D Marcus's Lounge Discussions

Why would you assume that anyone that doesn't know you be willing to provide you with an introduction to a professional in the industry? You need to get out there and make your own personal connections.

IMDbPro provides the information you desire

Contact SAG-AFTRA or the DGA. they will give you that info. Or as Adra suggested, spend a little money and get a subscription to IMDbPro.

Yeah, Doug Nelson, that was pretty rude and I regret posting it. Was on a major downer and a half bottle of scotch. Forgot I even posted it. Note to self, don't drink and internet.

Hey Ian...

Pitch your damn screenplay.

AMARIS (sci-fi, 109 pgs)

Logline: Following a global environmental collapse nations claw for remaining resources and land. When the crew of the ISS receives a message from a lush and resourceful alien planet, superpowers on Earth race to make a claim.

Pitch:

Sending a message out into space can be a dangerous thing. You never know who is listening. Some fear that one day the signals we send out into space might be discovered by a malevolent species who could attack us. But, what if we were the ones to receive a signal, and what if we were the malevolent species?

This is an elevated "Science-faction" - fact-based/science-based sci-fi along the lines of "Interstellar", "Gravity" and “The Martian". Combined box office $1 Billion.

Nate is a loner, a cynic, and an environmentalist. His father originally developed tech to study the environmental decline we experience in our story. He was killed in a shuttle mission. Nate steps up to complete his work. While on an environmental expedition to the ISS Nate and the crew are visited by aliens from a rich and resourceful planet. Nations on earth soon get wind of this new planet and scramble to take it from the peaceful, humanoid residents. Afraid humans will consume and destroy this new world, like we did with Earth, Nate is determined to protect it. Where his father failed to save Earth, Nate will fight to save this new world.

Theme (contains spoilers):

It’s subtle. Something for sci-fi fans to discuss on-line. James represents Jesus, returned. Nate represents mankind and the baseball represents the flame of stewardship over Earth. Nate’s father represents our ancestors (who fail to protect the earth) and his niece represents our decedents. Simon Skariota in the Bible is also known as Judas Iscariot. The ships at the end represent the rapture where the meek inherit a new Earth - Amaris (A gift from God).

Opportunity for one or more sequel (Think Planet of the Apes meets AVATAR).

Hey D Marcus nope?

Take 2.

Title:

“AMARIS” (WGA #I307403)

Logline:

An environmental collapse has left Earth decimated. Nations claw for land and resources. When the International Space Station is contacted by an alien species from a lush and resourceful planet, the crew clash over divergent priorities, while global superpowers fight to stake a claim.

Synopsis:

Sending a message out into space can be a dangerous thing. You never know who is listening. Some fear that one day the signals we send might be discovered by some malevolent species, who could attack us. But, what if we were the ones to receive a signal, and what if we were the malevolent species?

In 2045 an environmental collapse has left the earth decimated. NASA works diligently to study the climate in the hope of reversing the damage and saving humanity. Their work is interrupted when an interstellar object is observed headed for Earth on a collision course. When the White House Chief of Staff arrives at NASA he learns that the object is not a meteorite or an asteroid, but something much more mysterious. It has come to a complete stop outside the International Space Station (ISS) and NASA has lost contact with the crew.

The story begins with our protagonist, Nate, at an environmental protest. Violence quickly escalates between protestors and police and Nate is hospitalized while saving a fellow protestor. He awakes in a drab and basic hospital room where he’s visited by his brother-in-law and ISS commander, James Hamilton, an honorable and principled military man. Despite being estranged from his sister, Nate considers James his only real friend. We discover that Nate, the environmental activist, is the science officer for an upcoming ISS expedition. However, his recent actions have put him in danger of losing his seat. He’s granted a reprieve solely because the mission’s goal is to test new sensors he has designed following from his late father’s work.

Back at his home we find him to be an isolated bachelor and misanthrope with little care for anything except for the environment and an old, battered baseball that connects him to his late father.

We transition to New Houston where the crew of the ISS prepares for their upcoming mission. Nate is reintroduced to Sarah Brockworth, ISS technical officer. She’s both wise and a wise-ass. The commander informs them that they’ll be joined on the mission by space-tourist billionaire and expedition benefactor, Simon Skaryota. Nate is irate as he considers Skaryota to be one of the worst offenders in the environmental collapse. This is clearly a PR stunt by Skaryota on a mission that Nate considers to be of the utmost importance.

