Screenwriting

Congratulations on getting script requests, Omeed, Jay, Danny, Elise, and Pierce!

Thank you, Elle Bolan! I always appreciate how you’re following the story’s direction; your insights help sharpen it.

I’m now thinking of making a black cat a symbolic thread throughout the story. Earlier in her travels, the doctor witnessed a black cat overcome symptoms of a similar sickness. It instinctively plunged into a mineral-rich pool and survived — but came out changed. Its eyes turned two different colors, making it recognizable when she sees it again near the infected.

That memory becomes key to her breakthrough. The cat’s survival shows her there’s a natural path to resistance, and she uses that moment as the foundation for creating a cure. I love the idea of instinct and nature guiding her science.

And I’ve also been thinking that she keeps a written record of what she learns. Almost like a personal book of remedies documenting symptoms, what worked, what failed, and even the ritual elements she uses during what people believe are exorcisms.

Over time, that book becomes something more. It is no longer just spiritual cleansing. It becomes the foundation for actual treatments and cures that can be passed down. In that sense, she could be seen as the first exorcist if leaning into the horror aspects, as she travels through ancient lands, going against different beliefs and/or possessed patients needing help.

Would you lean toward a concrete medical revolution in the story, or a darker, legend-like arc in which she becomes the first true exorcist of disease?

Thank you, Wendy Toliver! That’s a great question, and I can see how that wording could be unclear.

In this version, the high priest blames the poorest people who were banished for eating sacred cats and dogs out of desperation. When the infection spreads, he sees it as punishment for their actions and begins sacrificing the poor as his solution.

But when someone close to him becomes infected, he refuses to sacrifice her and keeps her locked away as she slowly changes. Watching her decay only deepens his anger and blame toward the lower class.

The doctor’s mission becomes healing the close relative to prove medicine is the answer and stop the bloodshed, all while she’s being hunted and accused herself as she tries to evade the cities gaurds, and the outbreak slowly spreads.

Would love to hear what you think of that direction and whether it clarifies the dynamic.

Okay, so it sounds more like he’s exterminating the lower class rather than sacrificing? I feel like sacrificing, especially since he’s a priest, is more about giving a gift to the gods, in the hope the gods will give some kind of reward, while in this case he’s angry at these people who’ve eaten dogs and cats and caused so much suffering with this plague, so he’s trying to get rid of them. Am I on the right page?

I had another thought while reading-reading your initial post. I don’t think you need “mind-altering” because it’s understood that these ppl weren’t feral cannibals before the plague.

Again, I really like your idea!

@Dwayne, I think that would depend on what your aim behind the story is. Given the symbolism you've laid out there, I think that lends toward the darker resolution. To me, anyway.

Is this a path she chooses... Or one she's boxed into because of what she is/becomes in order to help others?

Thank you, Wendy Toliver. You’re definitely on the right page, and I appreciate you digging into the distinction.

This story is set in a very early period of ancient Egypt, when ritual sacrifice in extreme crises was still practiced for a short time. The idea here is that the incident becomes part of why cats were later so deeply protected and worshipped. They defended food stores from pests and rodents, so eating them was not only religiously forbidden but also dangerous to survival, and could result in severe punishment.

The poorest people, banished and desperate, begin eating cats and dogs. Those animals had been exposed to insects and parasites, and that choice led to a gradual sickness. It starts with subtle symptoms, mental decay, and behavioral shifts before reaching the final feral stage.

The doctor witnesses the infection in a cat at the beginning of her journey across Africa. When she arrives in Egypt and sees similar symptoms in people, she tries to warn them. Instead, the priest begins rounding people up for sacrifice. As the disease spreads, he shifts from ritual sacrifice to outright execution, targeting the poorest in the city who were near the banished he blames their desperation and wants to cleanse and gift them to gods.

When his wife becomes infected, he hides her instead of sacrificing her. Watching her deteriorate breaks him. He calls the disease evil, but his inability to save her turns into rage, and he doubles down on blaming the lower class.

And the “mind-altering” part refers to that breakdown phase before the final transformation. It’s a slow unraveling before they become fully feral.

Would love to know if that helps clarify the intention behind the sacrifice versus execution dynamic.

Hi Maurice, thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your feedback I truly appreciate it.

I’m really glad the title and emotional tone connected with you, especially the “comfort of being understood” part that’s exactly what I wanted the story to feel like.

And thank you for the logline suggestion as well. You’re absolutely right I’ll tighten it down to around 35 words and make it sharper.

Yes, Clara’s presence is meant to heal Ethan, but his toxic past keeps pulling him back, and that emotional conflict becomes the core tension of the story.

Thanks again for the encouragement it means a lot coming from a fellow screenwriter.

Best regards,

Abhijeet Aade

You're welcome, Abhijeet Aade. I'm looking forward to seeing PIE & COFFEE!

Thank you so much, Maurice Vaughan Really appreciate the support. I’ll definitely share updates soon excited to bring PIE & COFFEE to life.

