Last August, my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I became her primary caregiver until she went into hospice care. She passed in March. She was my best friend. During that time, I didn’t do much writing. I didn’t have time. I was in charge of everything in regards to my mom’s health and what would happen afterwards. I tried, thinking it would be a good outlet for everything that was going on but just couldn’t make it happen. It’s been almost 9 months and I still can’t bring myself to really get into writing. I want to. I’ve done some decent work outlining and researching on a couple new ideas but when it comes to actually putting the words in the script, I got nothing. My mom was my biggest fan, my biggest supporter and it’s like that joy in writing died with her and I’m not sure how to get it back. Maybe it just takes time. I don’t know. The Stage 32 screenwriting community has always been incredibly supportive, and I thought maybe it’s time to reach out and see if anyone has any suggestions. I miss writing.
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My condolences, @Krista Crawford. You could try and write random scenes and short scripts for fun. You could also join Stage 32's November Write Club (www.stage32.com/blog/join-us-for-the-9th-annual-november-write-club-3529). These things might help you get back into writing.
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Krista Crawford I'm so sorry you lost your Mom. I did too and she was my biggest supporter. Give yourself lots of time to heal. There's no rush. I'm sure your love of writing will come back.
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My condolences, @Jane Tumminello.
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I sent you a DM. I empathize with what you experienced. My father died when I was 8 and it sent my life down a miserable lonely path for almost 30 years. But I found something that helped to fix me.
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Hey Krista, really sorry to hear about your mother. I don't think there is any easy answer as to when it is a good time to start writing again but I do think it's important to give yourself space and time as the loss of a loved one is traumatic - I tried to attach a really helpful (imho) sheet from Cruse Bereavement that I know others have found useful as a tool towards understanding the phases people go through so they can understand the strange symptoms that may surface. I couldn't do it to Stage 32 site so (if you want) search online for it using Cruse Bereavement Dealing with Mortality. All the best as you take the next steps moving forward.
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My condolences, @Robert Russo.
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My sincere condolences, Krista. Like you, my mother is also my best friend and I can't imagine life without her. Take all the time to you need to heal.
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Krista Crawford it will be here when you get back. Go do everything your heart and head needs.
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I'm going to take a more scientific approach to this relying on my physiological background. Hopefully it will make some sense. There are proteins existing in our brains right now that carry chemicals associated with information like yours--i.e. "my mother is and has always been a big supporter and incentive for my life, my work, and my writing" ...just as you have stated. We can't just expect this chemical information to dissolve, or just let it go or put it behind us; it's not that easy. It takes time for these receptor sites and info-filled proteins to dissipate in order to take on and store new information. What information you don't have right now in your mind proteins are any associated with chemical information about: What its like to be in the world without your mother and her cheerleading support. Why? Because you haven't created any yet to reference or pull out of your mind. You need, therefore, to start making and creating them. Begin by creating thoughts along the lines of "Krista is now writing for herself; she is now supporting and cheerleading herself onward as a masterful writer." Your mother will smile upon you.
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My condolences, @Robert Russo. I like you to cheer up as soon as possible.
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Thank you to those who gave condolences to me. I don’t mean to distract from the original poster. I’ll just say briefly that psychedelics allowed me to finally grieve and move on from all my traumas. Including the death of my father. I do believe they’re an incredible tool for healing if used responsibly. the link in my bio to my podcast explains a lot more about my experience with them and how profoundly they can help.
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I am just coming out of six years of grief from a loss that was pretty much life changing. It takes time to heal. Give yourself grace and try to do things that support your mental and physical health. The writing might help you process at some point in time. My deepest condolences to you.
You're welcome, @Robert Russo.
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My condolences, @Suzanna Gardetto.
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I am so very sorry Krista Crawford. I lost my father a decade ago and it still stings so I understand. I would encourage you to take your time and seek out relationships that will build you up during this season of your life. This is a journey for you made up of small steps along the way so please don't judge yourself for not writing. We all go through seasons where it hurts too much to put pen to paper but the healing process can be a beautiful one if we embrace it and not think of ourselves as less than for not adding pressure to ourselves. There is plenty of time and we will be here for you along the way.
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I'm not sure if I already said this, @Leonardo Ramirez, but my condolences.
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Maurice Vaughan You did, my friend. I remember.
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Your mother would want you to continue to write. I say use this pain and heartbreak. You know have the experience of what its like to lose your mother and could implement that into your writing if a character you write goes through the same thing. What I find useful is forcing my self to write just for 20 minutes a day, I always go past the 20 minutes and helps me work on all my projects.
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Krista Crawford I'm so sorry to hear this news about your Mom / Best Friend. I, too, lost my Best Friend in the form of my Dad at age 91 in February. Here's a suggestion: Is there a captivating story you can create about your Mom? When I was a college kid, my Dad would often tell me-- "You know, I should write a book. No one would believe the life I've led." Dad was a machine when it came to work, so the book was nothing more than a pipe dream. Years later, in 2013, I discovered an interest in screenwriting and decided to latch on to Dad's book aspirations. I interviewed him about the major portions of his life in the following order: my parents' honeymoon, marriage, his career as a firefighter (plenty of true-life action scenes there!), parenting, and finally, divorce and the child custody battle (where Dad was victorious!). The screenplay covers 20 years of his life, highlighted by various compelling stages. In the end, Dad was thrilled when he read it! I can still recall his sheer happiness. At that very moment, I equated it to winning an Oscar. The script would go on to become recognized with several "Finalist" laurels nationwide (Still holding out for "Winner" status with this one!).
Perhaps, you could use the same model for your Mom? Best Friends share TONS of stories and experiences. Hope this advice propels you to create something wonderful. Go for it! I''m sure Mom would approve. Be well, and look after yourself during this trying time.
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My condolences, @Bill Brock.
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Maurice Vaughan Thank you, Maurice! You would've loved him! Not too sure about his worthless son, though.... : )
*Screenwriter's disclaimer: The use of the word "worthless" is presented for comedic effect ONLY, and does not represent the current or past characteristic of one William Vivian-Carlyle Brock III, or his descendants..... of which he has none.
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You're welcome, @Bill Brock.
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Hi Krista Crawford, you have been through so much. The weight of life/death can be overwhelming at times. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you give yourself some time to recover. When you're ready, I think the writing will emerge naturally.
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Thank you all for the support and sympathy and words of wisdom. It means more than you will know. I'm gonna continue to just take it day by day and when the writing vibe hits, I'll embrace it.
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I lost my mother, father and step-dad. Like you, Krista, my mother was my best freind and biggest supporter in life. Like the time I flew to Europe to model with only $400.00 dollars. She encouraged me to follow my dreams. It wasn't until I sat at her bedside during the last few months of her life, that she opened up and told me that she was 'worried sick' the whole 6 years I was living there. Like Bill, my mother wanted/attempted to write a screenplay about her life in the 1980's. I had no idea until I discovered her notes and script buried among her belongings! It's been 5 years since her passing and thinking of her still brings on a wave of grief and unconditional love. My suggestion to you is to write a few pages on one of your most cherished memories with your mother. Let the pain and love surface. Get it out on paper or on your computer. Make sure you have Kleenex nearby.
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You're welcome, Krista Crawford.
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My condolences, Lori Jones.
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Checking back in with you, Krista... how's it going?
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Very sorry. Pray. Keep thinking positive, most experts, say the most important thing to have in life as far as trying to be successful and joyful is a positive mind, because everything else can be taught.
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Hi Krista, sorry to hear of your loss. Years ago, I came across this one page bereavement sheet which I found useful in working my way through bereavement.