Abdallah Saleh's Lounge Discussions

Make sure your premise is rock solid and that your script follows your premise's lead.

Hey, Jordan. I like to focus on one thing each read through (Examples: Dialogue, action lines/visual writing, A Story, B Story). Focusing on one thing makes it easier than focusing on the entire script.

I always take 5 minutes to meditate and clear my head and then try to read a script like an audience member seeing it for the first time. Just a mental exercise but it helped me along the way. Go get ‘em!

I've discovered as soon as I began haha, thanks! Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Jordan Smith.

I would have them do the kinds of intimate, banal things that couples of long standing do, like getting each other coffee automatically or making fun of the other's PJs or whatever. Rather than a love scene, you could also have moments of affection, like a tender moment ending in a kiss on the top of the head, for example. It is not sexual, but also not something mere friends usually do. All you need are some strategically placed dialog or action snippets.

Christiane - I'm headed in that direction but in a short I've got to make the point quickly. I like Kacee's wedding photo idea. Abdallah, you're not part of my intended audience. E Langley - you must be a member of the touchy-feely squad.

Do you have a phone call? If so the Call ID may be a way. Phone rings, screen shows “wifey”.

The one thing I know about most people is face touching. If you touch someone’s face you are in a very intimate space with that person.

I love my daughter-in-law, but if she had something on her face I would to the spot on my face and say “You have something there”. With my wife I would start scrubbing away.

E - just go argue with a fence post - I have neither time or interest.

Doug Nelson Yes, wedding photo could work, or if they have an early dialogue about work, say, it could switch at the end to the personal, with one asking the other, "so, are we going to your mom or mine for Thanksgiving?" or similar.

How much?

Once it's sold, that's determined, Abdallah.

What is the book about?

Hi Richard,

I'd suggest using the Jobs section and posting there https://www.stage32.com/find-jobs/add

As mentioned by Christiane, you'd need to give more information to match your book to a prospective screenwriter.

Also, you should have a contract that both you and the screenwriter can sign, covering the assignment of rights, remuneration for a first draft, re-writes, credits, etc

"more kick than a Bruce Lee flick." Haha I don't know anyone who's looking for an Action/Comedy, but if I hear anything, I'll let you know, Ca Melo.

Hi Cornelius! It sounds like you’ve shifted things in your life to follow your dream. It’s not always easy but you are doing it!!

Thanks guys! It takes Patience, Persistence and Perseverance.

Hi Cornellus, you have been thru a lot, but the important thing is to stay on track. You found it!

I am an actress of stage, film, v.o. and playwright. If casting, think of me. Thank you. Take care!

Hi Teresa.

Nice to meet you. And I certainly will stay on track. Writing screenplays to me is like writing music. You have to know what your audience wants. And once you figure that out, give it to them. One of the most important things that I found out as a writer is that "EVERYONE" wants to laugh. And all of us were "hand crafted" by G-d with a built in faculty to laugh. Laughter is so powerful that it brings healing and relief to a depressed soul. Laughter is good. It's a GIFT!

Maurice:

You are correct, sir!

My advice is to not include any camera direction in your script Allow the Director to overlay his/her vision of the story. The very first thing I do as a Director is to strip every camera direction and parenthetical out of the script. If you want to argue about it - I'll throw you off of the set.

Thanks, Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal".

I think you can describe an image better than stating the camera position.

“A cup splashes into soapy water followed by a woman’s hands”.

Most people can imagine the image, it will naturally be a close up. I have only ever once called out a close up.

“We are close in on a woman’s closed eyes. They snap open”.

Exactly, Craig D Griffiths. "Two Things Screenwriters Should Know About Action Lines In A Screenplay" https://youtu.be/rXz0DTX3db0

Rob a bank.

You can network (build relationships with people) on here, Noka Stoeckley. Those relationships could lead to opportunities to pitch to people for free.

Some of the leads on these sites are free to submit to:

https://www.networkisa.org/writinggigs

https://www.screenwritingstaffing.com/screenwriting-jobs-script-searches

Hope these things help.

Noka:

Infolist.com provides free pitching opportunities via leads from Inktip.

Hey Noka - we've all been there at one time or another - standing on the ground, looking up at that massive tree, wondering how to even begin climbing. First things first: Get a job (any job) - you gotta eat & pay rent. Then it's time for some really deep, honest soul searching to really get to know yourself. Are you really a 'screenwriter' type person or are you better suited to being a Nurse, Teacher, Accountant, Engineer or Business Tycoon? Find your happy zone - if you decide to stick with Screenwriting; understand the process. All the best to you.

In my 21 years "career" I've only paid 40 bucks to enter Nicholl...and I've made my solid mileage through contests/festivals...so it's not a question of are there any free contests, it's up to one to judge wisely...

Don - think about how much you've learned from the experience - it's not a wasted year.

Don, you got one of your scripts into a bigwig's hands...and I commend you for that.

As long as you still love that script and still believe in it, that's what counts. There's got to be a decent place for that project. (Well, I like to think so!)

I wish you all the VERY BEST...and I'm glad you're here on Stage 32!

Dan, if the material is worth its salt, you should be able to pitch it to other people. And, Doug is right. Writing a screenplay is never a waste of time.

Even if it were true and you can't sell it elsewhere, you can use it as a spec to get writing assignments. Most writers in the industry have scripts in their drawer that they were able to use this way. Especially if this was for television. Spec scripts are worth their weight in gold. So don't despair.

