Robert Parera's Lounge Discussions

congrats. I do wish however that the back description was shorter. Maybe something like this "The phone range, it was Mayor Murphy. Apparently his daughter's famous Golden Biscuit was gone. Private Detective Oliver new he had to take the case - because no one turns down a request from Mayor Murphy. What Oliver didn't know was that it would challenge all his intelligence and skill, and lead down a path straight to the nefarious Rose Hill Crew."

That was considered, however I thought/felt it important to recognize the added story line, or as they say '"hook", for excitement.. Remember this is a full length -- 105 page, motion picture.. We were definitely on the same page at first.. Thanks..

Congratulations!

Thank you very much Ms. Lewis!!

Congrats, Robert with your fantastic project. Why do I not hear from you? Is this because you think I´m still working with Maria? I´ve no contact with her any more.

@Robert Find screenwriting festivals with Animation pitches. Writers who aim for big studios like Pixar off course usually have agents but now with Transmedia there are ways of self publication Eg social media, podcast, blog, web pages etc. Animation is wanted now cos of social distance changing the game so don’t give up.

The Gotham Group manages animation folks and has a strong publishing division.

Mr. Harper.. Thank you very much for the heads up.. I really appreciate it..

Mr Harper would you mind if we connect?

Mr Harper I just checked and they do not accept unsolicited submissions.. Industry referrals only.. Hell it was with the shot.. I still thank you..

We work with several animation executives - Aaron Daniel Jacob from Bento Box Ent. (https://www.stage32.com/scriptservices/coverage/buy?id=19&genre=animatio...) and Daniel Kendrick (https://www.stage32.com/scriptservices/coverage/buy?id=19&genre=animatio...). Definitely reach out to our Director of Script Services, Jason Mirch, who is excellent at matching projects with potential executives: J.Mirch@stage32.com

If you're ever in need of direction, try looking up the production companies of the films you like or the films you think yours are similar to.

I prefer to give first and last name, sometimes a nickname, Or first and last name and apply emphasis to the last name as you develop the story line.

No. Not necessary. I’ve had characters referred to as nothing more than “barista” or “sergeant”. Unless they are a significant part of your story, it doesn’t matter.

If you want to keep his name a secret or want to save it just leave it out. As long as you know for now.

Me personally, I would label the character just senator if it's a small passing role. Unless as Jody said it's a bigger part then assign a name.

I wouldn't even use OFFICER DECKER: I would introduce him as HAMMER (40), burly in full police regalia ...

I am intrigued by the concept of "Emotional Writing". I see how it can be annoying to those in the Industry who may feel insulted that they are being told what emotion is going on, yet, it's also possible that the script reader who is reviewing a script may sort of zip through without fully understanding if the characters are understanding each other emotionally, or not.

That is an interesting point Alessandro Machi which is how does a writer show the reader what the emotional mindset of a character, especially with important emotional beats.

(Disclaimer: I know some of us already know all of this, but these notes might help some of our newbies.)

Alessandro, characters understanding each other emotionally is secondary (or less than secondary) in a screenplay. The most important element of a screenplay is the visual. In a way, a screenwriter tells a story through images and without mentioning emotions. That means we have to think through how we can express emotions through those images. That's sometimes easier said than done.

I also want to say something about reading scripts. I have only read a few because, when we find a screenwriter "breaking the rules," it becomes easier to justify the very things that will keep our scripts from the being the best they can be.

For me, watching the movie with commentaries by directors, actors, and producers have had more of impact than reading scripts. Writing a screenplay is part of producing a film. The more I understand about producing a film, the more equipped I am to write a script that is producible.

These are the basics that I follow when I write scripts:

1.) Definite structure--for me, the beat sheet works because I understand it. So, it's a good idea for each of us to choose whichever structure paradigm that best suits us. Remember, a construction company can't build a house without framing (structuring) it first--structure is vital in building something that lasts.

2.) Concise action with little description--one to two lines per action (three at the most). The important thing to remember is that the action lines guide the shots the cinematographer takes. This is the question we want to ask as we write action lines--what is the image the audience sees? Most descriptions should be brief, unless the descriptions directly impact the action.

