Baljinder Singh Gill: Screenwriter in Birmingham, United Kingdom.

Hello all, I finished the last rewrite of my first completed screenplay a few weeks ago. After copyrighting and registering it with the Writer's Guild, I listed it on the Black List and paid for their evaluation. It took a little over 2 weeks. If you're a newbie, I'd recommend buying the evaluation first, before hosting your script on the site. Basically, NOBODY is going to download your script, unless it gets an 8 rating or higher. My $25 month of hosting was halfway used up before a reader bothered to download my script. I must say, I think that's kind of lame. Lesson learned... Before I go to the specifics of my evaluation, I would like to preface it by saying I SINCERELY don't mind criticism. I realize TBL's evaluation is studio-style coverage versus detailed notes, BUT...I was hoping to get some concrete information, so that I can make my script as perfect as I can. Having said that, my scores were low: Premise 6/10 Dialogue 5/10 Plot 5/10 Setting 5/10 Character 6/10 Script rating 5/10 Here's where I'm having some difficulty understanding their rating system. For the most part, I can't tell if the reader liked my script, or didn't read it, and used generic responses. Here's the first part of the eval: "The script moves along at a sufficiently well-done and entertaining pace, never feeling as though it is dragging while never feeling rushed or incomplete either. It's engaging from the very beginning and does a nice job of retelling a (classic) story in a modern way as it's intending to do. The plot is relatively simple and easy to follow, but also intricate enough that is calls back to the (original story) in a very poetic way. The reader goes on to say "the main protagonist is very likeable. His relationship with his fiance adds a necessary and fun love story, but is written in such as way that it doesn't at all take away from the central plot line about the XXXXXXX. Also, the ending has some morally redeeming qualities that gives the reader an enjoyable appreciation for the story and characters they have come to know throughout the entirety of the script." As for weaknesses, the reader noted two problems. The first was dialogue, which the reader thought sounded "too white-washed". I will admit I wholeheartedly agree with the reader, as this was a conscious choice. This is a story about an African-American character, and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone by trying to "write ethnic". Perhaps there's a balance between respectful authenticity and sounding like Quentin Tarantino? I'll certainly try to improve my script here. The only other area of weakness mentioned is the one I sort of have a problem with. The reader says "adding more depth to the stakes as it approaches the climax will help the script to feel more significant. It's clear what the stakes are-- (financial) success--however adding higher emotional stakes and a more significant backstory beyond the "superficial" financial success...will give the story depth and the reader for investment in it's outcome." Please understand I'm not trying to sound like sour grapes, but it sort of seems like they didn't read the whole script. Right before the climax, my protagonist's best friend was murdered, and his fiancé is being held for ransom. I guess I'm having trouble seeing how the emotional stakes could be much higher for my poor protagonist. The evaluation closes with : "This script feels commercially viable because of it's (classic) nature and well-developed entertaining plot. The entertainment that is inherent in the storyline makes this a story that would be widely appealing to a number of audiences, however it's questionable whether or not it would attract high-level talent or financers without a plot that employs a little bit more depth." Please understand that I am under no illusion that my script is Oscar-worthy. That's why I wanted an evaluation. I want to make my script perfect. I also want to make sure it's clear that I'm not trying to slam the Black List, or their reader. What I'm trying to do is figure out is if this is sort of rating par for the course? I guess what I'm saying is that from the evaluation, it seemed like the reader enjoyed my story, and only had two problems with it. So, it seems to me like the score should have been a little higher. Of course, the most probable scenario is that I deserved the low score of 5, and I'm okay with that. I just feel like the evaluation was far too vague, and it seemed like perhaps the reader skipped some of my script. I was hoping to get some more actionable feedback that I can use to help me during the next rewrite. It just seems like "higher emotional stakes to add depth" is sort of a canned answer. Have your experiences mirrored mine? Did you feel your scores seemed appropriate, based on the feedback? Am I expecting too much for $75? I'm supposing that 5/10 is only 50%...in other words, an "F" based on my college grading scale. With such a low score, I'm wondering if it even makes sense to try and salvage my story? For what it's worth, I also paid for the triple notes from Spec Scout. Hopefully, I'll get some info from them before too long. What do you all think? Rewrite and resubmit? Pull my script from TBL? Just enter screenplay contests, and forget about paid evals? Have some rum and a stogie? Thanks, Brad (fumbling for the rum and cigar...)

