J.C. Schaffner

Unique traits: Talented writer for hire. Freelance Fiction, comedy, sci-fi and romance.

• Born As Gods

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  Lofty Dreams: The Web Series Comedy LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 1: "STRANGER IN A STRANGE LOFT" BRAD arrives in Bushwick to meet with his cousin JEFFY, who has promised him a room to rent and a record deal, neither of which he is prepared for. Having LUIS shuffle BRAD out to Bed Bugs and Beyond for his initiation into the local bar scene, JEFFY takes the opportunity to dispose of PAVEL D (barely successfully), the Estonian ecstasy dealer currently squatting in BRAD’s room (with two eurosluts). PAVEL D, wants to help, or perhaps sensing an opportunity to sell drugs, volunteers to play the part of record exec. LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 2: "THE BEST HUGGER IN BUSHWICK or WOLF-MOTHER" JEFFY gives LUIS the lowdown on the scheme that he and PAVEL D have...miraculously contrived, in order to help convince BRAD that a record executive indeed wants to sign him...but can’t. Bringing BRAD back to the loft, they find PAVEL suited up and ready. But PAVEL tricks BRAD into signing a fake contract, and breaks the news to him that he’s not ready for the big leagues. Just when BRAD’s hopes of artistry, fame and gullibility appear to be wearing thin, GAIA steps in with some sage advice, and that ever-present Reiki hug that brings the whole loft “family” closer together. LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 3: "A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL" Loftmate and aspiring visual artist, CHLOIS, quite possibly the hardest working artist in Bushwick (which, fairly, is a title akin to worlds tallest midget), has decided to leave on account of chronic disrespect, high cost of living and a dead-end career, taking her rent with her, whereby she has “turned her bullshit artist problem into a REAL problem”, as JEFFY puts it. JEFFY convinces her to stay by promising to sell her painting, which he now knows must involve his arch nemesis, BRYCE, the highly successful, entitled art dealer who has stolen his lady love. After a failed attempt by LUIS to garner startup capital for his social networking idea GRNTR (“it ain’t just like twitta”-LUIS) , the boys seem to have secured an opportunity to get CHLOIS’ painting seen and sold—but at what price to their precious dignity? And, to top off the excitement, BRAD gets a surprise visitor… LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 4: "THE AWARENESS CENTER FOR RECENTERED AWARENESS" Tricked into becoming caterers, BRAD, JEFFY and LUIS must serve the pretentious art snobs on their home turf. JEFFY sees and pursues the woman of his dreams in enemy territory— But the seductive and fiercely independent KAYLA is BRYCE’s girlfriend now. Ugh. This failure at attaining love, coupled with an infinite supply of complementary alcohol sends JEFFY on a one-way spiral to belligerence town. BRYCE, reeling from his tet a tet with KAYLA and his encounter with former boss-turned-competitor, CYNTHIA, struggles to regain his self-image. JULIE waits for the perfect opportunity to surprise BRAD. LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 5: "WHAT ISN’T ART?" JULIE reveals herself to BRAD and floors him—literally. While JEFFY has had enough to drink, BRAD has had enough of JEFFY. BRYCE has had enough of CYNTHIA but can’t seem to get enough of JULIE, seducing her with highfalutin visions of artisanal monetization. JEFFY, on full tilt, convinces BRAD that his darling midwest girl has already been turned into the Jezebel of the Bushwick scene. BRAD exacts his revenge with a hard punch to the gut. CHLOIS runs in and shakes JEFFY in rage at having almost besmirched her painting. And then art comes out all over the place.   LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 6: "BOTTOM LINES" JULIE flips out on BRAD over GAIA's lack of boundaries and ramped sexual energy. Jeffy drags hime off to find gainful employment. CHLOIS leaves him in charge of her responsibilities and a strange "trustafarian" attempts to educate BRAD on the affairs of the heart before also leaving him high and dry.   LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 7: "TRUSTAFARIANS" Brad's new position quickly percolates into an all-out anxiety attack. JEFFY and LUIS "work good" to save the day while a new opportunity to showcase BRAD's talent arises.   LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 8: "BREAKING BRAD" BRAD is given the opportunity to play a qusi-professional gig to a mildly packed house. Battling the stress of all that has occured over the past hours and bad first set, a tension headache builds up in his head and BRAD asks the wrong person for something to ease the pain.   LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 9: "THE AFTER-AFTER" BRAD’s opportunity to advance his music career ends with his refusal to enter in to the altered state of the night before and a gun wielding psychopath. He’s desperate to fix things with Julie, so BRAD rally’s the guys to find her at an “after-after party”. LUIS battles the call of his alter ego, “Dr. Sucio,” doing his best to stay out of the pile of fallen DJ’s. We meet ROSA, who could possibly be the best thing that ever happened to LUIS.   LOFTY DREAMS EPISODE 10: "DR. SUCIO, MD, MA" As it turns out ROSA really doesn’t care much for the Dr. JULIE feels a wave of independence, and leaves BRAD wondering what to do about it. BRAD and KAYLA formally meet and actually have nice time together. Kayla let’s Brad in on a little secret that could have a serious ripple effect on the balance of the loft.