You're welcome, Abhijeet Aade. Okay, great. And you could post your script on your profile when it's ready. You might get interest from producers, actors, DPs, etc. Click the gear symbol in the top right-hand corner and select “Edit profile” in the drop-down menu. Scroll down to “Loglines” and click “Add/edit loglines” to the right of “Loglines.” You can also post your script on your profile this way: www.stage32.com/loglines (near the top where it says “Add a Logline”)

Maurice Vaughan Yes, I’ll upload my loglines soon once the final polish is done.

Hi, Sofia Servizio. I've had a lot of success on here, mainly by networking. I've gotten script requests, paid jobs, sold four short scripts to a producer, signed a shopping agreement for my game show, and more.

I'm a full-time ghostwriter, screenwriter, and pitch deck designer.

The Pitch Sessions are definitely worth it. They helped me make my pitches and scripts better.

Screenwriting contests can help your career. Stage 32 is the Global Screenwriting Contest Hub (www.stage32.com/scriptservices/contests).

Maurice Vaughan You're the first one I've heard of game shows.

I've tried producing a couple of fairly original game shows. One was even illegally copied, "In 10 Minutes," produced on a very low budget in two bars. I'm not selling the rights, but I want to produce them abroad as a television production to attract sponsors. If you're interested, I'll work for free to produce them professionally.

"Various Games" was also well-received, but I haven't uploaded it.

You see.

Hi Sofia Servizio ,

I completely understand where you’re coming from—starting out and balancing costs is tough. I’ve been in the trenches with scripts that have gone from concept to production, and one thing I’ve learned is that measurable progress comes from a combination of focused writing, smart pitching, and knowing when to invest in opportunities that accelerate your story forward.

For me, the moments that really changed everything weren’t just contests or sessions—they were the ones where I treated every script like a mini-business: clear structure, tight narrative, and market-ready polish. It’s amazing how much momentum that approach creates, even on a budget.

I’d be happy to share some practical tips from that experience if it would help you streamline your next steps—small decisions early on can make a huge difference.

Hi, Elisa Bertoli. Sorry to hear your game show got illegally copied. Congratulations on Various Games being well-received!

Thanks for the offer, but I'm not a producer. You could search for producers in the Browse Members section (www.stage32.com/people?name=&location=&roles=Producer).

Patrick Koepke Did you have to pay to pitch to them? I'm fairly new to this site, but I do get their emails about pitching. It feels a little weird to have to pay for a pitch, but it's also an amazing opportunity, so I understand spending the money.

You're welcome, Patrick Koepke.

Hi, Sofia Servizio. The main purpose of the Pitch Sessions is to get feedback to improve your pitch, but sometimes the executives, managers, etc. request scripts, sign writers, etc. (www.stage32.com/scriptservices/success-stories).

Sofia Servizio What Maurice said. The best way to think about Pitch sessions is that this is a way to learn the ropes of pitching while still in the safety of a learning environment. Each time you pitch, you're pitching a real exec, usually a manager, agent, or producer/dev. director, and like he said, the primary goal is feedback. But they can still request your script and even sign you or open up a more formal relationship. I've pitched 9 times so far across 5 of the projects on my slate, and have 4 requests (where they want to read the script you just pitched them) and 5 passes (which means they aren't interested). However, all nine pitches provided outstanding feedback that helped me uplevel my pitch, my screenplay, and sometimes even my concept. So it's well worth it. Also I've been impressed with how well Stage 32 curates the execs we can pitch to.

Patrick Koepke Sold!

Hey, Bill Brock. I think Hollywood is FAR from over. I've been seeing a lot of hate inside and outside of the industry for AI and this video on social media. And I saw some people say AI will make artists and art more valuable. I agree. Keep your fingers on the keyboard, writers.

Hate for the AI video of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt fighting, Bill Brock. Not the WDW Pro video.

Maurice Vaughan I’m hoping for a positive outcome as well, Maurice. I mirror your exact sympathies. I raise the point because I follow the economy religiously each day, completely shocked by the number of corporate, federal, and private business layoffs that continue to shed jobs by the THOUSANDS each day, all due to the advent of A I. There is NO WAY possible that the film industry is immuned from this continued massive downsizing. A l is gobbling up the American workforce and spitting it out. Sad Reality. Can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Television commercials are now created by A I. The logical next step is film and television. Tragically, A I is on course to become THE WORLD’S Movie Studio.

Maurice Vaughan

That's one of the reasons I'm against using AI, Bill Brock.

Thanks for sharing the article, Antony Voronov. I put those things in my loglines. I also put the inciting incident or location and date in a logline.

If it's an ensemble cast script or series, I'll mention the group, team, etc. instead of a protagonist.

I avoid using names in my spec script loglines. Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, well-known public figure, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).

If a writer is directing or producing their script, they could probably do what they want in a logline though.

Hi. I liked it, especially the second logline.

Thanks, Oleg!