By the way, inserting directions (such as "cut to") adds unnecessary clutter to a script . Most directors cinematographers are experienced enough to know how to handle the shots.

3.) Short and sweet dialogue--what characters say should support what they do or don't do. With few exceptions, I limit each dialogue to no more than 3 lines. (In my edits, I cut out most of the interjections that I tend to use.)

4.) Conflict, conflict, conflict--this doesn't have to be brutal conflict that ends up in a duel-to-the-death. It just has to be different perspectives that could or do cause trouble, whether big or little trouble.

This is some of what I've learned over the last five and half years of applying myself to learning the craft of screenwriting. I still haven't reached production yet, but I have a talent/literary agency considering representing me and I have two national actors attached as the leads of the first script in my franchise. I started in Ohio with no connections whatsoever with Hollywood. I'm still in Ohio and am going to press on seeking the people who will catch the vision of bringing good love stories to the big screen.

Emotion on the page is often communicated through subtext. And character emotion should translate or transcend to an audience's emotion—that's the whole point of storytelling, is it not? We experience things vicariously through characters. Really, the craft of screenwriting is about creating an emotional experience for your reader, and, hopefully, for an audience. You can follow whatever formula or "rules" or plot recipes you wish, sure, they are helpful and insightful, but unless you truly engage your reader both mentally and emotionally, get them to meet you halfway, entice them to want to know ‘what happens next,’ you're not going to captivate someone from the page. It's often the intangible quality of a screenplay that makes it stand out, that truly resonates with readers. It's that special something you can't quite put your finger on but yet we all know it when we see it and experience it. Perhaps it's voice, style, approach, talent, a great concept, or someone's specific handle on craft, their art of entertainment, etc, I dunno? So... my two cents, read as many scripts as you possibly can. It's all there. How to write great action. Study different approaches, styles, uses of setup and payoff, how it all works together as a whole, and what makes you keep turning pages. What makes you “see” the cinema in your mind’s eye. What works and what doesn't work. Superficial "rules" and ‘dos and don'ts’ and/or formulas are just a wee bit to consider. The rest is far more difficult and takes much time to develop—or so I have found! Lol! Best to you! :)

Thank you everyone. I'm going to read all the comments over the weekend. Some great info here!

Ooooh yeah, does not sound legit at all.

He's just "doing it wrong" in general. It's not anything illegal or even over-the-top scam-wise. It's just a dude trying to cover his overheads with someone else's money. It's not the best way to do business. I've seen various posts about him offering up a production agreement or "producers compensation package" or something. Generally speaking, he's saying "Give me money. I will TRY to get your movie funded/made/produced/something-other-than-sitting-on-your-harddrive". If you're just a screenwriter with some cash to burn , then you can choose to burn said cash this way. In my house, we call this a "fringe" player. They typically know someone who will take their call. They might have a little cash to spend on a project through a third party. It's pretty similar to the people yesterday asking about credit scores, etc. Will your movie get made? Who knows. A lot of movies get made every year. Will your movie get distribution? Odds go down from "getting made" to "getting sold or distributed" to "getting seen". He seems to be trying to do something. If you produce your own stuff already, then it's probably a waste of time (and money) but if you just have scripts sitting around and he's wanting the cash guaranteed against a project's financing or incorporated into the production budget then you have to make a choice. (If the production agreement is basically him specifying he has "below the line or day one expenses" then he doesn't want your money, he wants money from the project.) It's not the best approach in a community like this and it may straight up be a scam. If he's asking for you to write him a check...bail. He's not shopping or asking for a shopping agreement. He's not optioning your script against a sale. He's just a dude that wants to try to make a movie as described above. Be friends. Don't be friends. Try. Don't try. Just do the research and don't take risks that make no sense related to it.

John and Jamie, thank you. That was three years of education in one no-so long paragraph. I really appreciate your knowledge. Would you mind if I join your network?

I think that it's questionable at best to include the phrase "Production GUARANTEED", though. He obviously can't guarantee that, and especially if he's signing dozens of "Production Agreements" with writers from whom he is seeking seed monies/investment monies. I'd also want to know how he plans to "fully return" the investment that he's seeking from writers. Those phrases in quotation marks are from the letters he sent to the previous writer who posted about this.

looking at his profile and all about him i think he's good in all kinds

Great Job Denise Cruz-Castino !

