What do you guys think? Should I dial him down a bit or is he alright so far?
Nishandh: Director in Warsaw, Poland.
Founder and CEO at Stage 32 ♦ Actor, Producer, Screenwriter, Voice Artist
4 years ago
Hi Nishandh. I'm RB, Founder and CEO of Stage 32. As a screenwriter, producer, actor and filmmaker, I know first-hand the challenges all creatives face finding work, landing representation, launching projects, securing funding and simply making the connections that will make a difference in their careers. That's why I created Stage 32. Since our launch in September of 2011, the community has grown to 1,000,000+ members representing every country on the planet making Stage 32 the social network uniquely populated with the most creative people on Earth.
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Managing Director at Stage 32 ♦ Director of Operations, Producer
4 years ago
Hello Nishandh -
Welcome to the community! I'm Amanda Toney, the Managing Director at Stage 32. Since 2013 I've been proud to oversee Stage 32's Next Level Education, which provides you the most up-to-date tools necessary to become a better creative.
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2 people like this
As Craig says. Or said in a slightly different way:
There is just too little story to judge about, first page or not. There simply isn't enough context yet. Pro or amateur judging this page, that doesn...
Expand commentAs Craig says. Or said in a slightly different way:
There is just too little story to judge about, first page or not. There simply isn't enough context yet. Pro or amateur judging this page, that doesn't even matter. Could be great, I just don't know. The only thing I can say is that I would cut the "ing" form.
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Try not to stress over every little thing, at least not yet. You'll make a lot of drafts anyway.
If you set up the place correctly and have developed characters, the dialogue will come on its own.
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Instead of "Jasper loves every moment of it", It's better to describe his action like how he express that he is enjoying. keep writing. All the best!