Onboard the ISS, Simon is in the middle of a propaganda transmission to Earth when all power is lost. The crew have to hustle to regain power before their O2 runs out and they freeze to death. A bold decision by Nate restores power and the crew are saved. While investigating the cause, Simon and Nate almost come to blows before Simon notices a glowing blue light outside the station. Cut off from NASA they decide to go EVA to inspect the anomaly. Drawn by its beauty James is compelled to touch it. A resulting pulse of energy sends James tumbling, unconscious, towards Earth’s atmosphere. Nate risks his own life to mount a daring and heart-pounding rescue to recover James.

The orb was a transmission beacon and soon an alien spaceship arrives in response to the suggestion of life. The aliens are friendly and inquisitive and quickly learn to communicate with the crew. Dissuaded of traveling to earth the aliens invite James and Nate to their planet. Nate takes his sensors and there they learn of the beauty, wealth and resources of this peaceful and Edenic planet. Upon their return to the ISS the US government learns of the economic potential and recognizes the opportunity this planet holds. They conspire to exclude other nations from this discovery, but their secret is short lived. Greedy for the resources and paranoid of being precluded, tensions on earth rise between superpowers, with devastating consequences.

Concurrently, tensions rise on the ISS between James, determined to follow orders, Simon, desperate to acquire the resources of the planet for himself and Nate, convinced governments on Earth would consume and destroy the new planet, resolves to protect it. Where his father failed to protect Earth, Nate will not fail to save this new planet...from us.

What is unique about the screenwriter?

I am a 43-year-old scientist in the field of cardiovascular regeneration and stem cells (Writing awards – Top 10 most-read manuscripts in Circulation Research (2015), Best Manuscript Award - American Heart Association (2016)). I am also the inventor of the monoMASTER (Innovation award – Best new gadget, Field & Stream, 2008). I am a long-time writer, but new to screenwriting. A native of England, I now live and work in Miami, FL. I am heavily inspired by James Cameron and high-concept material like “Tails of the Unexpected” and “Black Mirror”. A life-long fan of sci-fi I speak the language necessary to connect to other sci-fi fans. Also, entering the industry at a more advanced age, and with such a broad background, I bring an energetic and innovative spark with a mature and experienced approach to storytelling.

“AMARIS” is an elevated "Science-faction" - fact-based/science- based sci-fi along the lines of "Interstellar", "Gravity" and “The Martian", with a subtle theme. After five weeks in the weekly Top 10, “AMARIS” peaked at #2 on the screenwriter’s peer-review website Talentville.com (owned by Final Draft founder Ben Cahan). As a finalist for December’s Top Script “AMARIS” received professional coverage and consequently won Best Screenplay.

50 say luck and 50 say talent. I think it's a draw :)

I think some people have luck, but I'll go for hard work and craft always.

I'm a very firm believer that you "make your own luck." Put yourself in position to get the breaks. And, remember, wherever you go online - even Stage 32 - remember people view your work. I've seen people have MANY posts - I mean consistently, LOL, not just once - with grammatical errors, misspelling and incorrect or no punctuation. But, they're writers and you can trust them! Take your work seriously. I do agree with what Dan MaxXx said about Craft. Learn to network - go to film festivals, events and put yourself out there. There are many script web-sites, though I believe going to festivals, awards ceremonies and networking events are much better. You can meet contacts - contacts in independent film, who will give you a chance. Earn an IMDb page. Have pictures on it and a bio. Become a three-dimensional person when they are seeking a writer. Be proactive and work with indie filmmakers to write some shorts that can be taken seriously. I wrote and directed a short that had success on the festival circuit and qualified for the Oscars nearly eight years ago and it really helped me. My friend did me one better - he wrote and directed a short that had even more success on the festival circuit and WON an Oscar. If he did it, so can you, provided you're a good enough writer and you work hard enough. I truly believe that you MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK.

Yes. there is an element of luck. And being in the right place at the right time comes into play often. You can have a screenplay that is well written and interesting but not something ProducerA is interested in making. Bad luck. Wrong place, wrong time. Then you can have that same screenplay and randomly meet ProducerB who is looking for a script just like the one you have. Good luck. Right place, right time.

I agree with Sam. You need to get that quality screenplay out there to make your own "luck".

Agreed, make your own luck. Seek out connections to people who can connect you with the people, prodcos, agents, etc. on your short list. Like Marcus stated, what Producer A may not want, Producer B may see as a good fit. Then quality of script and your ability to pitch effectively comes into play.

We each have our style. I feel using camera direction even once is not a creative way to write visual instruction. Chad, I like your second example better than the use of CU. As a reader and a writer I prefer scripts that allow me to visualize rather than being told. It's great to hear what other writers do.

Seriously, If I want to hint at the shot, I just use the words "A shot of..." and go from there. Tempo and pace are of more importance to me in a scene, so I try not to bogged down a scene with a description that slows down the flow. bad example in my first post...

