THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
HAKAMARI (SHORT)
By Wardaan T
In an Indian village, rumor spreads about a deadly spirit HAKAMARI. When his only SON fails to return home; an elderly FARMER struggles between his wife's blind belief and the parental duty.
SYNOPSIS:
A rumor spreads in a village about HAKAMARI. As per old superstition, villagers believed that she is a spirit who calls you by your name, from outside of your house and if you reply to her call, you will die instantly and she will take your soul with her.
CHINTU is a primary school boy who didn’t show up at home till evening. His mother MANORAMA is much concerned about him because of this rumor. She grieves herself with various thoughts while waiting for him.
In the evening, MANOHAR comes home. He finds his wife MANORAMA in a distracted situation. He is a farmer and an intelligent man, who does not believe in such superstitions. He tries to convince & console her.
When MANORAMA tells him about HAKAMARI he gets astonished and angry of his wife’s belief in such a blind superstition. He ignores his wife’s futile talk and rests to make her understand that there is no such thing.
She pleads him to go out and search for CHINTU but he doesn’t budge until he hears CHINTU’s voice in trouble.
-9- This will be good in 3D animation.
HAKAMARI (SHORT)
Screenplay will be made available on request ;-)
Register / Log In
1 person likes this
Always intrigued by cultural superstitions and spirits. You may want to tighten the logline to include the protagonist, his/her ultimate goal, and the challenges faced in doing so.
Thanks Andy and Diane, I will incorporate your suggestions soon.
1 person likes this
It's good to see depth and the old ways incorporated into a screen play.
1 person likes this
sounds good, would be interesting to see how it develops.
2 people like this
Its great Wardan...would love to see the screenplay. Do you have anyone looking into this one. I love paranormal and horror, and always looking for materials for a company I have just started working for. Who knows...but if you have someone in mind or need my help in anyway...let me know Harun Shah www.harunshah.net
1 person likes this
Sounds interesting, I would rewrite the logline: An Indian farmer must face the deadly spirit, Hakamai, in a bid to find his young son
Thank you so much!
1 person likes this
Hi Aarthi & Oriel, now you can take a look at it... I just corrected it.
1 person likes this
I like both of Oriel and Aarthi's loglines. They are much clearer. Use one of them ;-)
Yeah Arnaud, but non of them reflect the exact story what I have written. I think Logline should be true to the script and not otherwise.
1 person likes this
Logline is not sounding proper according to the synopsis Wardan! Can you improve it
Hi Bhawna, yes, here is the new one. Actually I changed it thrice. No one knows earlier Loglines. This is the new one :-)
1 person likes this
This is not as clear as the "HANDS" one. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to focus on.
1 person likes this
I like this one!
1 person likes this
My comment is the same as the one I gave above.
1 person likes this
Sounds like a movie I'd watch
1 person likes this
Very interesting idea! I am intrigued!
Rated this content
Rated this content
1 person likes this
Sounds interesting Wardan, like the conflict of pragmatic vs. superstitious
1 person likes this
Hey many thanks SJ ;-)
1 person likes this
interesting story, But you reword stuff to hook people. I mean what happened to chintu? does he have a story to tell? Do people go out and look for him?
Rated this content
Rated this content
I liked this. But I think films like this need a good director in order to maintain the beauty of the story. I wish you success.
Rated this content
Rated this content