Thanks so much Heather Hale and Bill Costantini. You guys are awesome. Appreciate the shoutouts and help! And thanks to everyone for your support! Means the world to me!

Did you get any playdates in NYC or NJ? Or L.A.? I can spread the word in those areas. CONGRATS on the release. GOD BLESS and STAY FRESH! ;)

AWESOME!

Sam Borowski just saw your comment! It played in NY and LA. It's now playing on Amazon, Fandangonow.com and Cox and more!

Dan MaxXx is stage32 American?

And yes, that is my plan. For the time being. I shall give my all to achieve that!

I’m going to sound biased as a British Girl but I really do think this is where British cinema comes into its own, I really enjoy our method of storytelling, it is my more natural mode in terms of writing, despite being a fan and adapt at writing things for a more American gaze/market, I still like stories really grounded in people, even if the story doesn’t really do anything to share a world changing message or anything overly spectacular and is just a story about these people at this moment in these surroundings.



As for “Still Crazy” given it was written by the same duo who wrote Porridge, I went in expecting a great story based on people and the everyday circumstances they find themselves in and I found it, some of my favourite Brit actors are in it,Timothy Spall, Jimmy Nail( who is criminally underrated), Bill Nighy and Billy Connolly, I think it is a great movie, it didn’t disappoint, I haven’t seen it in quite a while, but am inspired to re-watch because of this thread.



I think this and most other things written by Clement and La Frenais are very good examples of typical British storytelling, it is distinctly different from Hollywood storytelling but for that reason, I do often find the characters more relatable and the films more marking.

From one viewing, I often find I take more from a British film than an American one.



I think we are a blunt and straight forward people ( Brits) and our art is similar, I think other countries excel with nuance and therefore can stand up better to multiple viewings with each viewing taking something different from the film

I think both, Jimmy Nail (who of course is also a singer) and Bill Nighy have great singing voices, though I had hoped Billy Connolly would sing at some point...

The scene at the end where Karen takes the 10p coing off her bracelet, which she had kept all those years, and hands it to Brian is one of my favourite scenes in film. It is so simple and at the same time so evocative!

Brilliant writing. And performance. And cutting...

The final song, in the album version, „The Flame Still Burns“, is pretty much the best soundtrack song for a movie I have ever heard. The way it fits to the movie... awesome!

Love the old British horror flicks. Can't beat them.

Nope. No "playing" anything. No loneliness. Life is great! Lol! ;) It's rather characters and stories that I explore. Of course, it's wonderful when you can utilize things from your own life experience or those you know. But mostly I view writing as intrigue, what interests me, discovery, approach, creative voice and good 'ol problem-solving skills—hmmm, now how best to tell or construct this story for my audience? ;)

Hey Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal" Robert Parera Glen Bradley Robert Rosenbaum Sarah Gabrielle Baron Absolutely, great question Uncle "freaking" Phil. Yes, my second script I wrote was called "Last Call," and came from my years of working in the bar business and I drew from a well of experience. I worked every job in that business. Then I traveled to Ireland to get a true feel on the bar experience. Much Love guys

Hm. Ok, this conversation really has me thinking now...It appears most people think objectively about their characters. I don't, or if I do it's me forcing myself to in order to tease out plot problems. Coloured pencils and fancy post-it notes help. Mostly though, I'm in my imagination, and I AM the character. The number of times I've been doing dishes and my daughter catches me frowning and mouthing silent words. Seriously. Is this not normal: bawling when 'your' best friend dies, screaming (in your head) for 'your' enemy to stop, heart pounding during a chase on horse back? Doesn't this happen to you when you're composing? Don't you become your character?