Really unique concepts and solid loglines, Spenser Wise! I can't wait to watch CHAMBER and KEPT MEN! What kind of guidance are you looking for?

I like them! My only note is add a word about each protagonist's personality.

I read both of your loglines carefully and patiently to share my thoughts on your two concepts, and I actually love them so much.

Logline #1 "Chamber"

Strength

• I love the theme that centered on family and risk-taking.

• It also mentions "bond," which may hint at what would happen if it were separated from the other

• It has clear conflicts about what makes the Cajun twin brothers and sisters

• The stakes feel personal and urgent without spoiling the full surprise

Weakness

• There's no mention of the characters' names, so it's easier to know who is who.

• What are the personalities that set them apart from each other?

• What's their goal?

• What kind of stakes are they going to face?

Logline #2: Kept Men

Strength

• The loglines contain the clear conflicts of what the man became a live-in test subject, and it gives an idea of the kind of obstacles that would arise.

• The premise is a simple yet engaging concept.

• The story set a theme about technology, human rights, and being able to take risks as he tried to find his friend.

• The logline has the purpose of explaining what the homeless man is facing.

• The last part of the sentence, "where an obsession with aging fuels a sinister experiment," gives the best clue of what problems he'll face.

Weakness

• Like I said with "Logline #1 Chamber", this doesn't contain the names of the characters, and their development, so I can see them as characters, not plot-driven devices.

What do they have in common?

Both of your loglines are brilliant and original, but the writing structures felt generic, safe, and uninspired. I recommend reconstructing your loglines by writing the character's name. What is their personality?

Here's my logline from my 5th feature film, for example, for visual reference.

In Canada in 2012, the family drama feature tells the story of Obasi and Adeya, two outspoken but firm young adults, and Kelechi and Jidenna, two fun-loving, bold teens, as four Nigerian siblings navigate an African household challenged by conservative grandparents after their parents divorced a year ago.

Overall, both of your loglines are very thoughtful and articulate. I love how both concept have their own story, themes, and setting that set them apart from "Chamber" and "Kept Men".

Hi. Can you show me the logline and synopsis?

Hi Matthew; I have a Sci fi anthology series pilot I would like to share.

I can definitely give you a read on the weekend if you like.

Just sent you a message!

Kevin, I appreciate the commercial angle - but I see this differently.

To me, there are only two forms of spirituality in history:

faith in ritual - and faith in the Omnipresent.

Not faith as institution. Not faith as identity.

But faith as recognition that consciousness itself points beyond material explanation.

I don’t believe atheists reject transcendence - they simply rename it: Nature, Cosmos, Absolute, Energy. The vocabulary shifts. The metaphysical intuition remains.

What happened in 12th-century Shirvan was radical. It wasn’t sectarian religion. It was an incubator - a controlled experiment in decentralizing spiritual authority. Instead of concentrating power in dogma, it allowed multiple traditions to search for the Divine within the human being.

That is why the assassin conspiracy matters dramatically. They represent ideological control. The Tower represents inner sovereignty.

This isn’t “faith-based” in the modern genre sense.

It’s civilizational philosophy wrapped in historical conflict.

The real question is not whether audiences want religion.

It’s whether they’re ready for a story about spiritual decentralization.

Adnabod Calon wow, such an interesting and powerful concept. Thank you for taking on such an important story. History shows us that the turmoil and seemingly unprecedented events of today are merely repeats of history. Far too often art fails to identify the positive cycles, moments and events of history that provide hope and demonstrate that WE are capable of rising above any individual(s), abhorrent ideas or martial conflict. I am rooting for this story!!

Darrell, What drew me to this story wasn’t nostalgia - it was danger.

Interfaith unity in the 12th century wasn’t an idealistic dream. It was a radical political act. It threatened power structures. It created enemies. It required courage that rivaled any battlefield.

We’ve seen countless films about wars of conquest. Far fewer about wars of ideas - and the cost of choosing coexistence over control.

What if the most explosive tension isn’t sword against sword - but vision against fear?

That’s the story I’m telling.

Very interesting take Adnabod Calon

If I wanted to develop this, I would give highest priority to what I think the audience can most easily understand. Which I think is the love story.

This is awesome. Thank you Maurice Vaughan ! I'd have missed seeing this one otherwise. (For some weird reason I always forget to also check the blog page, despite it consistently having some of the best content at Stage 32!) Bookmarking this one.

You're right, Patrick Koepke. It's awesome. New writers and experienced writers should read the blog. I picked up tips and got some reminders from it.

You're welcome. That's one reason I post about a blog in the Screenwriting Lounge/another Lounge. And it's a way to start a conversation in the Lounge.

Read it! Lots of great advice here.

Glad you read the blog, Sofia Servizio. What's one tip you got from it?

Incredible blog, Ashley Renee Smith! The tip that hit me hardest is what Thomas Newman said (Be short, leave time for questions. Once you have fleshed out your big idea, and given them something to chew on, stop the pitch and take questions."). I put too much in my live pitches and don't leave time for questions sometimes.