THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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MONKEY AND ME
By Jon-Michael Mooney
Monkey & Me takes place in two very different worlds. The real world where Mac is desperatel selling his soul to try and pay his bills; and the wild and mystical world of his inner psyche where Ego leads a dysfunctional crew facing the unbridled chaos of past traumas in Mac’s Mind.
SYNOPSIS:
Being an adult is a nightmare. Trying to balance being responsible and paying your bills while struggling to figure out what you actually want to do with your life.
And what makes it worse……. that nagging voice in your head.
The voice that gives you 100 reasons not to go to the gym.
The voice that keeps you up at night thinking about all of the embarrassing shit that you’ve done over the years.
Meet the Monkey Mind… the chattering nut-case that has set up residence in your head.
But he doesn’t live alone. And he’s not the only one causing havoc in your head.
And this is their story…
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2 people like this
A few structural mistakes JM. Altar needs no capital a, you used 'nothing' twice within three words, 'he's' twice in one sentence, and I don't know what 'the machine' is (although I'm sure you mean society). No, I am not as pedantic as I sound, just pointing out that these things slow the flow of your pitch. It's a comedy so I would underline the comic aspect e.g. I'm stealing a bit from the Walter Mitty logline here but...Mac has an over-active imagination, so much so he finds himself left at the alter. He's ready to fight for his dreams again, but is thwarted by the wacko characters living in his head.
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1 person likes this
Thanks Craige. Appreciate the feedback. I definitely need to rework the logline. It doesn't really capture the story that well.
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