Screenwriting

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Recently, I went through a Stage 32 script analysis program and found the analysis justifiably devastating.

First off, she asked, "Why does that (sexual abuse) always have to be a thing?" I get it. Yet, it's there bc I've been close to many women who've had that in their lives. I'm still considering...

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Recently, I went through a Stage 32 script analysis program and found the analysis justifiably devastating.

First off, she asked, "Why does that (sexual abuse) always have to be a thing?" I get it. Yet, it's there bc I've been close to many women who've had that in their lives. I'm still considering whether to axe it from the script. Maybe it's always a thing bc, it's so prevalent in the world and still, or forever needs to be talked about.

But then she made a more crucial observation about the victim's weak and unequal response to the crime. Ok, so she kills the guy. But into the future, she doesnt carry his crime against her with anything substantial. Thats absolutely not going to happen in real life, nor should it appear in any script. It's going to be a lifelong struggle for the victim. Forgiveness is a thing I've heard in advice from others, but I never would think of suggesting it. And yet it's right there in my own script!

This is where getting objective analysis for me at least becomes essential. What she pointed out was obvious. I should've caught it. When I showed the script to my close relative who has sexual abuse in her history, she didn't catch it either.

This made me realize that people who know me aren't always going to divorce that awareness from the text I've written. My relative and I talk about her history all the time. A former girlfriend even over the last few days, even today has been texting me about her history with it. Additionally all the other conversations through my life with friends, girlfriends, even former wife. Being a willing, pissed off and sympathetic ear is a part of my DNA at this point. And yet I failed to see the obvious in my own writing about it. Really unconscionable.

Objective readers don't bring any of that prior awareness about you to the table.

Objective analysis is invaluable. No matter how awful it makes me feel about myself. Just get back up and fix it. Thats all there is to it. Isn't that the point of life anyway? Make myself better? Let others try to make me a better person? And if I'm able, try my best to make others happy?

For providing the service, kudos to Stage 32 and to the reader.

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Maurice Vaughan

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2 people like this
- Julian Harrison
- Mark Deuce
5 days ago

Yeah, Barbie dolls count, Julian Harrison.

Sam Rivera

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2 people like this
- Mark Deuce
- Maurice Vaughan
5 days ago

What a great idea! Though I prefer to speak out my dialogue this is definitely a fun and great way to exercise dialogue!

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1 person likes this
- Mark Deuce
5 days ago

Thanks, Sam Rivera. Writers can also do voices for the action figures to come up with dialogue and test it out.

Mike Boas

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2 people like this
- Mark Deuce
- Maurice Vaughan
4 days ago

Doing the voices is a great idea.

https://youtu.be/eGoXyXiwOBg?si=w9UbpPl0cFRbqUJB

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1 person likes this
- Mark Deuce
4 days ago

Haha Mike Boas. Yeah, like that. I need to watch Spaceballs again.

Lindbergh E Hollingsworth

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3 people like this
5 days ago

So focusing on what your post is about, using Final Draft in a job. If that's what the job requires, and you want the job, then you learn, and use, it. Outside of work, you can use it, or use one of t...

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Dan MaxXx

Im just curious if you can screenshot a sample page before Final Draft. Just wanna see how the page looks in Brazil tv.

Here in America, all screenplay software generally follow the same page margins, pre-set.

Dan Guardino

Sam Rivera Are you saying you don't use Final Draft?

Adelmo Carneiro Lessa

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4 people like this
5 days ago

Dan MaxXx A telenovela script is like that, at least here in Brazil. I hope you can see it, the image is very small.

Dan Guardino Lindbergh E Hollingsworth Dan MaxXx Mark Deuce Pat Alexander Sam Rivera Thank you very much for the advice and tips from all of you, you can be sure that they will make a difference in my...

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2 people like this
- Sam Sokolow
- Mark Deuce
5 days ago

Congratulations, Quarterfinalists!

Sam Sokolow

Awesome! Huge and much deserved congratulations to the quarterfinalists!

Marcel Nault Jr.

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1 person likes this
- Mark Deuce
6 days ago

Mark Deuce Hey Mark!