W Keith, just to share my objective way or personal barometer (I certainly try to be objective, lol!) to determine if I may need to add or lean a bit harder on the use of a technical term or camera direction in a spec is clarity. Period. If I can write it clearly in some other simple, visual way, then I do. If for some reason, what I am trying to convey is potentially confusing and the most, clear simple choice is, say, "we see" then I will use it and move on because it's perfectly fine to use it. I am certainly not suggesting anyone misuse or overuse anything — which is never a good thing. Too much of a powerful spice ruins the pot, right? So using my barometer in regarding your general use of "A shot of," it seems unnecessary and excessive, especially if tempo and pace are important to you. "A shot of" actually bogs down the read. Read any well-written action sequence. Much less is much much more. Plus a line of description or action itself is what is seen, is the implied shot, the hint. Therefore the phrase "A shot of" itself does not imply its necessity for clarity. Sure, this could be a style choice, but because there are other, obvious, simple options its use may unintentionally be perceived by your reader as a misuse or overwriting. And I am in no way referring to the mantra 'no camera directions in a spec script' nor the feelings of an imaginary director. No. I'm only considering this in terms of effective writing. ;) Hope that helps!

Trottier’s screen bible gives a good explanation of how to get screen direction into a script without actually using it. (Through proper action descriptive) I.e “john sees the murder” is really “johns POV”

I try to stick to actions rather than camera directions. But horror is all about that so it's a mixed bag.

WriterDuet. Very helpful to be able to pull up your work and work from anywhere.

Thank you all for the feedback!! I will take a look closer at some of these that I am not familiar with, and will make the switch. I have used Google Doc's for years to jot down ideas and then to write out the scripts, but it has been a lot of effort to format them to standards. I am hoping moving to a platform will allow me to concentrate on the story and not the format. :)

Movie Magic is my favorite. It does both stage and screenplay format and can easily convert to PDF

Trelby is FREE and works just fine including exporting to PDF.

Final Draft. It's Industry Standard and is so easy to use. I have a collaborator for a tv series and we can both work on scripts at the same time. I wouldn't use anything else.

I am a little confused by the P&A. Is it $4 million and you still give 50% of the gross to the exhibitor?

It's not always exactly 50% but that's a good general number to use. The theaters return that 50% of the box office to the production. So cut the Box Office Mojo in half - it grossed $201 million so the production gets about $100 million. THEN all the numbers Vitaly gave you kick in. So (in general) a $200 million movie needs to make $500 million at the B.O. before it starts to show a profit.

You can also define it as a "Multiple" of "Negative Cost".

I wouldn't dwell too hard on trying to apply box office numbers versus estimated budget to studio profit/loss calculations. Even within the same accounting system there are many different sets of numbers being applied to maximize the advantage to the company for tax, business and vanity purposes. For example, in calculating profits for tax purposes, the goal is to minimize visible profits so all possible "losses" are factored in so that you will always show a loss. When declaring to shareholders and financial institutions, other sets of numbers are used to show actual realized capital, infrastructure enhancements and dividend disbursements. When touting success, box office numbers are flaunted without disclosure of other possibly negative factors. Also Domestic and Foreign audience numbers don't take into account presales deals, licensing and many other aspects of revenue income which are calculated separately. It's kind of like sausage being made: you're never really gonna know what's in it, so the only thing you can do is look at how many casualties it leaves in its wake. If everybody has a job at the same studio in six months it was a good sausage. If there's a big body count, that was a bad sausage.

Thanks for all the comments. This has been very helpful in my understanding production budgets and profits.

What kind of help are you looking for, Larry? Are you looking for local agents? Do you need names of agents in L.A. or NY?

Agent in general, one that can get to Netflix, Amazon Studios, HBO, Showtime, Etc - or any

suggestions!

I was gonna joke about whether the Queen was a guy or girl... as these days, ya never know (he typed in jest). But you pointed out "female"... so, so much for that one.

I didn't realize you were forced to participate in a thread.

AS should have gotten clear visions of some of the scripts and they could have become a big studio.

I've been following this thread. I learned a lot. Thanks

A. S. Templeton

I suggest archiving it. Locking it. Deleting it.

It's deader than dead. It was AS getting a completely free "big data" database -

The Godfather is even slow by today's standards. I realized that when I tried to make a 15 year old watch it and he fell asleep. :)

Constance: I couldn't be objective about The Godfather. I've seen it too many times.

I would say today's readers are out of touch with the LOA script... and Dances with Wolves and Breaker Morant... and other classic beautifully "written scripts." Concise but not truncated, ah those were the days. Dang that texting and Twitter anyway.

