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Two people arrive at an antique bookstore to begin an affair. During a torrential storm engulfing the city Cammie and Aiden must confront the tempest outside and the turmoil within to truly know what their hearts want, and if what they truly want is each other.
SYNOPSIS:
Cammie Holden is unhappy. She arrives at Second Circle Books with a strenuous job in human resources that demands an increasing amount of her time and energy. Her marriage to her husband Arthur is slipping away like raindrops through a sewer grate. The couple’s two sons, Bruce (15) and Tyler (11) are crumbling under the onslaught of puberty. But Cammie is a bibliophile; her great passion is books. Worlds of literature she can escape to inhabit and find things she lacks in her waking life, passion, and adventure. On this day, Cammie approaches this emporium with something she’s only ever had in her books: a potential lover.
Aiden Rohm is unhappy. A relationship to the younger Alizee was exciting and passionate but has now fallen into a dangerous malaise of comfort and resentment. His new promotion to the head of human resources at his job should be exciting but provides little relief from the monotony of his life. He only respite from the drudgery is the world of a bibliophile; his books add excitement, passion, and freedom to his mundane existence. But today, he pulls into the parking lot of Second Circle Antique Books with something else on his mind: another woman.
Second Circle Antique Books is an unhappy place. The manager, Herman Ost, longs for an easy existence. Clerk Fanta Mitchell desires an employer who values instead of ogles her. Will Underhill wants to be paid on time. No one, however, is getting what they yearn for.
This bookstore, in this city, is about to experience storms. As these cars pull into the parking lot, heavy clouds gather overhead and will soon unleash a tempest upon them. Within the building, several other storms are about to be unleashed. Cammie must weigh her newfound passion with the embers of a dying love. Aiden must decide between the hope of a new love and the memory of a love gone wrong. Herman, Fanta and Will have to wrestle with the disappointments, failed expectations, and frustrations of each other.
After this deluge is over, nothing will be the same.
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character names do not go into a logline. What is the goal, objective, why now, attributes of the characters, etc?
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Hello Matthew, here's a suggestion: 'During a torrential storm, these two people seek shelter in an antique bookstore. Now, they have to confront the tempest outside and the turmoil within to truly discover if it's each other they really want.'
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At an antique bookstore, during a torrential storm, two people confront the inner turmoil of not being sure if what they truly want is each other. (The log line seemed a little long and clumsy, so I worked with a shorter, one sentence version. You can introduce the other stuff in the synopsis.)
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I like the logline, but I agree with Jenean McBrearty . Jenean, I write romantic comedy. Maybe you can help me with my loglines. I'm rusty as I'm just getting back into the game.
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The logline is a little bit long, I agree. But, the concept is there: the unrequited love, the forbidden love rather during dark times.
Also, I'm hoping your characters go beyond just "unhappy".
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Also, in your Power Point presentation, there is a glaring typo. Otherwise, you have done a fantastic, thorough, well-thought out presentation. Best wishes!
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Whether arguing with your boss, not you boss
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good idea, the pitch deck gave me a few thoughts
Hi. Start with the log line. You got 2, maybe three sentences. I know more about the bookstore (antique-which conjures up all sorts of images) than I do about your main characters. Are they two women? Not even a pronoun to give us clues. Do they independently seek refuge from the "tempest outside," stumble into the bookstore and meet by accident? Had they arranged to meet there? Why at a bookstore? What is the "turmoil within?" Cammie is an elderly (80-ish) emotionally torn, retired librarian who Aiden (also 80-ish) jilted half a century ago when he knuckled under family pressure to court someone of higher social standing. WHAT? NO? YOU DON'T SAY SO. YOU DON' TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. OKAY, SO HOW ABOUT THIS-- Cammie is a 9th-grader suffering the whims of her hormones who dared venture out into the storm despite her father's edict to not date the horny-but-disciplined 12th grader Aiden who is now determined to walk on the wild side and lose his virginity. OKAY-you've introduced your characters. NOW-what is your story? Thousands of dollars of rare books are threatened when a lightning bolt hits the store's electrical panel and starts a fire. THAT WORKS. NOW-what is the character arc and how is the story resolved? Faced with the certain destruction of priceless first editions, Cammie arrests her hormones and saves the day by sitting on Aiden's shoulders to put the valuable tomes on the highest shelves while opening the windows to the rain storm that extinguishes the fire. If not for the storm to distract him, poor Aiden would have had his way with Cammie, her being so close and available. They become the town heroes! SO IN SUMMARY: A) introduce your characters and their flaws or inner hurdles they must overcome. B) Layout your story and explain how pushing their way through it also helps your characters overcome their inner hurdles. C) Their existence thus altered, tell me how your characters step out into their brave new world. Hope this helps. Hope you are even alerted that this is here.
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