Here's my take on this: To survive in his homeland, a determined Cherokee Indian must face many obstacles that come with a large price.

Pat Alexander

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3 people like this
6 days ago

To become a warrior in his tribe, a Cherokee Indian must survive being hunted for 30 days across a treacherous landscape full of human eating and possessing creatures.

Anthony Moore

Try this - "A young warrior is sent out into the wilds for a month to prove his skill and bravery to the tribe, only to find that these woods hold a secret that turns the hunter into the hunted."

Mark Deuce

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1 person likes this
- Maurice Vaughan
5 days ago

Thank you to all for your amazing feedback!! It was invaluable.

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2 people like this
- Marcel Nault Jr.
- Maurice Vaughan
5 days ago

I love your logline Anthony Moore & Marcel Nault Jr. & Pat Alexander really appreciate your feedback....

Alan Kelley

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6 people like this
5 days ago

Thank you, Amanda. I'm still a bit shell-shocked about myself to start in on it yet. It's going to be more than polish. Fixing will require a major re-write. Plus she mentioned other things that need fixing, from formatting to the rendering of themes. All useful stuff to be sure.

Alan Kelley I'm glad you're happy with your script analysis. However, that's something I would never pay for because I prefer to write my screenplays my way. The only person who has ever given me feed...

What is the world & plot? Thats what script readers need to read on page 1. We're crafting stories with the tools of the trade: setups & payoffs, mcGuffin, twists, misdirection, conflict. This persona...

Amanda Toney

Alan Kelley - being shell shocked is okay and it's normal. Take all the time you need to digest the notes and think clearly on how you want to apply them. Step away from the script for a little while...

Wow! Thank you. Major rewrites aren't daunting. I do them all the time. I get to spend more time with the characters. Yet it would be great to get to some kind of finish line.

Kiril Maksimoski

I'm lost here. Just say who wants what...

Wal Friman

Looks like a celebration of the rich Caribbean culture.

Five Caribbean high school girl examinees fight for unconditional love for each other, but ten years of lies, infidelity, rap, kids and clashing cultures, begin to pull them apart.

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5 people like this
6 days ago

"After a decade marked by betrayal, conflict, and motherhood, five Caribbean women confront the deep-seated secrets that have shaped their lives since high school, reveali...

Lisa Milliner

Thank you for the feed back, it's rape actually. I'm not a writer so yes my grammar is off, I just write. Yes it takes place in Broward fL. They are not rich. I wrote the script before I wrote the Logline.

HI Lisa! I highly recommend that you watch this logline webinar. It is my #1 favorite webinar on the platform and I go back and reference it all the time, it will totally help you: https://www.stage32...

Anna Marton Henry

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2 people like this
- Mark Deuce
- Maurice Vaughan
6 days ago

Thank you so much everyone! This is such an amazing community!

Pat Alexander Wow this is a teasure trove. Any particular ones that really illustrate three-act structure and "the hero's journey"? So many films are really creative but the "architecture" is well hid...

Anna Marton Henry it's great to hear that you'll be teaching an introductory class! I'm a big fan of THE LUNCH DATE! it may be very on the nose but such a good short!

If you happen to teach that class next year, I'd be happy to tell you my idea for a short film.

Sam Rivera I'm actually teaching this at a university, but it may end up coming to Stage 32 too (I guess). I love THE LUNCH DATE and it's definitely one I am using! I used to represent Adam Davidson (...

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2 people like this
- Marcel Nault Jr.
- Maurice Vaughan
6 days ago

Here ya go Drakos Nox and best of luck with your d&d project!

https://www.scriptslug.com/?q=dc...

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2 people like this
- Marcel Nault Jr.
- Mark Deuce
6 days ago

Welcome back, Drakos Nox. Exciting projects. What really got me interested is "He must unite the warring factions of Aramor before the Lich King plunges the land into eternal darkness." I really like...

As a huge D&D fan myself, I approve this first chapter of yours. I'm just hoping the Lich King doesn't turn out to be another Vecna though.

Your story of J'onn J'onnz looks very exciting on paper. Keep up the great work, dude!

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