Yep, I think the LOA script format and style is outdated in 2018.

Of course it's outdated, and it's written by someone who was known to HW. Liberties can be taken.

So many books available to give an idea of how the business works - read them!

Another zombie post brought to life. But it is a question that ought to have a little light shined on it. What should screenwriters realize about Hollywood? I assume you're talking about those on the outside trying to break in. The first and foremost thing to realize is that nothing/nobody in Hollywood is real. Next comes the realization that 'they' don't want you there. Youse guys argue about that for awhile.

First, are you interested in working in the “Hollywood” way? There is an entire planet making film. If you are a TV writer that is even more global.

If you do want to work in Hollywood there is a million articles, blog posts and theories. But they are all academic unless you are a great writer.

Hurry up and wait! You go by their timeline.

There is a definite buzz going around Hollywood right now that involves a catchy little phrase being hurled around some agency offices for an in-house tongue-in-cheek laugh or two to break up their crazy monotonous day. It may be where Victor derived this from. I heard it again just this morning on the phone from a working director who heard it from his agent's mouthpiece--

"The spec is dead."

Now before you get up in arms about this, realize that many studios and major production companies develop their own IP, which basically, in the incubator stage is equivalent to, yes, you guessed it, a spec script. It's just not called that because they pay a salary to a company writer or outsource it to a brand name or produced screenwriter to get cred-mileage out of it, all while all under the official term of first-look or overall deal. They call their specs (+ pitch decks, cast packaging) more fancy words, like, programming slates, development deals, and signature shows. This is nothing new. Agents have been known to gasp at having to DEAL with a spec script outside regular working-writer channels that has no DEAL, legs/movement, steam, financing, or flagship studio behind it. What the Industry calls "set up." Who could blame them. Keep writing. Most of us aren't submitting to agents at the onset.

Top winners and placing specs from reputable contest and festivals are still receiving competitive bidding. If there's an agent out there who would like to expound a bit, we'd love to hear.

Claude, at the risk of humiliating myself again, I'm going to jump back into the fray here.

When you read what you wrote, consider the times you've repeated information, and still possibly gave too much. Also, there seems to be a problem with the intro sequencing.

Again, referencing economy in writing, consider this: If you write the ages of the porters, "upper twenties" and "50", there is no need to say "A young and older porter". If you say "porters stand in wait", there's no need to say "They wear hotel uniforms", it's already implied. If you say "Wilber takes a newspaper from his jacket", you can later say "Wilbur flips to the sports page" as we already know he has "the paper".

Also, consider how the porters are introduced. You call them porters, then introduce by name, and interrupt their intros when two shapely girls walk by. It's generally common to start with the name followed by age (if important) and description. In my opinion, the intro sequence would be better if it were Jeff, Wilbur, and then the interruption of the girls walking by.

Beth Fox Heisinger shared some deft advice about character descriptions. Rather than merely describe a look, they should speak to character, and try to say a lot with little information.

I could ask more questions about your intent in describing things, like: Why point out the sign showing the temperature? What is the temperature? Is it important? Does the pony tail and goatee speak to character? Is it important that the younger woman be heavyset?

I pointed the sign showing the temperature because nobody would know the name of the hotel by looking at it. So there is the sign with the name on it with the temperature. I'm sure it wouldn't be -20 below, so I left it to the director's discretion to pick a temperature. Pony tail and goatee is important. He's not bald and likes a goatee. Men do wear long hair. It gives the viewers a perspective to judge the character by his looks. We all judge a book by its cover. How are we gonna know what the woman looks like if I don't show her being heavy set. She's not skinny like a rake. Only a heads up on the size of the woman with a frail partner is all. When a film rolls a viewer instantly judges the characters and I only describe what the ones picking the characters for the film would look for. What the two porters wear is what the hotel has in uniforms showing the efficiency of the hotel. The hotel is a fine place to stay if the hotel has a staff that professionally has a great appearance. As to young and older porter. That's the first view when the camera sees them for the first time. When we go in closer, we can see one is in his twenties and the other much older is all. I could eliminate young and older porter though.

Oh! By the way Rich and Max, thanks for taking the time to comment. Rich for being so observant, I noticed your about me has a mistake. Edit, 'I've done these for quite a few projects, the the past year.' Max - The hotel does not have to be described. The picture will show it in all its glory. Show, don't tell.