I agree wit the general sentiment here - don't write to trend. You don't know where the next trend is going. Write to trend if you're employed and paid to do so - at someone else's risk.

Write what YOU want. And then write 20 more. One of the 20 will fit the next "trend", will fit in somewhere.

Thank you. I wasn’t sure if there was an industry standard. I’m not a professional writer.

perhaps you could put a ' comic book balloon on screen ' as a visual solution for the alien language... but probably it would be simpler to let production company solve this.

I am seeing this:

John (Subtitle)

(In Italian)

Hello, how are things going?

Anyone see it done this way?

Right now I have the Italian words and then in a parenthetical the English words.

Open to more comments and thank you.

Hi Shelly! Dan's example is spot on if it's a quick Italian conversation.

GINO

(Italian)

Blah, blah, blah...

FRANCESCO

(Italian)

Blah, blah... (lol)

But if the conversation is an entire scene, then you could write. "They spoke in Italian" OR "They conversed in Italian" Then you don't need subtitles.

GINO

Blah, blah, blah...

FRANCESCO

Blah, blah...

Hope this helps a little to clear up confusion.

Thank you Dan and DD. I understand now. It is an entire scene so now I know what to do. Onward with my writing.

yay. Very cool!

What a great surprise!

terrific.

YAY

Congrats

Hey, William Alexander! Are you saying you got a Hollywood deal? Congratulations! What are you working on?

Also, I was looking over your profile, but you don't have much there. Tell me about yourself! I would highly recommend adding your profile picture and bio (where you can expand on what you've done in the past or what you'd like to do in the future) to your profile for other members to better know how to interact with you. Feel free to reference my blog post on "Polishing Your Profile" to help guide you: https://www.stage32.com/blog/Shape-Up-Your-Calling-Card-The-Importance-o...

I’m looking for a Hollywood deal Also I have a pitch next Saturday

But if you can help me anyway just let me know so we can work together

I'll let you know if one comes up

Perfect

Jonathan thanks for your advice. I will read it for sure. It sounds very interesting. Also I find the law of attraction a must in our life, to build a better and aware self. Have a great weekend.

Jenny..my pleasure..I rarely encounter others aware of the Law of Attraction so its refreshing. Of the various pursuits, I design text based tee shirt designs uploaded to Amazon and recently added "That which is like unto itself is drawn" :)

Sentence very charming and "attractive"

Great to meet you, Jenny Del Prete, and welcome to the community! Congratulations on your successful theatre background - it's incredibly advantageous in film!

You've probably already discovered the Screenwriting Lounge (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting), but you should also check out the Acting Lounge (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/acting), and the Authoring & Playwriting Lounge (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/playwriting) to meet other like-minded creatives.

Keep in mind that these lounges are like the VIP Filmmaker's Lounges at Film Festivals, so this is where you can meet the people doing the work, get advice on anything you're working on, and/or give back to those who may need advice. We're a very supportive and encouraging community! I think you'd also enjoy my blog post on how to get the most out of the Stage32 Community:

https://www.stage32.com/blog/SocialSaturday-Mining-for-Gold-in-the-Stage...

Enjoy exploring the lounges, and don't forget to comment and respond to others’ posts, too! It's the best way to really connect!

Hi Karen, It's a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for your links and advices. I will enjoy them and explore the inner side of the platform. I know that interactions are important to build connection and that's what I want to. Thanks again.

Well done Jerry, It looks great.

Thanks, Jim. Jay was a great guy. I never got to meet him, but he sent me some wonderful comments when they were shooting, and even after it wrapped. Everyone said he was a kind man, no ego, and everyone just loved working with him.

Thank you, everyone! I appreciate it!

Congratulations, Jerry. Looks great.

This is fantastic Jerry! Congratulations. I am a massive fan of Westerns so this is a thrill for me. Have you thought of writing a blog for Stage 32 about your experience? Email my colleague Taylor Baker at taylor@stage32.com - I am sure that there are a lot of writers who could benefit from your insights.

It's about a girl and her friends travel back to the 70s.

Okay. Do they trigger the Zombie outbreak, or is it there when they arrive? If they travel back to their own time will it be the result of this Zombie outbreak. This is all stuff you can leverage in your logline. More interesting then “girl must kill zombies”.

They travel back.

Travelling back to the 70’s a girl and friends must end a zombie outbreak to preserve the future and their own existence.

Craig D Griffiths and @kyle Little - i would have downloaded the movie on my streaming service just based on your log lines :-)

Many times I start with the log line, but the story morphs into something a little different.

Erik A. Jacobson I totally get the visual aspect, I also have the "poster" in my head :)

Last year, my producing partner and I got a funding offer on the back of a two page synopsis I'd written that morning. We're actually in pre-production on that movie right now and scheduled to shoot in the fall.

Thing is, you need to be in a well connected position to be able to do that.

For most writers trying to break in, who are churning out specs, they are operating in a vacuum and may as well just get on with drafting those specs as efficiently as possible.

That all said, I do think it's always worth having loglines and short synopses ready for your best concepts, just incase someone you trust asks you what other ideas you have.

When trying to drum up interest in a script, having a one page summary is important. That page has a logline, then a short summary, and then some bio info on you and any other people connected to the project. Logline alone doesn’t say enough about the characters, theme, or the quality of your writing.

For me, always the logline first as it helps me test the idea - is it a movie I'd want to see (and write)? Also helps me choose the next project to work on, which one do I like the best? Can evolve, but usually the core idea remains the same.