Sarah: Whatever works, right?! Lol! ;) Me, not so much. I'll go down the rabbit hole, sure, which can be affecting, absolutely. I'll empathize, of course. I also do a ton of research. Plus I have a vivid imagination. But I try to be as objective as possible. The script is not "me," it is a product. You also gotta think of it outside of yourself, separate it from "you"—'cause that's how it is regarded by others, your audience. I'm not one to consider my screenplays as my "babies." I am a parent, there's a massive difference. Haha! ;) Anyhoo, my two cents, considering work in that way can be a detriment. It may interfere with objectivity. But, of course, to each their own. Whatever works for you to create is what's best! ;)

Nope. I'm a very fortunate fellow in that at my age I've done 'most everything that was legally allowed (and a few I never got caught at). During the '60s my Daddy was rich, my Mommy was good looking and I was an only (wild) child - how bad could it have been? Now I'm old and all crippled up - but it was fun. I have lots of memories and experiences to draw from when creating new characters (and I've known some interesting folk).

I think that a lot of younger writers lack life's experience so they often create cardboard characters based more on their wishes than reality. Believe me, reality can be far more interesting because it includes real emotions. A vicarious lifestyle is dull and from it, you will create dull characters.

Uncle Phil - If they want to buy it, I'll sell it. I don't care about credits as long as the check don't bounce.

Wrote a screenplay in 10 days once... I remember reading somewhere about how to write a screenplay in 2 days..:)

I get it right with my first draft. Now, if I could do it all in just 2 days, wouldn't that be something?

All I have to say is I'm a native New Yorker, I lived in NYC and life was sometimes paved up a hill of Hershey squirts. I have two sayings about pressure. Take what you will Remember: "Pressure Makes Diamonds" & "Pressure Bursts Pipes." I'll take diamonds over pipes anyday. Much Love.

Hi Phil, I got that too: They LOVE the story, the concept and everything, but they want a BIG name to rewrite it ''with ''me. And I'll get AD credits and coproducer. I can understand the fact that IF it's from a A list writer it might be more compelling...to who if they like it... ? And a question is rising up in my mind : if the story is of their taste wouldn't be that even more compelling to bring IN new voices ? I mean it could even be more rewarding for them in the long run. Just trying to figure out. And yes, no probleme for me to work under pressure, Did that all my life with making masks and jewellery. Just bring the work over here. He he.

Dyemond, you are right. It turns out I write way too much. It's probably because I write books. So I need to edit a lot out off my screenplay.

John, some of the things you talk about I also did. I am at the stage that I need to rewrite, so that's draft 2. Since I'm busy with a short I need to delete maybe 13 pages out of the 26. I added some scene which I loved writing, but it didn't add anything to the story. So now I need to rewrite a lot :)

One way to approach your story outline: Determine how many pages (minutes) you want the short to run. Then, using a by-page beat sheet, write what happens on each page. For example, 15 minutes ~= 15 pages. Place your plot points on corresponding pages. (i.e.: Page 1 - Setup, Page 2 - Inciting incident, Page 3-6 - Turning Point, Obstacles, Page 7 - Midpoint, Page 8-12 - Raising Stakes, Page 13 - Climax, Page 14-15 - Resolution). You can even add individual scenes under it's corresponding pages.

Outlines: https://www.youtube.com/user/clickokDOTcoDOTuk/videos

I fall under the "writer without a plan" group to. Sometimes I have a rough idea of the ending but no real idea how I'll get there.

Focus on craft, my friend - for years - until you get positive reviews from creatives who don't know u. People who don't know us give the best critiques. In Show Business good doesn't mean sh@@. If it's not great it doesn't matter. Showing off our work before it's ready only hurts us. Show me your best opening page. Let's see where you're at. I can definitely guide u to a higher level. I'll be looking at your first sentence, storyworld intro, character intros. I can glance at your opening page and tell if I'm looking at a trailer with beer cans in the windows, or a mansion with drapes in the windows. Let's see how your best opening page is built. send it private if you'd like. I'm here to help

Victor, perhaps share where you read this? Could give further context. ;) I don't know if "trust" is the right word -- unless you are hired and given responsibility -- because it's rather showing you are capable, that you know how to execute a screenplay, that you are creative, talented, bright and professional, that you can work well with others, and be someone that would be great to work with. You know, the same as most other occupations or work environments and/or working relationships.