Hi Sara, thanks for the connection! And so close to home!

Would welcome thoughts on cliffhanger endings. Reason for this is that I've just received some feedback from a written pitch I did where the executive really liked it but was disappointed with the ending which basically is a cliffhanger with the protagonist about to be killed... or not. Having written 9 features this is the only one that I have concluded a script this way. I know the hardcore rule is to always give a satisfactory conclusion but with this horror piece I decided it didn't deserve that.

I am a screenwriter just like to know what you other "Happy Writers" think.

So here I am, a complete novice. No experience, no representation, no resume', just the "hey I'd like to do that" feeling since I was 19. Anyway, a couple of years ago I finally had what I think is an original-ish idea, and after a few cycles of writing and putting it on the shelf, I finally finished it over the last month. My question to everyone is: Now what? What does a pipe-dreamer like me do with a finished TV Pilot? The one small caveat is that I do know someone in the business, someone with a decent amount of status in Hollywood. Regardless of anything else, I did finish it, and I'm sure there are those that never even made it that far. Anyway, feedback appreciated. CAH

Posted this question on my wall as well. What page length is too short to bother? 150 is the maximum as stated in the rules. My current play is 76 with an easy 85-90 if I add deleted/optional scene(s), very controversial so not sure if I should add . Any info greatly appreciated.

Hi Angie Thank you for connecting. In relation to your post in collaborating on a producing capacity, I have a number of scripts in my locker that might fit the bill. If you could narrow down the parameters slightly, any particular genres and what budget ranges? Also do you have the capacity to produce in the UK? Many thanks! Bal.

Can someone recommend a few books and/or websites dealing with writing mini-bibles for pilot scripts?

Hi Claudia Thank you for connecting. Onwards and upwards to infinity and beyond!

Hi Erika Thank you for reaching out and hope you're doing good. I notice you're a sci-fi geek. Man I totally dig that! If you're on the lookout for any projects to produce I've got plenty in my locker including a few sci-fi pieces. All the best and keep in touch. Bal.

Hey! Welcome to S32.

Hi Nina Thanks for the connection! Doing Birmingham proud!

Hi, Baljinder! Thank you for the connection, much appreciated. I hope life is treating you well?

Hi Veronica Thank you for the connection! And so close to home. Unlike yourself I'm just a humble screenwriter. Are you seeking any projects?

Yo! Thanks for the connection. Can you help me or vice versa?

Is anyone else not receiving the upload e-mail after paying for a pitch besides me? It happen twice today.

Just finished listening to this webinar and... brilliant! Ever since watching a pirate version of The Exorcist on VHS when I was 14 I've avoided horror. However an idea for a feature materialised a few months ago that I thought would make a cool horror flick. But how do I go about it, considering I've never been a fan of the genre? That's when the opportunity to subscribe to this webinar popped up and I'm so glad that I did. I'm very excited about exploring this genre and writing my script. What was a real eye opener was the types of sub-genres that fall under horror and how my own ideas and interests fitted in. Thoroughly recommended to any screenwriter looking to write in this genre.

Hey, gang! I've recently taken up exercise and it's really helped my mind as far as screenwriting goes. I've been sharper and thinking more clearly. In fact, I've broken what may be a rule(?) of screenwriting in that I'm now working on two spec projects simultaneously. When i run out of juice on one, i turn to the other. Is this unusual? Have any of you ever done this? Do the pros out there not recommend it? I'm thrilled and exhilarated by the fact that i can actually do this, whereas before I would be stuck on one project until the end, dragging out months and months until I could work on the next one. Your thoughts? as always, thanks for your input!

I had cut out what I thought was unnecessary fat from my script and now that I am satisfied with it it is only 75 pages long. Is that too short?