakha, it’s easy for us writers to start running in a wide-open field and find ourselves deep in the weeds. depending on the time allowed for the pitch, I always try to at least convey the core dramatic question: what is the key conflict and why should I care (a brief description of the main characters). Hope this helps.

Thank you all very much for the feedback, I appreciate it... These comments are very helpful for me.

You're welcome, Kakha Beridze.

@Kakha The audience does not need to know “all” up front but has to be intrigued enough to want to know more to stay the ride. Lay initial seeds as to the real truth without necessarily spelling it out and it’s okay to subvert expectations. Obviously writer must know plot but audience can get plot at later stage, they don’t see it coming but looking back it all makes perfect sense.

Work on the logline first, and then the foundations. After you've figured out the characters and the plot, start telling your story.

I recommend outlining first and then you'll have the basic plot sorted for pitching. One line for each beat. Then you can drop the last three beats for the pitch to leave your story hanging.

One of the best ways to learn writing technique is by reading scripts. Look at how others have conveyed pace and feel by either increasing or decreasing description. Another thing that slows and lengthens a script is if there are lots of scenes that only serve a single purpose, rather than multiple purposes at once.