Beth, this comes from a question asked elswhere that sparked a conversation with someone who replied and who, I think, is a professional screenwriter. Check the question and its comments(I commented on it, and he replied, last comment to that question)...:

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20180128072408AAgZTwc

Shawn, thank you for this message... I don't think I am a great writer, though, so I don't have a "best" opening page. Please send me a private message with your e-mail to send a first page to you, ok?:) Thank you again for your most generous offer!:)

Dan, in my case you are exactly right. I have two agents that actually keep in touch with me. Both represent me, one for (animations), one for Suspense/Thrillers. We speak often and I know they are gaging my work. Watching me improve. The Gentleman that represents my Suspense/Thrillers, (Gotham AA), Say's you keep writing and keep me informed, and I'll do the rest. He doesn't have to do that for me. He say's I'm almost there. However I'm still trying to figure what there there is.

The trust thing is real. I was lucky enough to have a mentor (Andy Cheng) who worked in films and has connections. When Johnny Martin told Andy he needed a writer for a film he wanted to make and Andy convinced him to let me in on it, Johnny had Andy work with me at first until he was confident that I "got" his ideas and liked me and my work. After the first draft, Andy was able to back out and let me work with Johnny alone. And I'm still working with Johnny today as well as writing with Andy occasionally.

Robert - yes, it's all about the money.

Beth, you definitely get a big MS. HEISINGER, Doug and Dan I thank both of you also. Great feed back. Always good to remember the basics, and to keep it simple.

For curiosity sake, I checked bare-bones in the dictionary. Here is what they say: The irreducible minimum; the most essential components. The key players should be content with my script. The story is another thing. I don't think I'm gonna bore anyone. Cheers my friends! Doug, you're absolutely right. How's the scotch or was it...?

Claude, did you see my comment above? I shared the definition as well. Sure, an idiom can be applied within different context. Of course! Here, I assume your use implies writing a screenplay as lean as possible. Or regarding it only as "the bones" of a film. However, generally, in screenwriting (the teaching of craft) the word or phrase "the bones" or the "skeleton of a story" often refers to the structure from which the meat of the story hangs upon -- its underlining workings, even theme. So "bare bones" in screenwriting for many people may be interpreted to mean story structure, or an outline, or a beat sheet, not the screenplay itself. Ugh, semantics, right? Personally, I would never consider a screenplay the "bones" of anything. Rather more as a launch pad, what could be. Lol! Sorry, but the writer is a key player. A visionary. ;) Best to you! And happy writing!

Not discussing rules is like a birthday present to me. Speaking of birthdays....HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY, STAGE32!

Reasons not to read articles like this one: No. 1) They reductively look at and mention only poor or not-so-effective uses of flashback. Where are the good use examples? No. 2) They create false equivalencies and use triangular non-relationship logic. So... if bad writing uses flashback in a bad, ineffective way, then the writing tool itself must be bad. And thus its use is bad—it's "amateur." False. Because the reverse is not true. Good use of flashback in a highly, effective way is good writing and may be present in a great screenplay. See Dan M's list above. This false logic places blame upon flashback and not on the real culprit—bad writing. Good writing versus bad writing. No. 3) They present a one-sided argument that only supports their narrative and present it as fact. No. 4) They then ask a skewed, leading question at the end, which implies, again, that the tool itself is bad: Why do you think avoiding flashbacks is a good idea?

An the operative is 'well executed' - scripts, flashbacks, storylines, character arc, plots... Do whatever you want - just do it well.

If a Flashback is used properly, and moves the story forward, I think it is great. Especially in Suspense/Thriller's. I used it to explain a women's emotional collapse, came back to the scene, than transitioned to another scene with a (V.O) and brought her back in. It worked really well..

My coach said the same, but I think it can be done with clever writing. I recently watched a episode of the good wife with memory scene's through in. So she is thinking about something what might happen and those characters react on her current situation. Confusing to write, but it was a great episode to watch. So, if well executed, everything is possible.

IMHO flashbacks used sparingly and appropriately help move the story forward AND answer questions.

They fit naturally into film because most times we're not being introduced to characters from birth. We're becoming inserted into their world at some point where they have history. Many times their current status, mindset, drives, etc. are dictated by a history we don't know about UNLESS they either reveal it in dialogue OR we see it in a flashback or both.