Dan M. Penmanship is not a requisite in writing screenplays. A screenwriter is writing a blueprint to what a director should show on the screen, not what is fancily written in a slug line. What do you want? Two porters doing cartwheels while they wait for customers. It's a film and I opened it with a hotel, not any hotel, but the Four Seasons. I'm not suppose to say pan down to the sign and show what hotel it is and stop on the sign. I said the temperature on the sign so the director will show the sign which will inevitably show it's in LOS ANGELES. That's where we are in LA and not in New York or Las Vegas or Timbuckto. What's your problem? I have yet to hear any positive comments from you. What are your reactions to this writers?

Now that's a well-written comment, Laura. I'm down with that!

Need funding!! is not going to get you any funding... Putting together a real plan, including a 1-sheet, script, coverage, budget, attachments(if any), poster or "package) and your resume of films that you have written, produced, directed or made... will get you started in the right direction.

We have it all and always have had it

Good to see you after 4 years, Cindy. Did you make the movie?

Thank you

Are you serious? Your site has only one sample script of 7 pages and the rest of the postings are spam ads. This is an awful site.

How will you increase exposure for screenwriters?

How will you draw producers to your website to see scripts?

And what about the answer?

Could be because of interests. That, then you also have HBO shows in which also gains audiences. Then there's producers who also say that reality television is what people want these days. But that's to answer on why people say "It's impossible to a sell a TV pilot." But it can be done. Just know the audience, and the right producers you're pitching to.

Because the people hosting the competitions make money.

It's not impossible, it's been done. You just have to be comfortable with long odds. FYI, a manager recently told me about 70% of the opportunities for writers in Hollywood are on the TV side today.

Writing samples so you can get hired on a show. It's a long shot but you have to keep writing.

Taxi Driver indeed and a classic of classics "Double Indemnity."

7EVEN is also good.

My tip: http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip260.htm

Thanks for sharing the link, William. Jane the Virgin has a brilliant VO.

Thanks for all the comments, folks. Very helpful.

Victor, all of this is relevant and determined on a case-by-case basis by those directly involved. It depends on specifics. It depends on context. It depends on an individual situation, project, job, circumstance, etc, etc, etc. ;)

So this is great group for everyone in The World : https://www.networkisa.org/about-us.php

I most recently got to chat, and network with The Founder of The Group Craig James Pietrowiak. Craig is an amazing guy.

Question 1:

Just because you live in LA it doesn't necessarily follow you will sell a spec script or be hired by someone. Most agents, producers and directors don't accept unsolicited material and I don't think showing up at their office, their favorite coffee hangout, or a social function will mean that they will listen to your pitch. I live in Texas and have signed all my option and right-to-shop agreements while living here. And though I had a meeting with one of my producer contacts while visiting LA, I already had established a working relationship with him while in Texas. Additionally, I've have multiple meetings with interested parties via phone or video chat.

Question 2:

Just like any other human beings, there are nice agents/managers/producers. I had an LA literary agent call me about pitching a thriller script I wrote that won an award. He wanted to pitch it to some of his film and TV contacts. He was really cordial until I pissed him off by making an editing error. I also became good friends with the first Hollywood producer I met and we hung out, went to concerts, dinners and talked all the time for two years, until I pissed him off over a difference of opinion. We haven't spoken much lately. So try not to piss off your contacts and instead build long term relationships with people who can get your work into the hands of filmmakers.

Question 3:

I wouldn't rely on selling a spec screenplay. I've had better luck with writing assignments. Including my most recent option agreement in August. Assignments don't "just come" unless you are an established heavy hitter and even then, there's always competition for paid work. Without doing copious amounts of pitching to producers, directors and other industry types, you have little chance of getting work for hire gigs.

Question 4:

I don't spend time daydreaming about living "a dream life". I spend time trying to find someone interested in making a film.

Question 5:

Unless they're selling scripts to known industry people, particularly scripts I think that have artistic merit; and or can get me a gig for paid work, I don't give a rat's posterior about what other screenwriters are doing. If they want my help or support they typically have it.

I'm sorry, but the only "dumb questions" - regardless of year - are the ones you don't ask. Everyone is at a different level here on S32, and to characterize anyone's questions as dumb is contrary to the spirit of this website

Respect, Victor Titimas for putting your uncertainties on your sleeve. And yes, listen to Beth Fox Heisinger - her words are always wise and encouraging, yet based in the realities of the biz.

Victor Titimas Victor, John Ellis is right. There are no dumb questions. It's wrong for someone to make you feel like you're not at the right "level" to ask them. Don't let anyone's negative remarks keep you from learning.

Having said that, I asked all of these questions once. I got my answers by spending time reading these threads, blog posts, going to TV or Film festivals, and hiring a writing coach to help me get this shit straight.

Just keep showing up, never give up, and write your little heart out. Best to you.