Sigh... You don't "go get" copyright. You already have it—a common misconception. Copyright protections are immediate, the moment you write a fixed work. What you are doing is registering a claim of copyright—the work is in your possession. Of course, all dated digital files, postings of work, printed work, etc, etc, etc, create evidence of "ownership" too. Ironically, the more you share your work the more evidence you create that it is indeed yours. Any lawyer will tell you that. Get the facts. No need for paranoia. Write. Create. ;)

Thanks, Beth. Great info!

Shane, other things to consider, if you wish to sell your work, are sharing and pitching. You can certainly post your script on your S32 profile page for peer review. Or just post a logline—whatever you are comfortable sharing. There are other sites to post work: InkTip, SimplyScripts, Script Revolution, etc. Pitching is a whole other skill set. Under "Happy Writers" in the top menu bar, then click pitch sessions, see a link at the bottom of left side column. The link is a pdf of tips or typical expectations for both a written or verbal pitch. Certainly good information. Again, I concur with most in this thread... Get professional review, be prepared for rewrites, and keep writing! Finishing a screenplay is a huge accomplishment. Hold your head high! Now roll up those sleeves and start writing another! Good Luck! :)))

It is all about transforming the idea into a story. Then attaining resources and ability is bring your screenplay to visual life. I am currently looking for such resources. Help is appreciated and will be awarded.

if you like, just pay your $20 to WGA west to register and upload your screenplay to them (this does NOT make you a WGA member tho.. you are going to have to fork out a lot more dollars for that to happen), , then file it with the library of congress for a small fee. you will feel better about copyright issues, altho some feel this is not needed. l;this will supposedly protect legally you from anybody "stealing your script", which very few, if anybody, really ever would do so. If you register with WGA west or such, DO NOT put the registration number on your cover page... it is THE hallmark of being branded with "gasp" the infamous "amateur " to do so... remember... copies of other writer's SPECIFIC in words work can be filed can be filed as copyright issues, as can T.M. issues as far as SPECIFIC NAMES as names go. but there is no law against having and writing about IDEAS... to include tribute derivative works. But I know nothing...

^ That's great advice.

To that I would only ask whether my first script is mine to do with again. I signed the release form they sent me prior to my sending the script. How long can I wait before their silence is officially a rejection and thus allowing me to shop my script around again?

I've submitted scripts to varies agencies I've never seen a clause that states I can't submit to any other agency. Some just take their time in getting back. Others just don't as they feel waste their time. Nature of the beast!!! remember them in the future when you write the great one and they ask for it.

After 2 months, I'd send a probing follow up email just asking if they read the script and wish to discuss it or have any questions or if it was passed in. I sent in a script to a studio and after two months or so I sent an email and they replied back with "sorry, it's still in the pile to be read' as they were super busy. It then triggered them to read it that week. But if after a quick follow up email, if you get nothing back. Assumed it was passed in for one reason or another. And yes, as per other comments, send out far and wide as a release form is only to protect the studio. For example, If you have written a typical bank robbery/cop story, there is a strong chance that the studio has a similar one on their books already or are getting their writers to write one which coincidentally has a similar plot. If your script is good, formatted right, got good coverage or someone of note in the industry has read it and said "man, this is good" then send it out. First in best dressed will option it.

Well, turns out they haven't gotten to the script yet, but they will soon, so to quote my favourite Star Trek character, there's hope for me yet.

Just pictures! I'd say no to 120 pages. If it's a children's book, I don't think they would sit there for 2 hours. Follow the pictures and be creative between the pictures. I'm sure as you flip the page a story will emerge. Just fill in what got you to the next picture. Something must have been rolling in your mind as the pictures flipped.

I agree with Ms Schooner, as a writer that just completed two scripts (animation carton for children), each being 105 pages and am in the process of writing the third (I look at this work as a trilogy), there is no way I would allow anyone to have the intellectual and creative right to them to make changes. I suggest if your interest is that strong write your own. I know when a script writer submits to Literary agencies for this type of conversion, a lot of the story line is taken-out. Their are different category, and age related material that needs to be considered, and there are also different types of books. Usually a bible book would be feature length material. Again the rights of the author come into effect. Or there is one sure way. Buy the rights from the owner of the material.

My apologies to Ms Scheiner for spelling her name wrong.

Awesome! I love the feedback, and appreciate it! I will definitely take them into consideration! Thank You, All!